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* Forgiving The Labyrinth OfflineMember |
Last Activity: February 1st 2013 11:59 AM
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Hey there Sam!
Welcome to TeenHelp!
I'm Vicky, a Buddy here on the site, it's my job to answer any questions people might have or help them out if they need any help with anything. If i can't help you myself i can definitely point you in the direction of someone who can.
I spotted you were new so wanted to say hello You profile is looking great, it seems like you've been going through a lot so i hope you can get the support you need here on the site. If there's ever anything i can do or you want a chat let me know
About Me
- Basics
- Name
- Sam
- Gender
- Female
- Location
- The United States
- About
- About me
- “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
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Hello there~
My name is Samantha, though I prefer Sam. Currently, I struggle with depression, as well as self-harm. I have an extremely low self-esteem, and I battled anorexia last year. I am still not on a proper eating schedule.
I wish I had a good reason to be depressed. Some people were abused, some people had shit parents, some people lost people they love. I don't have a simple explanation, a determined reason as to why I'm this way. It happened, slowly, and then it hit. And I've no simple explanation why.
Despite that, despite it all, I don't want to get better.
Hear me when I say I have no burning desire to get better. No one ever wants to give up what makes them feel better. No one ever really wants to put down the razor for an alternative, no matter what they tell themselves. No one ever really wants to give up what's kept them going for as long as it did. So why on Earth should I say that I 'want' to get better?
I don't want to, but I am.
And could you really ask much more of me?
I am trying my hardest, on my own, to stop hurting myself. I am trying my hardest, and there isn't much more I can do but that. Why?
I figured that the world is full of shit. There's shit people, shit movies, shit beliefs, and shit promises. There are very few things that aren't shit. Very few people that are good, very few that are genuine. And I decided that I wanted to be part of that very few. And there was no way I could do that, no way I could be that, if I didn't figure out my own shit.
By saying that I don't mean that someone who's depressed is a bad person. I'm depressed, I'm never not going to be depressed, and I've never not met a good person that wasn't somewhat depressed, or facing some kind of struggle in their life. I'm just stating that it's hard to to tell other people it's going to be okay, and mean it, when you're hiding your own cuts right under your sleeve. I want to be able to look someone in the eye and say, "You're gonna be just fine," and mean it. I want to believe it. And I won't be able to start believing that if I don't start trying to make myself fine, to make myself okay.
I don't want to get better, but I am.
I'm here for you, if you need it. No matter the situation, no matter your age, no matter your race, no matter your sexuality, no matter your background or family. No matter what I am here, and I'll always be here, and if you really need me but you don't want to talk here, my email that I check most is questionauthority@aol.com. I'm on Tumblr, and I'm there more often than not, and my URL is sufferingtoforgivethelabyrinth. Find me there, and contact me if need be.
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“So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
- Details
- Here for
- Like to help with problems
- Relationship status
- Single and looking
- Sexuality
- Heterosexual/Straight
- Ethnicity
- Caucasian/White
- Education
- Junior High School
- Politics
- Not Involved
- Religion
- I'm unsure at this point
- Zodiac sign
- Aquarius
- Interests
- Hobbies
- Tumblr.
Crying over fictional characters - Music
- The Manchester Orchestra
My Chemical Romance
All Time Low
Lana Del Rey
Marina and the Diamonds
Of Mice and Men
The Smiths
Kansas
We Are The In Crowd
Paramore
Jimmy Eat World
Flyleaf
Panic! At The Disco
Bullet For My Valentine
D.R.U.G.S.
Suicide Silence
Otp
Silverstein
Ed Sheeran
Bon Iver
Go Radio
Tonight Alive
Mumford and Sons
AWOLNATION
Iron and Wine
Birdy
The Darling Buds
Brand New
Stars
The Killers
Of Monsters and Men
You Me At Six
Third Eye Blind
The Pretty Reckless
Modest Mouse
Green Day
Shinedown
Angus and Julia Stone
City and Colour
A Day To Remember
Framing Hanley
Bon Jovi
Bright Eyes
La Dispute
Rise Against
She and Him
The Weepies
Day One
Jon McLaughlin
Elton John
Florence + The Machine
Kissing Cousins
The Lumineers
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
Sick Puppies
Counting Crows
The Black Crowes
Lucia
Fun.
Wheatus
The Tallest Man on Earth
The Mountain Goats
Oasis - Movies
- The Hobbit
The Lord of the Rings
The Avengers
Donnie Darko
Secondhand Lions
Sherlock Holmes
Wristcutters: A Love Story - Television
- Misfits
The Walking Dead
Doctor Who
Supernatural
Skins(UK)
Merlin
American Horror Story - Books
- The Fault In Our Stars by John Green
Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green
Looking For Alaska by John Green
The Mortal Instruments Cassandra Clare
The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare
Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia
Vampire Academy/Bloodlines by Richelle Mead
Delirium by Lauren Oliver
The Host by Stephanie Meyer
Divergent by Veronica Roth
Fallen by Lauren Kate
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
The Immortals by Alyson Noel
Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard - Heroes
- John Green
Cassandra Clare
Gerard Way
The Doctor - Favorite quotes
- "Here's to the kids.
The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party.
Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them.
Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars.
Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool.
Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV...and blame MTV for ruining their life.
Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts.
Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush.
Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night.
Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed.
Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower & didn't feel so alone after doing so.
Here's to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friend(s).
Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses & just don't care.
Here's to the kids who speak their mind.
Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep.
Here's to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do.
Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that.
Here's to the kids.
This one's not for the kids,
who always get what they want,
But for the ones who never had it at all.
It's not for the ones who never got caught,
But for the ones who always try and fall.
This one's for the kids who didnt make it,
We were the kids who never made it.
The Overcast girls and the Underdog Boys.
Not for the kids who had all their joys.
This one's for the kids who never faked it.
We're the kids who didn't make it.
They say "Breaking hearts is what we do best,"
And, "We'll make your heart be ripped of your chest"
The only heart that I broke was mine,
When I got My Hopes up too too high.
We were the kids who didnt make it.
We are the kids who never made it."
― Pete Wentz
“When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“That's the thing about pain...it demands to be felt.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”
― John Green, Lo