HELP PLEASE

[Sometimesiamnotokay]

I have a horrible self harming problem and I use it as sorta something to stop suicide. if anyone knows things to do other then self harm. please. someone tell me...

[SamTurtle]

There are hundreds of things to do besides self-harm, when you really think about it. Something as simple as keeping a journal and writing things down daily can really help people. I just recently got a journal (it's got Batman on it too, so it's extra awesome), and I've been recording daily events and feelings, etc.

Journaling might not be your thing though, which is totally fine. It's all about finding other things to keep your interest when you're having urges to self-harm, and working out a better way to release your stress/anger/fear/anguish/hatred/whatever it is you're facing (or maybe a combination of any of those). You just want to keep hope and know that you truly matter to other people because, as it was in my case with self-harm, I always felt so alone. Even when I was in a crowd of people, I just felt completely on my own and without love or help. Of course, that was not the case at all. There were plenty of people by my side to help me, they just didn't even know I needed help because I bottled my emotions up inside (which was a serious no-no; bottling up your emotions only results in you exploding, aka. self-harm).

Other things to help you cope:

Music can be very therapeutic, as well as exercising and choosing a better diet for yourself (but not starving yourself). Listen to some sad or angry songs to vent the emotions out of your system (and even realize that you're not alone in your feelings) and then move on to something more happy or upbeat so that you move on from your negative feelings instead of wallowing in them. Surrounding yourself with pictures and colors of things that bring you peace or happiness can also make a huge change. I keep Lady Gaga as my phone background because she inspires me and gives me confidence in myself. Whenever I'm feeling something like the fear of being rejected, just seeing her face encourages me to strive forward. Because then I think, "So what if I'm rejected? It's not going to kill me if one person doesn't feel like talking to me. Because there are way more people who do want to talk to me."

Also, finding the source for all of your negative thoughts and diminishing it can help too. If you find yourself wanting to harm yourself and thinking negative thoughts about yourself or your circumstances, take a couple of minutes to step back and think about your thoughts, as my counselor has instructed me. Finding the true source to all this negativity can really reveal a lot. As an example, I often hated myself for my body and weight, my face, etc. I'd stare at myself in the mirror and completely diminish my confidence by nitpicking and hating small details such as my nose or eyebrows, whatever. But, when I really thought about why I hated myself, I realized this - I didn't even really despise my nose or my eyebrows. Really, I thought they were very unique and (dare I say it!) beautiful. I had only believed I was ugly because I was just feeling depressed or sad about someone thinking that I wasn't pretty (which wasn't true), or even something silly like hearing a sad story on the news, and it completely skewed my view of myself. Be wary of stuff like that. It's something that I still struggle with, but I've gotten much, much better.

Find activities that will keep you active or social. Do you have to be around people all the time? Certainly not. I like having a few hours of the day by myself, because I'm quite an introvert. But you could even read a book, cook, dance to music, play video games, go for a walk, draw, look at nature, or play with your pet if you have one. There's always something to do besides self-harm. If you're feeling upset, are you going to want to dance to some music? Probably not. But once you start, you'll find that it really helps. At least, it does in my case. It's even better if someone is dancing with you.

A counselor is also a good idea. Even though it may seem scary to bring your problems to someone you don't even know and have them "pick at your brain," it really and truly does help. Because they can tell you so much more than I already have, and explain it better, too. xD It's always something to consider. If you can't find a counselor or afford one or something like that, a close friend would be a second choice. Just be very careful in who you trust, because I was a bit reckless with my secrets and ended up getting hurt because of it. Just don't be stupid like I was, haha. But it's always nice to have someone to talk to and vent to if a journal, a pet, or a song won't simply do.

I'm sorry for rambling, but I do want to help you in your struggles, as I've been there too. Lo and behold, I'm self-harm free and happy as can be. So just know that there's always a way to overcome, even though it might not seem like there is. Never give up. Sometimes you might slip and fall, but that's no reason to never get back up. Besides, in a year's time or less, you could be in my position: helping other people who feel what you once did. C:

[Glitter Skies]

Hey there,

It's great that you've decided to reach out to us. I'd suggest taking a look at our Self Harm Alternatives Thread for alternative ways to deal with self harm other than hurting yourself. If you try one and it doesn't help, keep trying different kinds of alternatives and hopefully there will be one which works best for you. There are so many things out there you could try to beat the urges of self harm but it's just about finding the thing(s) which are most helpful to you. It may also be beneficial for you to talk to somebody about how you've been feeling and rather than bottling up your feelings you could talk about it with somebody. Maybe you could try out some counselling? If you've got somebody close to you such as a family member or friend then maybe you could confide in them and try talking to them about these things too? You don't have to go through any of this alone which is why it is important to have somebody there to talk to and to help you when times are tough.

I hope things get better for you. Keep strong,
Lex

[The.adorable.1]

Well, i write my feelings. I know its something "people that think they know bout self harm but dont" say, but it really helps me