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Letter to French Toast (TW - Pet Death)
Posted Yesterday at 08:50 PM by Face Up.
Dear French Toast,
I found you gone on February 13, 2026, and sent you to be cremated that same day. I am excited to have you home with me. I want you to be with me forever. Right now, I’m glad you at least have Pancake’s soul with you so you’re not alone. Tell her hi for me, and that I love her, and that I see both of you again soon.
Your death was different than Pancake’s because I couldn’t say goodbye. I found you and you were already dead, but your body was still warm, so it had to happen sometime between when I left to go to PHP and the time I got home. Did you suffer when you died? Were you scared because I wasn’t there? Did Waffle help guide you to the next phase? You were basically a mother to her. I hope you’re still watching over her and giving her guidance, because she really loved you and treated you like her mother. You would sit next to her and just be calm together. With Pancake, you’d follow her around and bother her to show your love, and she wasn’t happy about it, but she’d tolerate it. The relationship you had with Waffle was different. Did you wait until I was gone on purpose to spare me from seeing you in the stages of dying? I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to say goodbye to you. I didn’t get to tell you how much I love you and hug you and give you kisses behind your ears. I didn’t get to rub your chin, which was always crusty because you were a messy eater. Even though I’m sad that you died alone, I’m not mad at you. You couldn’t help what happened, life just happened. I just wish I could have held you when you went.
Saying goodbye at the vet when you were already gone was also hard. I’m worrying that I didn’t spend enough time talking to you and saying goodbye as I touched your little feet. I don’t think you’re mad at me for that, but I’m sorry.
I just want to say how proud I am of you. I know in the end you died, but you had a lot of health problems stacked up against you and you fought so hard for me. You had respiratory infections so many times, inflamed bullae in your brain, arthritis, and an enlarged heart that kept growing. I’d like to say it just meant it was filled with more love. The vet always told me that with your chronic conditions, I should just let you live as a happy pig because you could die at any time. And you still lived five beautiful years. I hope you were happy with me. I tried my best to take care of you and let you know that you were loved. I’m sorry for the days when I couldn’t give you all the attention you deserved. You took your medicine so well for me and your grandmother, and your nebulizer treatments. You loved your treats and all sorts of food, and being able to get extra spinach. You looked like you were getting better, and I’m sorry that I might have missed something that would’ve saved your life. I’m sorry if I could have done more to keep you in this life. But maybe it’s better that you’re not here so you’re no longer sick or in pain. You don’t deserve to have been kept alive just because it makes me sad that you died. That’s not fair to you.
I put you in your snuggle sack before I handed your body to the vet tech. I don’t think they’ll cremate you with it, but I wanted you to be comfortable while you were waiting for the next steps. I hope it helped a little and it made you a little less afraid to go on your journey to the next phase.
You were so calm and tolerated me petting you and giving you so many kisses. I hope you knew it was because I loved you and wanted to shower you with so much attention. I think you were my soul/heart pig, and that makes a different. Every guinea pig has a different personality, but you were so calm and loving to people. You didn’t mind who held you or interacted with you, but it was even better when they had food in their hands.
I’ll even miss the fact that you would pee on me all the time. I got used to it and was never mad at you for doing it. I knew you did it on purpose because you would back your little butt up to me and start peeing. It’s actually kind of funny that you did it on purpose. I know people say that guinea pigs wouldn’t do something like pee on purpose and that it’s just because they have small bladders, but I truly do think you did it on purpose just because of how it would happen. I wonder if it was your silly way of showing me that you loved me.
If I get another piggy soon, I hope that you (and Pancake) look down on her and show her how to be a top-notch pig. She’ll get some spice from Pancake and the loving side of French Toast. I know every guinea pig is different, but I feel like every guinea pig that came before them teaches them something new and gives them a part of their personality. So, send me someone cool!
Please send me some guidance as well. I need you to share your heart and love with me, even in death. I promise I will feel your vibes.
I’ll miss you always, but thank you for all the time we spent together.
I’ll love you always and forever,
Dez
I found you gone on February 13, 2026, and sent you to be cremated that same day. I am excited to have you home with me. I want you to be with me forever. Right now, I’m glad you at least have Pancake’s soul with you so you’re not alone. Tell her hi for me, and that I love her, and that I see both of you again soon.
Your death was different than Pancake’s because I couldn’t say goodbye. I found you and you were already dead, but your body was still warm, so it had to happen sometime between when I left to go to PHP and the time I got home. Did you suffer when you died? Were you scared because I wasn’t there? Did Waffle help guide you to the next phase? You were basically a mother to her. I hope you’re still watching over her and giving her guidance, because she really loved you and treated you like her mother. You would sit next to her and just be calm together. With Pancake, you’d follow her around and bother her to show your love, and she wasn’t happy about it, but she’d tolerate it. The relationship you had with Waffle was different. Did you wait until I was gone on purpose to spare me from seeing you in the stages of dying? I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to say goodbye to you. I didn’t get to tell you how much I love you and hug you and give you kisses behind your ears. I didn’t get to rub your chin, which was always crusty because you were a messy eater. Even though I’m sad that you died alone, I’m not mad at you. You couldn’t help what happened, life just happened. I just wish I could have held you when you went.
Saying goodbye at the vet when you were already gone was also hard. I’m worrying that I didn’t spend enough time talking to you and saying goodbye as I touched your little feet. I don’t think you’re mad at me for that, but I’m sorry.
I just want to say how proud I am of you. I know in the end you died, but you had a lot of health problems stacked up against you and you fought so hard for me. You had respiratory infections so many times, inflamed bullae in your brain, arthritis, and an enlarged heart that kept growing. I’d like to say it just meant it was filled with more love. The vet always told me that with your chronic conditions, I should just let you live as a happy pig because you could die at any time. And you still lived five beautiful years. I hope you were happy with me. I tried my best to take care of you and let you know that you were loved. I’m sorry for the days when I couldn’t give you all the attention you deserved. You took your medicine so well for me and your grandmother, and your nebulizer treatments. You loved your treats and all sorts of food, and being able to get extra spinach. You looked like you were getting better, and I’m sorry that I might have missed something that would’ve saved your life. I’m sorry if I could have done more to keep you in this life. But maybe it’s better that you’re not here so you’re no longer sick or in pain. You don’t deserve to have been kept alive just because it makes me sad that you died. That’s not fair to you.
I put you in your snuggle sack before I handed your body to the vet tech. I don’t think they’ll cremate you with it, but I wanted you to be comfortable while you were waiting for the next steps. I hope it helped a little and it made you a little less afraid to go on your journey to the next phase.
You were so calm and tolerated me petting you and giving you so many kisses. I hope you knew it was because I loved you and wanted to shower you with so much attention. I think you were my soul/heart pig, and that makes a different. Every guinea pig has a different personality, but you were so calm and loving to people. You didn’t mind who held you or interacted with you, but it was even better when they had food in their hands.
I’ll even miss the fact that you would pee on me all the time. I got used to it and was never mad at you for doing it. I knew you did it on purpose because you would back your little butt up to me and start peeing. It’s actually kind of funny that you did it on purpose. I know people say that guinea pigs wouldn’t do something like pee on purpose and that it’s just because they have small bladders, but I truly do think you did it on purpose just because of how it would happen. I wonder if it was your silly way of showing me that you loved me.
If I get another piggy soon, I hope that you (and Pancake) look down on her and show her how to be a top-notch pig. She’ll get some spice from Pancake and the loving side of French Toast. I know every guinea pig is different, but I feel like every guinea pig that came before them teaches them something new and gives them a part of their personality. So, send me someone cool!
Please send me some guidance as well. I need you to share your heart and love with me, even in death. I promise I will feel your vibes.
I’ll miss you always, but thank you for all the time we spent together.
I’ll love you always and forever,
Dez
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