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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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cuttergirl17 Offline
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Idk what to do... - July 15th 2012, 11:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So... Mom found out bout my depression n cutting in April, she brought me to therapy a few times, talking with the counselor didn't help n as far as she was concerned I was completely happy n normal... So she told my mom that... So people thought I was better, now I go day to day faking a smile pretending I'm ok when rlly... I recently started cutting again after not doing it for months... Started thinking bout dying again, just don't know how to do it or am wondering if me stopping myself from doing means I rlly don't want to... Like 5 mins. Ago I tied my earphones around my neck n just pulled super hard...than I came on here...idk what to do anymore, I don't have any reason to live, I'm a worthless person
   
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Re: Idk what to do... - July 16th 2012, 12:36 AM

Thanks for posting on mine, it give perspective. I've never cut, the most I've done is hold a knife to my throat and dream it. I tried killing my liver, my brain, everything.I'm not a therapy person, idk why. You helped me out, so, at least in my book, you're definitely worth something. I'm bottom of the fucking barrel. If you mean something to me, a complete stranger, then to your friends/family/lovers/etc you must mean scores. I know what it is to fake the smile, I tell jokes to hide how insecure I am. Stay on this place a little longer, if you help people then that's a reason and you sure as shit will be able to find more. You hung in for five minutes, you can hang in for ten. Ten to twenty, twenty to thirty, and so on until you have kids of your own. You're worth something, even if I'm not.

PS: Add/inbox/pm/friend/whatever it's called to me, always nice to talk about it
   
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Re: Idk what to do... - July 16th 2012, 03:24 AM

Hey, Amanda! It's obvious that you're having a hard time right now, and I know that that sucks. It's REALLY hard to go through this kind of thing, believe me i know. You're not alone, though.

Communication is vital. I know depression and self-harm are really hard to come clean about, but you've gotta do it. You need to tell your mom that things aren't as good as they seem...
It's extremely difficult, i know. But i think you should try. Because you are a beautiful, strong, intelligent person. I've never met you... I know very little about you. But I think very highly of you! Imagine what those around you think.

I think the best thing for you to do is to try and get back into therapy. Be honest! The only way to heal is through honesty.

I'm ALWAYS here if you need me! I've been there before, and i know what you're going through. PM me anytime!
things will get better.
You should be alive to see that.

xoxo
-Leah<3


I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.

I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.

PeacewithImperfection
   
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Re: Idk what to do... - July 16th 2012, 03:51 AM

Hi there.

I am really sorry that you are going through this right now. I think you have done really well to come to us here at Teenhelp for some help and support.

I want to start by telling you you're not worthless. You are here for a reason and I feel sure in saying that people love and care about you. We, here care about YOU. I am replying to this because I care about you and because I know you are worth it.

Can I ask why you self harm? I know everyone does it for different reasons and I am wondering in what way it helps you? I was also wondering if you are aware of any triggers which cause the urges for you to hurt yourself? I know that in the moment hurting yourself feels logical but you need to remind yourself that it isn't because in the long run it is not going to help but chances are high in my opinion that it could make your situation a lot worse. You're worth a hell of a lot more than the pain you're inflicting upon yourself.

How do you manage the suicidal thoughts? I need you to know that you have so much to live. I know this is really hard for you right now and the way you are feeling and the thoughts you're having are probably really overwhelming, but its not going to be this way forever. You're still young and you have your whole entire life ahead of you and there is so much you have to yet experience. I know its hard but you CAN do this. There is hope.

Now don't be alone. If you need help. Talk to someone, let them in, be honest and allow them to support you and work with them. You don't have to be alone.

Keep your chin up,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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