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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Unhappy Really upset - May 1st 2012, 12:44 AM

I have been feeling very lonely, sad, unloved and worthless. I feel like this because I think that no one cares about me. There has been a lot going on and it's getting hard to handle.
I am getting called mean names by some girls who are supposed to be my friends. I get called a loser, stupid, a loner, ugly, fat, immature, a failure and worthless. They also say that I have no friends and that noone cares about me. I think that everything is all my fault. They also keep saying that everyone hates me and that no one wants me here. They also keep pushing me around and hitting me.
I have really low self esteem and confidence. I think negative and I always put myself down. I don't think that I am good at anything and that I am a failure and ugly and fat.
My parents ignore me. I feel left out and neglected by them because they don't care about me, all they care about are my siblings. I just feel that they get all the attention because they are more loved. I also get pushed around by my friends. They push me into things and hit me. They also say that they wish I never existed. I feel so hurt. I feel like crying and just want someone to care. I really want to cut. Everyone would be happy if I was gone. I just think that if I cut it will take all the pain away. No one cares. Every time I try talking to someone they push me away and don't want to listen. I have no one. All I want is for someone to listen to me and not push me away. Cutting is my only option. I am going through so much and it's all very overwhelming.

I was also sexually assaulted and I am soooo scared of this person but no one cares.
I was alone in a room and he came over to me and sat right beside me and then he started touching me in bad places and I told him to stop but he wouldn't. After that happened he told me that I have to do everything he says or he will hurt me. So he made me touch him in bad places. After that he took off my clothes and he started touching me again. He wouldn't stop. After that he pushed me down and got on top of me and started to have sex with me, this lasted a while. He then took pictures of me and had sex with me again. I tryed stopping him but he wouldn't stop. He kept telling me that it's all my fault and that if I tell anyone he will hurt me. I am so scared and I think it's all my fault. He also said that no one would care if I told them.
I am very overwhelmed this is all way too much to handle on my own and I am scared. I think everything's all my fault and that cutting would make everything all better by taking the pain away. I want everything to end. No one wants me here anymore. No one wants me here!! All I want is for someone to listen and to not feel alone.


“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
― Taylor Swift
   
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Re: Really upset - May 1st 2012, 07:44 AM

Omg I so sorry for what you have been throught. You have to tell someone about the guy who did those horrible things to you. Tell anyone u trust, ik it's scary. I'm not best person for advise of be abused but u have to tell someone or else it won't stop. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to. I'll do my absolute best to help.

All the people who said mean things to you are wrong. I put my self down a lot and think some of same things. I bet if those people go to know u they would find out ur a really nice girl. You are not ugly or a loser, Ur pretty and awesome

If you ever need someone to talk to PM me. I'll do my best to help
   
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Re: Really upset - May 2nd 2012, 12:13 AM

alex is right you need to tell someone and they will care.

dont cut your self you deserve more. you are not worthless. you are beautiful and special. i know its hard but love your self and dont cut.

i am sorry that people treet you like that they are rong to do so.

you can pm me any time


Speak softly and carry a big stick
   
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i'm sad to the core core core♥
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Re: Really upset - May 2nd 2012, 03:13 AM

You should tell someone about what happened, and how you're feeling right now. There is definitely someone out there who would believe you and listen to you and care about you, and if you find someone to talk to, I think you'll feel a lot better. School counselor, psychologist, family friend, teacher...there's definitely someone out there who is going to care about what's going on with you right now and try to help you. And there are always a ton of people on here willing to talk to you (including me. By the way, I love Taylor Swift too).

You are definitely not any of the things that the negative people in your life are saying, and I feel so bad that they are saying that stuff to you. Just try to find someone either on here or that you know in person who will be willing to listen to you, because you truly are a great person and you deserve people in your life that tell you that.


would it be so hard to realign a star or two?
   
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Re: Really upset - May 3rd 2012, 06:09 PM

Oh my god! im so sorry that you had to go through all of that. im here for you, if you ever need somebody to talk to. Im going through the whole bullying thing as well. so i honestly understand. i told a teacher, and it all got sorted, they were never to do it again. As for that man, you must report it. you HAVE to tell somebody. you cant keep things like this to yourself. Cutting is not a good way out, trust me i started cutting a long time ago, when this bullying thing happened. and now its become my way of coping. It's horrible and a really bad addiction. Please dont, its really hard to give up when you start. Just remember there are people out there that care, even if it may not seem like it. There always there. Im here too if you ever need anyone to talk to.

Take Care

Aisha

xx
   
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