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My sister just came home from a child and adolescent ward, i understand that she is sick and blah blah fucking blah, but what about me? No one notices the quiet one, the one who doesnt speak up, well not anymore. I love my sister so much but she takes all the attention i used to open up to my parebts i was getting better but now im back the same as i was before i cant do this my parents keep moving my psych appointments like i dont need them. My parents think im happy getting better trying hard. But honestly, im always angry over small things, wanting to cry all the time im cutting and im off my tablets, I just want to die, all i see is suicide for my future these days, ive been planning.. but i dont want to die i want to get better, but im honestly done 6 years of depression is to much. I dont care for life anymore, if i did i wouldnt have ended up with a bath tub full.off blood and a tin full of pills stashed for when.im ready
You may not want me, but you still have my heart.
We hide from the
mirror They might show our
scars And there is a
Reflection that we want
to beThe people we
are Find your reflection
Smash what you see
And let's restart
can't see our heart.
I'm really sorry things are so difficult for you right now. Please remember that you aren't ever alone. I, and so many other people are here to support you and help you through this
It can be really difficult when a sibling or family member is ill, and takes all of the attention away. Please don't feel bad or guilty for feeling this way- you deserve help too. Is it possible for you to talk to them about all of this? It's true that your sister needs them, but you do too. It might be possible they don't know how much you're struggling right now- especially if they think you're recovering and happy. Could you write them a letter, or have a quick chat with them about all of this? You don't deserve to go through this alone.
As for the self harm, take a look at the Alternatives thread. Try a few of these whenever you have the urge to hurt yourself.
Best of luck! I'm always here if you need anyone. I hope it all turns out right for you!