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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 05:23 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i miss him so bad. i cry every night missing him. the tears leave me breathless and shaking. i have never wanted or needed someone as i need him. the stupid songs we sang run through my head as i stare at a picture of him. the urge to cut my heart out ripples through me and i fall to my knees. i grip the blade tighter as the feeling that he's gone forever rushes through my soul. i believe he is gone forever. lost to me forever more. i was told i needed to write these feelings down so i'm trying to. i need someone to talk to me. James I Miss You. Where Are You When I Need You? i want to die.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 09:49 AM

Hey there,

I definitely agree that writing this out is a good thing! Getting out these feelings is a way for you to slowly work on healing from the hurt you are experiencing. It might not feel as though it has helped but give yourself time and don't hesitate to continue sharing in the forums or in the blogs.

I know that life can be hard but remember it gets better so please hang in there and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 10:55 AM

i just don't know what to do anymore. i need him like i need air to breathe. i need him like the flowers need the sun and air and water to live. i need him to hold me. or maybe he needed me. maybe he needed me to understand everything he was going through. and i was too selfish. too needy. to see it. i dreamt of him a few months ago. they say that if u dream of someone they went to bed thinking of u. maybe he died thinking of me. i want to die. i didn't save him. i should have saved him. i'm a terrible person. i deserve to die.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 10:57 AM

it doesn't ever get better. not a pain like this. it'll never get better. my grandma died 2 years ago. i haven't gotten over that. my grandfather died 10 years ago. i haven't gotten over that. i don't get over things like these easily. its not something i'm capable of.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 02:51 PM

I've been through al
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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 02:52 PM

[quote=Tori_M.;902682]I've been through all of thid pain, hang in there...i promise everything will get better.
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Re: missing him so bad - June 22nd 2012, 05:57 PM

No you don't deserve to die. You love him and you was there for him. Your going through sad moments and that is very hard to forget them and move on. You deserve to be happy of what you have been through. Do you want to talk to me on PM or on my profile i'm here for you. If you want to talk more about james, grandma, grandad i'll be happy to listen and give advice to you. If you don't want advice i can listen. How did james died? People can save their loved ones as best as they can but sometimes they can't because it's in a stage where it's really bad and theres nothing they can do about it. It depends on whats wrong with the person and how bad it is. You can always talk to me about james.
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 23rd 2012, 05:21 PM

he killed himself. i don't know. no one will tell me anything about it. i live like 5 states away from him at the time





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 24th 2012, 02:45 PM

Even if he did commint suicide you didn't know what he was going to do to himself and you didn't know that he is going to die. Your being to hard on yourself. None of this is your fault. If you was there with him everyone knows you would save him and do anything for him because you love him. It's very upsetting that you lost your family and james. is james your friend or boyfriend?
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 24th 2012, 08:03 PM

boyfriend/fiance. i was supposed to move in with him when i finished high school. we had it all planned out. then he did this. my sunshine is gone.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 24th 2012, 11:49 PM

Something happens for a reason and there must be a reason of why he died anything could happened to him and there's always a reason. Did his parents told you how he died? you are entitle to know because you are his girlfriend.
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 25th 2012, 04:30 AM

i haven't been in touch with them in a few months. i heard about it through one of his friends. i'm trying to give them some space to come to grips with this without me interfering





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 25th 2012, 04:12 PM

I'm sure his friends would like you to be there with them because they all lost a very good friend.
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 25th 2012, 09:29 PM

yeah but i have no way to get there to be with them. i'm only 17. i don't have a car. or a job. or money. if i did i would already be there with them.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 27th 2012, 04:14 PM

Sorry for not understanding but what's the job, money, car got to do with being with your boyfriends friends? I meant like be with them so you can all support each other and help each other get through this sad event and try make them happy and they can make you happy too so that you all got each other.
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 28th 2012, 08:15 PM

i mean like so i can fly up there and be with them in the flesh so they can see that they arent alone in missing him





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - June 29th 2012, 01:30 AM

I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now... And to think I am upset over a break up... Bless your heart darling, hang in there for now and try giving his friends and family a call, maybe they could come over to you or you could just get in contact somehow through phone, social networking or email, something surely? xx
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 3rd 2012, 06:02 AM

yeah thanks imogen. it gets a little easier to breathe everyday. but every night i cry myself to sleep.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 3rd 2012, 09:29 PM

Can you get a taxi?
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 5th 2012, 04:48 AM

don't have the money. again. i'm broke as fuck. so are my parents and all my friends.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 9th 2012, 03:38 AM

the feeling comes swiftly and unbidden that without him, my sunshine, i am lost. i don't see the light anymore. everything is a mystery. my reason to roll out of bed in the morning. my reason to smile. all i want is to be with him. that is all i've ever wanted. and now i've lost that





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 19th 2012, 09:01 AM

I'm very sorry for the late reply.

The only thing you can do is just go through the grief and if you been grieving for a long time now you should try and keep yourself busy. Let life show you what it has got to offer. I'm not trying to get you to forget him completely but just for awhile so you can be happy and still carry on life. When someone dies we all can't forget someone who is close to us but we can move on and accept it because if you think about your boyfriend all the time and can't accept hes gone then your going to be miserable.
   
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Re: missing him so bad - July 27th 2012, 10:43 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=m-Xpt1SxDJw
God gave me him. then he left me. i regret all the fights, all the times i hurt him, all the tears i made him cry, the times i said i hated him when all i really ever wanted to do was love him. I love him. he still has my heart. he always will.





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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