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Showing results 1 to 40 of 53
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Search: Posts Made By: butterflykisses300
Forum: Eating Disorders December 14th 2019, 05:33 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 958
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Relapse

Deep insecurities about myself that lead to feeling like my world is ending. Even if people think I’m an amazing songwriter, I disagree. I’m not to professional level yet and I feel miserable about...
Forum: Eating Disorders December 14th 2019, 04:26 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 958
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Relapse

It’s okay. Still heavily restricting and losing weight. I don’t really want to recover right now.
Forum: Eating Disorders December 12th 2019, 06:41 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 958
Posted By butterflykisses300
Angry Relapse

I've been relapsing from my eating disorder now for a couple months. My weight is lower than it's ever really been. Now it's super difficult to even want to get better because I keep wanting to...
Forum: Eating Disorders November 22nd 2019, 10:01 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,115
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: It's been awhile

Thanks Jen. I don't know how much I'm struggling at the moment. I mean, I'm so excited about my music career, that it completely takes away from my struggle of an eating disorder. I have so many...
Forum: Eating Disorders November 22nd 2019, 09:22 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,115
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation It's been awhile

Hello friends,
Gosh it's been such a long time since I've been on this site. I joined the site when I was in middle school, maybe about 13 years old. Now I am at my first year of college. I remember...
Forum: Mental Health September 18th 2019, 02:01 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 5,566
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Paralyzed by anxiety

Thank you both for your replies. A friend from home encouraged me to seek help at my college campus. Yes, I have some friends here which is great. As difficult as it was, I talked to one of my...
Forum: Mental Health September 12th 2019, 12:59 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 5,566
Posted By butterflykisses300
Paralyzed by anxiety

Something is so wrong. I don't know how I feel. I'm just going through the motions of life and I don't feel anything. Maybe it is pain. Maybe I'm happy, but I don't know it yet. I don't know. I feel...
Forum: Eating Disorders February 28th 2019, 05:52 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,601
Posted By butterflykisses300
Question Nausea while eating

I’ve been facing fear food lately and has anyone else experienced this? While eating things with refined sugar, I start to feel really nauseous and idk if it has to do with hypoglycemia or just not...
Forum: Eating Disorders February 19th 2019, 07:48 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,637
Posted By butterflykisses300
update on recovery

I was able to get myself back up and keep fighting for recovery. Ar the beginning of re-feeding, I definitely had extreme hunger and it went away for awhile but it came back stronger than ever. I've...
Forum: Eating Disorders February 14th 2019, 01:58 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,622
Posted By butterflykisses300
Making progress but....

As Iíve been working on recovery, I still have really strong temptations sometimes. I just wish I could quit eating altogether. Someone pls tell me not to.
Forum: Eating Disorders November 20th 2018, 04:14 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,904
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: I've finally found passion again!!!!

Thanks Frankie and Raven. I really appreciate your replies. ;)
Forum: Eating Disorders November 19th 2018, 07:47 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,904
Posted By butterflykisses300
Thumbs up I've finally found passion again!!!!

Some of you know that I've struggled with atypical anorexia for several years. It's been a battle and my recent relapse got me down the hardest it ever has before. My brain and body were suffering so...
Forum: Eating Disorders November 19th 2018, 07:27 PM
Replies: 3
Triggering: Pica?
Views: 1,827
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Pica?

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. Eating disorders can be very isolating sometimes but know that you are never alone. It takes courage to reach out to people on a platform like this. We are...
Forum: Eating Disorders November 10th 2018, 04:53 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,886
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Stubborn attitude and accountability

Thanks Frankie. The biggest problem is that my brain is just so malnourished that I don’t care. When im able to be re fed, things will even out a little and I’ll find motivation again. My dietician...
Forum: Eating Disorders November 7th 2018, 09:24 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,886
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation Stubborn attitude and accountability

I havenít gone to a treatment center (yet??). We were working on an accountability system so that people are always there for every meal. I sent an email yesterday to my treatment team and apparently...
Forum: Eating Disorders October 26th 2018, 05:56 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 2,033
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Everything... itís never been worse

Hi Violet. Thanks for the reply. Right now is an interesting time for me. My therapist thinks I'm having a manic episode (related to bipolar disorder). So I've had way too much energy and haven't...
Forum: Eating Disorders October 17th 2018, 02:57 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 2,109
Posted By butterflykisses300
Getting my life back together

I donít know what to do anymore. I am just so frustrated with everything and feel completely empty. My eating disorder keeps getting worse and I barely even want to get better. Iím just all alone and...
Forum: Eating Disorders October 4th 2018, 03:01 AM
Replies: 1
Triggering (ED): The game plan
Views: 2,038
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation The game plan

I talked to my dietician today. She is very worried about me and I have all these health problems. At the end of our conversation, she was very clear with me that the only possibilities from my...
Forum: Eating Disorders October 1st 2018, 07:47 AM
Replies: 1
Triggering (ED): Flat emotions
Views: 2,226
Posted By butterflykisses300
Unhappy Flat emotions

Has anyone else experienced this? For the last several days, Iíve been extremely anxious and stubborn about everything. Iím unwilling to make change in my eating patterns, Iím angry at the world and...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 28th 2018, 10:03 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 2,033
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation Everything... itís never been worse

I had an anxiety attack earlier. And I got an email from my dietician because sheís worried about a comment I made about suicide. And my eating disorder has gotten so bad. I have to go to a treatment...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 27th 2018, 04:42 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Treatment center
Views: 1,941
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Treatment center

Thanks all of you. My dietician emailed my mom and I about the results to lab work from the doctor. Apparently I have a lot of deficiencies and everyone is really worried about me. According to them,...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 25th 2018, 06:17 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Treatment center
Views: 1,941
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Treatment center

When I said that it feels like being possessed by another being, I meant that this ED feels so much like another force (like the devil) and that I am not truly myself. It’s like I’m mentally being...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 25th 2018, 03:07 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Treatment center
Views: 1,941
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation Treatment center

I just got done talking to my therapist. In the past few weeks, my treatment team has grown a lot. I started working with a dietician, school nurse, school counselor and also support from family....
Forum: Eating Disorders September 8th 2018, 05:09 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 2,031
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation facing fear foods

As I'm in recovery, my therapist and dietician want me to face fear foods. I have taken a lot of time to think about it because it's a challenge although certain things, I've already been able to...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 3rd 2018, 04:21 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 2,120
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: busyness, stress, recovery (worried about this school year)

Ps... the reason I have a break in sleep at 1am is because I do something called the segmented sleep cycle. If you don’t know what that is, google it.
Forum: Eating Disorders September 3rd 2018, 04:19 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 2,120
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: busyness, stress, recovery (worried about this school year)

Thanks Jordan!!! Yes, I am like the queen of schedules... lol. I have a few different planners for different things. I also do enjoy meal planning for the week every sunday. But soon my dietician is...
Forum: Eating Disorders September 2nd 2018, 03:37 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 2,120
Posted By butterflykisses300
Exclamation busyness, stress, recovery (worried about this school year)

Hey friends!!
I have made so much progress with my recovery and I am eating regularly now. It's pretty exciting. I start school in a few days and I've been worried because I know I'll be extremely...
Forum: Depression and Suicide July 27th 2018, 02:32 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 590
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Read this. Especially if you're thinking of very, very bad things.

that’s very thoughtful of you, carwithnogas. Thank you! ;)
Forum: General Health July 27th 2018, 02:30 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 812
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: personal hygeine?

Thanks Holly. Most the time I don’t think it’s forgetfulness. Usually I am working on something like getting ready for work or for bed and don’t feel like brushing my teeth or taking contacts out....
Forum: General Health July 25th 2018, 03:21 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 812
Posted By butterflykisses300
personal hygeine?

For several years, I have struggled with keeping up my personal hygiene. It feels wrong and disgusting to admit it but sometimes I go awhile without brushing my teeth, taking a shower, washing my...
Forum: General Health July 18th 2018, 09:53 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 829
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Sleep (the amount of time I'm sleeping)

I've noticed that I stopped having scheduled sleep when I began to experience sleep paralysis. It happens pretty regularly usually pretty mild but sometimes extreme. It's a terrifying experience.
...
Forum: General Health July 18th 2018, 09:29 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 829
Posted By butterflykisses300
Sleep (the amount of time I'm sleeping)

Is there a way to "sleep faster" or train my body to run on a very little amount of sleep? I have so much to do with my life that I don't want to "waste" it on sleep.
Forum: Self Harm July 18th 2018, 09:24 PM
Replies: 18,762
Views: 453,042
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Self harm free!

Since august of 2016. So almost 2 years
Forum: Eating Disorders July 11th 2018, 01:44 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,873
Posted By butterflykisses300
Comparison (read this if you want a bit of motivation for recovery)

Recovery is hard. Recovery is so worth it though. I have struggled with an eating disorder for a few years and I'm now going through the recovery process. There are times when I was so tempted to...
Forum: Eating Disorders July 11th 2018, 01:24 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,534
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: Bulimia

HI lucyhiggs. I'm sorry to hear this. Do you know if there is any professional help involved? If there's no options for that, how about a school counselor? That is the first place to start because we...
Forum: Mental Health June 3rd 2018, 04:29 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 853
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: hallucinations?

Thank you. What scares me the most is that I’ve never heard of ED patients experiencing visual hallucinations... just auditory. And when it happens it is really frightening because I legitimately...
Forum: Mental Health June 3rd 2018, 06:38 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 853
Posted By butterflykisses300
hallucinations?

(idk whether to put this thread in Mental Health or Eating Disorders because it's kinda both)

I was talking to my therapist today and described certain visual experiences... one was about a big...
Forum: Anxiety May 29th 2018, 09:03 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 2,082
Posted By butterflykisses300
Driving in the Dark

Hi everyone. I realized that I am terrified of when my dad drives in the dark... I'm afraid of crashing. I think it might have something to do with a time I almost crashed as I was learning to...
Forum: Arrivals and Departures May 24th 2018, 01:33 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 812
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: I'm back

Hi Ellie!!! Nice to see you again!
Forum: Arrivals and Departures May 20th 2018, 01:34 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 812
Posted By butterflykisses300
Re: I'm back

Thanks everyone for your welcomes. I think this thread has the most replies I've ever gotten before. :D

*hugs*

Anyone want to pm me? I've been wanting to talk to someone just because I'm bored...
Showing results 1 to 40 of 53

 
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