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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy What can I say? - May 9th 2012, 12:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been suicidal, I'll admit it. But I guess this thread isn't for me. I have a few friends who are going through some really hard times right now. Its starting to really scare me, because I feel sometimes like I started the long line of self harmers and depressed people. I mean, I did it first this year, and now about 5 other girls have done it.
But back to the suicide thinger, a couple girls are having an extremely hard time. They trust me with their problems, and I'm always the one that has to help them best I can. But I don't feel like I'm helping at all.
One girl was going out with a guy, he broke up with her and broke her heart, then recently told her that he liked her again, and then today told her that he doesn't know why he ever said that, because its not true. Shes. So. Broken. What can I say to her?
The otehr girl hates herself, plain and simple. She says that she is called fat and her parents apparently hate her. She won't eat. She hurts herself. She really doesn't know why she's even alive. What can I say to her?
Finally, the last girl hates living as herself. She wishes she was any other girl. She envies other girls, especially her close friends and female celebrities. She's hurt herself a lot and she only wants to be perfect for those she cares about most. She never feels good enough, though. What can I say to her?
Please help, someone. I feel like I could do more for them. I don't want any of them to leave me. Please. Is there anything I can say to any of the three girls?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What can I say? - May 9th 2012, 04:01 AM

There are probably several ways that you could go about doing this (there is no right answer) but this is what I would probably do and say if I were in your position. Of course, you yourself will have to decide what you do and say in the end. Hope this helps!

There could be multiples actions to take for the first girl depending on your relationship with her, the exact situation, her personality, etc. However, as a basic overview, I would tell her how important she is to me and that she is a wonderful person who attracts the attention of everyone around her (as in she is an awesome person). I would also add something about how there are billions of fish in the sea and that one is destined for her. "He," being the guy you mentioned, just isn't "the one" whom she is meant to be with.

For the second girl, again, I would tell her how important she is to me, how much I love her, how absolutely amazing she is, and how much I want her to continue to be by my side (depending on how I feel at the moment, I may include the comment that I don't want her to die or to hurt herself because she is so important to me). I would remind her of some of our most treasured memories and how much fun we have had in the past. I would tell her that I love her, that she is one of the most beautiful people I know (both inside and out), and that she is here for a reason. Help her find it.

For the last girl, I would grab her by the shoulders, make her look me in the eyes, and tell her that I love her. I would tell her that she is beautiful, that I love her, and that she is one of the most amazing people I know. I would also probably add something about how much I admire her about *insert subject here.*

Regardless of what you choose to do, please be sure to let the three of them know that you are here for them, as you have been, and that you will do anything for them. Tell them that you are always willing to talk, even if it is at 3 am and you have to go outside to prevent your parents from waking up when they call you (this has happened to me. It was the call that decided my friend's fate. I did the above things mentioned for the thrid girl and she is still with me today )

Good luck!


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Message me if you need to talk. I may not always have the best advice, but I'm always willing to listen.
Aim for the moon for if you fall, you will land amoungst the stars.
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 9th 2012, 04:38 PM

It's great that you're taking this on yourself even though you too are going through problems... but often it can be to much. I'm not advising you to stop helping them, but perhaps if someone else were to know about their problems, if they had other peoplpe to talk to, it'd help.
As for what you can do... you need to be strong, you need to hold on... at least for them. And no matter what happens, remember that someone needs, or will need you! Remind all 3 girls, and yourself, what you have to live for, all that is good, and that all problems are temporary.
As for relationships.... they're gonna be hard, but you have to push through, that person is obviously a jerk and she deserves better, someday, a nice, sweet guy will be hers, and accept her perfectly for who she is. Boo to the jerks, she doesn't need to put up with them. Just show her that there's more then just him in the world, and he's not deserving of her in the first place.
For the one who struggles with self-esteem.... well I know what thats like. I suggest you complament her alot, and tell her how pretty she is. Encourage her to smile, espcially when she looks in the mirror. She is PERFECT the way she looks, and someone will except her for who she is, like her friends. The truest beauty lives inside of people too, so never let anyone get down because they hate their looks! And NEVER take judgement from other people, they don't rule her life, and there is a future for her, past all the bullies and her parents... she can leave them all FAR behind, and bloom into the wonders of the world!

And for the final girl you mentioned... well it's very important to show her worth as an indidual, created beautifully and that she can be whoever she wants to, by being herself! How happy would she really be if she lived in someone else's shoes? Oh, yes, let's be pretty and get every guys attention.... do you know what really happens behind that mask? A girl who gets attention from her looks, cries because no one likes her for who she is, she's just disposable when the guy finds a "10" instead of the old "9" she is.... *sighs* It's stupid that the world goes like this, but you can't find happiness in someone else's shoes, you can't find them in make up and attention. She will suffer with this problem for a long while I'm sure, just make it known to her how much SHE is worth as an individual, and that SHE is a wonderful person, that is above all who she envys. Because she can act like them, and cake herself in makeup and expensive clothes, but they could NEVER be her, a unique, one of a kind, wonderous girl!

It'll be hard to take on their problems, but don't be discouraged, be sure to help them all as much as you can, no matter if it seems like it's not working... because it'll make a diffrence, and slowly, but surely, you'll help them get out of the fog that they're in. I truely know you can make a diffrence! I pray that you and your friends may all heal from this curse. ♥


If you ever need it, I'm here to help, talk, or whatever! ~~Kyle
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Re: What can I say? - May 9th 2012, 11:32 PM

thank you a lot. I just can't bear to lose them
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 10th 2012, 01:41 PM

I know, I've become scared so much, because of coming so close to losing people that I care dearly about. Just remember this too, because this is how others feel when YOU are at the edge to. ♥ It'll be ok, just keep supporting them.... and yourself.


If you ever need it, I'm here to help, talk, or whatever! ~~Kyle
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Re: What can I say? - May 12th 2012, 12:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kmn483 View Post
I know, I've become scared so much, because of coming so close to losing people that I care dearly about. Just remember this too, because this is how others feel when YOU are at the edge to. ♥ It'll be ok, just keep supporting them.... and yourself.
you caught on....wow
the last girl of the three....she's me....
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 12th 2012, 12:55 AM

I have the same problems...with others and myself as well. I always try to be there for them and be there to support them and try to support myself as well. PM if you ever need anything(: stay strong
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 12th 2012, 07:59 PM

thank you :')
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 14th 2012, 01:31 PM

It'll be ok, you always have people here for you! Keep your head up, and keep strong. All will be alright.


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Re: What can I say? - May 14th 2012, 11:03 PM

again...thank you :') last night I almost....yeah....
i had to have 3 people talk me out of it. I guess...I'm lucky to have people who...who care...
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 15th 2012, 12:40 AM

Of course, everyone here, and I'm sure your friends, are here for you! You'll be ok, you're in good hands.


If you ever need it, I'm here to help, talk, or whatever! ~~Kyle
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Re: What can I say? - May 15th 2012, 12:56 AM

again, like I say (alot), Thank you for understanding :') it means alot....
   
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Re: What can I say? - May 15th 2012, 01:41 PM

Of course! Sorry, I guess I'm being repetitive too. xD How about we chat sometime?


If you ever need it, I'm here to help, talk, or whatever! ~~Kyle
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Re: What can I say? - May 15th 2012, 10:41 PM

Totally
   
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