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Showing results 1 to 40 of 113
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Search: Posts Made By: Kristen1995
Forum: Depression and Suicide April 23rd 2013, 10:21 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 496
Posted By Kristen1995
Negative Suicidal Ideation??

I still feel a lot of mood swings and constantly find myself falling back into the dark hole. I have had a couple of suicide attempts. Lately, I have not thought much about the ways I could off...
Forum: Self Harm April 23rd 2013, 10:13 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 574
Posted By Kristen1995
Am I SICK?

I accidentally cut my finger in the kitchen today. It's a deep cut, but I was somehow excited to see myself bleeding. Instead of stopping the blood, I found myself sucking it like a vampire. Later, I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide March 21st 2012, 03:17 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 560
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: No reason to live

It is hard to ignore them because they are the ones who I have to deal with on the daily basis. Not easy to have control over my feelings about them.
Forum: Depression and Suicide March 20th 2012, 11:48 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 560
Posted By Kristen1995
No reason to live

I find myself being assaulted by people once again. Those words and labels just hurt so much. What's the point of keeping reinforcing that while I am already down? Are they blind? Can't they see that...
Forum: Depression and Suicide March 12th 2012, 10:08 AM
Replies: 3
Triggering: Ready to die
Views: 618
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Ready to die

I can relate to the part of wanting to die, but can I ask you why your Dad would want to kill himself and is it the reason why you want to die?
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 11th 2012, 09:38 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 644
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Evil Land

My parents are just divorced. Dad is going to move back to Wellington next week while I will stay with Mom in Auckland, which means that I won't see him often. If he loved me, he would not have...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 10th 2012, 10:12 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 644
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Evil Land

Not only people in school have treated me like that. I feel like I always attract bad/nasty people, but I really don't understand why. I was once told that I was a "soft" person. Does it mean that I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 10th 2012, 04:20 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 644
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Evil Land

Who can be trusted? I have tried so many times to make friends, but they all just want to use me. I don't know what I have done to make them hate me so much. I gave them my heart, but they just...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 9th 2012, 06:15 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 644
Posted By Kristen1995
Evil Land

Everyone wants something from me. This is the only reason why they approach me and pretend to be friendly to me. I was so stupid that I did not realise that in the first place. I thought that they...
Forum: Friends and Family January 28th 2012, 09:18 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 711
Posted By Kristen1995
Bad karma?

I am losing everything that is important to me-friends, family and love. Maybe I am changed or maybe my friends are changed. We are not close any more, but I can't make any new friends. My parents...
Forum: Depression and Suicide January 28th 2012, 08:49 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 719
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: A Broken Heart

Why is everyone leaving me behind? I have lost the most valuable things. I have tried not to care or remember, but I can't. What could make me feel hopeful?
Forum: Depression and Suicide January 27th 2012, 10:36 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (Suicide): Wants to die
Views: 549
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Wants to die

Sorry, but I don't know how to make you stop feeling like that because I feel the same way and haven't found the answers. I hope that you can stay positive and maybe you could find the answers later...
Forum: Depression and Suicide January 27th 2012, 10:21 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 719
Posted By Kristen1995
A Broken Heart

I thought that I was cold or numb enough and could live without anyone else. I don't want to live longer than my parents do, but I think that it would be much much better if I were just dead. I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 12th 2011, 09:23 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 633
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Back to Square One

Sometimes I feel like people would care if I was gone, but most of time I don't think they would. Everyone would be happier if I was not around. Some of them even have said something like "I am a...
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 12th 2011, 09:16 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 633
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Back to Square One

Thanks! Maybe I should tell my therapist about my feelings before this Wednesday. I don't feel comfortable.
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 9th 2011, 02:18 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 452
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Voices

I can't control the voices.
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 9th 2011, 02:16 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 398
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Who cares?

I have tried to get help, but I can't be helped. Now I am getting tired of it.
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 9th 2011, 02:12 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 633
Posted By Kristen1995
Back to Square One

I thought that I was making some progress. Yesterday I got referred to a new therapist. I was counting on my previous therapist. She had treated me for about 1.5 years, but she said that it would be...
Forum: Depression and Suicide December 2nd 2011, 01:58 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 398
Posted By Kristen1995
Who cares?

Nobody else give a shit about me. People are using me. Why can't I just stop caring? I need to change myself and be ignorant and selfish.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 19th 2011, 04:36 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 452
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Voices

The voices in my head.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 18th 2011, 10:19 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 452
Posted By Kristen1995
Voices

They keep telling me that I am weak and worthless and burdening everyone else. The only way out of this is death.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 7th 2011, 02:40 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 600
Posted By Kristen1995
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My 16th birthday is next month. This is gonna be SPECIAL with a good surprise. Die on the day I was born. Easier for everyone to forget. I used to care, but not any more. More importantly, I would...
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 7th 2011, 03:04 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: This is it!

What messages?

I wish I was gone. Someone is always in my way.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 7th 2011, 03:02 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: This is it!

you know what most people who commit suicide think of in their last few seconds, "shit, i don't want to die" then they die. please don't do this kristen.
i'm here, and i'm not going...
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 6th 2011, 07:08 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: This is it!

I've tried, but nothing's changed. Tired of the struggles every single day. What's the point of struggling while things never get better?
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 5th 2011, 11:41 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: This is it!

I thought that you were on my side. Getting tired of all this shit! This world is so hateful.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 5th 2011, 11:38 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: This is it!

Things wont get better. There is no hope. Just need to steal the pills from my mom.
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 4th 2011, 03:58 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 516
Posted By Kristen1995
This is it!

My mood: extremely depressed/suicidal

My thoughts: I should die.
I deserve to die.
Nobody wants/love me.
I should never be born.
...
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 4th 2011, 10:17 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 575
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Fail again

I don't believe in karma. Why did I get raped? I had done nothing wrong to deserve that. The guy who raped me has never got caught. He's just got away with it while I've been suffering because of...
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 3rd 2011, 10:35 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 575
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Fail again

I am not religious.
Forum: Self Harm November 3rd 2011, 10:02 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 452
Posted By Kristen1995
cut, cut, cut...

I am feeling so worthless and filthy. And I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I am feeling so powerless that I can't help picturing myself being covered in my own blood and bleeding out... I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide November 3rd 2011, 09:52 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 575
Posted By Kristen1995
Fail again

I was supposed to be sent to my auntie's while my parents were away, but they have cancelled their trip to Wellington. Now I have to make a new plan. My original one was to kill myself at my auntie's...
Forum: Friends and Family October 20th 2011, 11:47 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 780
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Just the icons!!!

I have learned coping mechanism in therapy, but it is hard to apply it. I can't stop feeling depressed, sad and angry. I hate myself, everyone and my life...am losing control over myself and having...
Forum: Friends and Family October 19th 2011, 09:31 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 780
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Just the icons!!!

I don't have true friends but just those so-called "friends" who don't give a damn about me. I feel so alone in this world. My own opinions on myself is dependent on others' views about me, which...
Forum: Friends and Family October 18th 2011, 05:14 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 780
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Just the icons!!!

I don't completely agree with you. I don't see them make comments on my posts or drop a message greeting me. They don't even respond to my messages. If they valued me as a friend, they should not...
Forum: Depression and Suicide October 17th 2011, 11:04 AM
Replies: 13
Triggering: Not worth it
Views: 604
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: Not worth it

I hear you, girl. And I can relate to that. Feel free PM me if you ever want to.
Forum: Friends and Family October 17th 2011, 10:41 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 780
Posted By Kristen1995
Just the icons!!!

I don't understand why people want to add me as a friend but don't bother talking to/caring about me. What is the point of keeping me in their friend lists, then?
Forum: Depression and Suicide October 14th 2011, 11:10 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 558
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: DIE!!

I am weak becuase I can't pull myself out of this rut. I've been in therapy for years and seen people who have the same experience recover, but why can't I be like them? My ptsd and depression are...
Forum: Depression and Suicide October 13th 2011, 11:50 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 558
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: DIE!!

I hate them because they want to have control over my life. They make decisions on almost everything for me becuase they think that I am always wrong. They once said that they thought about abortion...
Forum: Depression and Suicide October 13th 2011, 11:40 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 558
Posted By Kristen1995
Re: DIE!!

Because my parents think that I am so stupid and can't do anything right. They feel ashamed of me. Suicide is a shameful thing to them. My "precious life"? My life is full of shit and pain. I want...
Showing results 1 to 40 of 113

 
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