TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Michayla123 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Michayla123's Avatar
 
Name: Michayla
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio.

Posts: 31
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: May 18th 2012

Post I could really use some help. - May 18th 2012, 05:36 PM

My name is Michayla. I have very bad depression... I was 2 years old when I was diagnosed. My mom beat me and my little brothers my whole life... When my dad left me and my pregnant mother, she didn't have a job, I was 2, so we lived with a different relative every other month... We finally got a place for me, my mom and my little brother. We lived there for 3 years. It was an apartment complex. My dad moved in next door, him and my mom faught alot, so I wasn't allowed outside so I couldn't see him. He got angry and told the apartment manager a bunch of lies and we got kicked out. I was in 1st grade... I started at a new school, but CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved. I started 2nd grade. One day, the bus driver didn't drop me off at home... They took me straight to CPS. I got driven back to my house to grab some clothes. I was "Not coming back for a while." was what they told me. I was put in foster care for about 2 weeks, because none of family wanted to take me. I was only in there for 2 weeks, I actually started to like it. Second grade went on fine after that. Then came third grade. My mom had a new boyfriend. In the middle of 3rd grade we moved in with him. New school. It ws fine for a year. I hung out with everyone. I was the "prettiest most popular girl there." I didn't like all the attention. In fourth grade it got weird. I started to get left alone with my mom's fience alone... He got mad when I didn't call him dad. So he threatened to kill my little brother if I didn't call him dad and tell him I loved him. So I started to. Then it got worse. "Don't worry honey. It's okay. all daddy's do this to their little girl, its natural. Just calm down and let me do this." He molested me. It was a daily thing. I did not like it... That lasted for a year and a half, everyday. The summer after 4th grade was horrible. My grandma died of breast cancer... But at her funeral I met someone, my sister. My half sister. I have never met her before then. We started hanging out. We got along great. Then we finally moved. I was in 5th grade. I was a cheerleader for my old school. What I did not expect was for him to still come over and see me. Sometimes all day, sometimes for a whole weekend... But he always did the same thing. A month into me new school was horrible. I had a boyfriend I didnt mention. Whatever you wanna call a boyfriend you got in kindergarden. We dated for 5 years... On our 5-year anniversary I got horrible news. He was on his way to my hosue. He got in a car accident. He unbuckled his seatbelt to save his baby brothers life. (6 months old.) I met them at the hospital. I got to talk to him before he went in for surgery. "Michayla, I love you so much. No matter what happens. I want to be with you forever." He pulled out a ring and gave it to me. I just shook my head yes. I kissed him, for the last time. They took him away, he screamed down the hallway, to me, his mom, dad and his little brother, "I love you guys!" I never heard his voice again... I didn't go to the funeral, and I still have that ring. He was my first love. I finished out middle school and barely managed to push everything away. No one knew that I was hurting inside... I finished my last year of elementary school. Then I started middle school in 6th. I still seen him still... We moved again in the middle of 6th grade. I stayed at the same school. Drama started. But I just ignored it. I started to get really stressed out. I started drinking and smoking alot. To where when I came to school like that, people thought it was just my personality. 7th grade was weird. My mom had a one night stand witha random dude, and had a kid, my baby brother. I love him sooo much. I treat him like my own kid. I also got my next boyfriend... He dumped me after a month. 7th grade went on fine... The summer after was worse. I fell in love again. It lasted for a few months. He dumped me. What he didn't know was that while I was dating him, I was raped. And that I was pregnant. But I never had to tell him because after 2 months I had a miscarriage. 8th grade was confusing. I had ALOT of different boyfriends. I barely knew any of them. But I like the attention and love from a guy. I got pregnant again and again, a miscariage. I found out, that because I have very bad depression... I can get pregnant, but I will miscarry. Still, that summer was stupid, more boyfriends... 9th grade. High school. My breaking point. I tried suicide, but it was worse then any other time. (I lost count of how many times.) 40-50 pills. i was sent to a mental hospital. I was there for 3 weeks. It just made it all worse. When I got out, everyone had all kinds of rumors about me... So my mom got sick of me and sent me to live with my grandparents, I was happy out there. I mean, I loved it. I loved the people and I loved being in the country... Then my mom decided that she wanted to take me back cuz I was "too happy." So, its been three weeks. Her new new boyfriend lives here now and she is pregnant agian... This is the end of my story for now... Sorry it was so long. I just need some positive support.


Keep your eyes wide open... To the posibilities<3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
minniemouseprincess's Avatar
 
Name: Julia
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Disney World=)

Posts: 1,015
Join Date: December 17th 2010

Re: I could really use some help. - May 18th 2012, 11:56 PM

I'm sorry=( You have def. been through a lot, more than anyone ever should in a lifetime. I know people who have experienced pretty much everything you've mentioned. My grandpa was abused by his father. His father would beat him and his brothers and sister. He would make them work around the property and he did not allow them to go to school. My grandpa was the oldest so he took care of everyone, but eventually decided at around your age, that he could not do it anymore and joined the military. My mother told me a year ago for the first time that she was molested during childhood by her uncle. He never did anything REALLY bad, but you know. It still effected her very much and she does not tell many people at all. I think she tries to forget it which is totally understandable. The thing is though, even though you've been through this as she has, she has made it through. She's 56 now. She's still living her life and getting through each day. She didn't give up. You can do the very same thing she can. If she can do it, so can you. As for 2 other things you mentioned, my grandmother suffered MANY countless miscarries and I also have a friend who has tried to commit suicide. You are not alone with any of this. These things happen to at least someone everyday. They are terrible things, Things I wish people didn't have to experience. But I really want you to know that you have the power to keep going. You should not only for yourself, but for the people that love you and who you love as well. When my friend told me she wanted to kill herself, I was devastated. I was going to tell the school councelor in hopes that she would get some help. I was so panicky in the morning that I bursted out crying at home and told my mom "She's going to kill herself! Kellie is going to kill herself!" I could not stop crying. The worst thing you could ever do to someone is to leave them behind. The people that love you, they need you. They would never forget it if you were to be gone. Nobody can forget that or recover from it. Happiness can be obtained a little more everyday. You just have to look for it. It could be anything from getting to hang out with your friends to having ice cream one night. Something good no matter how small happens everyday. I promise you, someday you will be happy again. But the only one that can make you happy or make you better is yourself. Nobody else. People can help and give advise, but you need to be the one to decide to take it and apply it. You're strong though, I def. know you are after hearing your story. You've made it this far, you can make it for the rest of your life. Feel free to PM me whenever you need to talk.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Michayla123 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Michayla123's Avatar
 
Name: Michayla
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio.

Posts: 31
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: May 18th 2012

Re: I could really use some help. - May 19th 2012, 03:47 PM

Thank you. That truely really did help. I mean, I try not to think about my life compared to other people. Because I know what it feels like, and I really don't think that it should happen to other people either. I think I should listen to you, and I try, everyday. Somedays are good, but I rarely see them. The only worse part is that you mentioned all the people that love me, and I don't have anybody. I keep bouncing around my family members because no body wants to take care of me. I have no friends because I do online schooling and I barely ever meet new people. The people I hang out with are the people I live by. And I do not really consider them friends. Most are 17 or older and less mature then I am. The only friend I really have is Tyler, he isnt around much because he has a child and he is at the mothers house all the time. I am gonna try and stay positive, because even though those people don't love me, I love them more then anything. Expecially my baby brother. He is three, and I have raised him more then my mother has. He calls me mommy... I can't file to get emansipated untill I turn 16, so I have to wait a year. And I will try and file for cutody of my little brother. Wish me luck. Thank you for replying and dealing with all my long messages...


Keep your eyes wide open... To the posibilities<3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Chuuya Offline
I hate milk.
I can't get enough
*********
 
Chuuya's Avatar
 
Name: Lauren
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Here. Where else?

Posts: 2,082
Blog Entries: 207
Join Date: June 29th 2011

Re: I could really use some help. - May 20th 2012, 08:01 PM

Hey,

I'm really sorry about everything that happened, and I'm really glad you came here and told your story. I think there's people who love you, like your little brother for instance I bet he loves you more than anything, I hope everything gets better for you. And I wish you luck with your little brother too

Stay strong, and stay positive, it'll be okay. Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Michayla123 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Michayla123's Avatar
 
Name: Michayla
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio.

Posts: 31
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: May 18th 2012

Re: I could really use some help. - May 20th 2012, 10:45 PM

I will. Thank you. Ha ha. I just needed to get it all out.


Keep your eyes wide open... To the posibilities<3
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
boyfriends, cancer, cps, drinking, long story, miscarriage, rape, smoking, suicide attempt

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.