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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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mew96 Offline
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Unhappy need help.. - July 25th 2012, 08:35 AM

okay well i dont know how or if you guys will ever reply. but i'd like it if you guys did.. we'll just start off with the basics, im 16 and my name is megan. Ive never ever in my life felt this way. like im just useless. no one knows about my depression and how i just want to end my life. thats why im trying to seek help, im done with crying every single night and being so damn tempted to just shoot myself or hang my self. I dont know why i feel this way, or why im depressed. I honestly do not know. Im just unhappy with my life. Ive never had a A in any core classes. Im always letting my mom down. This feeling of depression has been going on for about a year now, and its just gotten worse in the past 5 months. Ive done a LOT of reasearch. and its safe to say, not every 16 year old wants to just end their life. i just want answers. I want to know if im really depressed and if i need help? My older brother went through this when he was my age and he was sent to a mental hospital in highland iliinois. like i said before, no one knows about my feelings. My mom knows i get in bad moods , but she doesnt know the full story. I could have good days and bad days, like today it just started out bad. Im very sensitive, some girl called me all these names oevr facebook for no reason.. she said i should die. I guess thats a sign that maybe i am useless? Why do bad things happen to good people? I just recently acccepted god into my life to see if maybe all i needed was god? I dont know, i cant deal witht his pain and feeling every single day. I think about it every day, just shooting my self. I know no one can have a perfect life, no one will make perfect grades but all i ask is, to not feel like i have let my mom down. I tell myself how stupid i am constantly. and how i shouldnt deserve to live. i just dont want this life anymore. im ready for help, i need advice on how i should confront my mom and her not think im a complete moron. im scared she wont take me seriously or actually freak out because she went through the same thing with my older brother who's now 21. And his life seems to be going just fine. I talk to my bestfriend but it just doesnt help. She thinks i dont really mean it, well one of these days im gonna get fed up and just do it. Thats the problem, im way to tempted and i honestly scare my self.. i scare myself so much that sometimes when i begin to get strong suicidal thoughts i make my self go to sleep. Because i could easily just hang my self. the only thing that is holding me back from doing anything is my family, i dont want to hurt my parents and little brothers and sister and older brother.. but i dont want them to not know whats going on. Its just so funny to me.. my sister looks down on and we fight constantly but everytime something happens and it makes me upset, it pushes me a inch closer to just lashing out on everybody and just ending my life. i stay up to dawn every day and just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, i think ive brainwashed my self into thinking im just crazy. please help.. thanks.
   
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Re: need help.. - July 25th 2012, 09:10 AM

I'm going to be very honest with you here, your post worries me very much and I know it's scary and I've gone trough just about the same thing, I would be happy to help and give you advice but here is my first bit of advice, you really need to get some help besides talking to us on here, we can help as much as we can but we are not professionals we will do what we can but in the end it's our own opinions. I think it was a very smart choice talking to God and if you didn't already know He loves you more than you will ever know, keep praying, ask for answers from him and really look for them, but I highly highly suggest getting some help especially before it gets too bad and because it seems to happen to others in your family. I hope the best for you and if you have anymore questions please feel free to Private message me.
   
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Re: need help.. - July 25th 2012, 10:15 AM

Ik what it's like to feel like ur letting ur family down, that's basically me. I'm depressed always. Talking to someone is good. finding an activity can help a little bit. It won't fix ur depression but it will make part of ur day better. You should talk to someone about ur feeling if ur ready to talk about ur depression.
   
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Re: need help.. - July 25th 2012, 08:47 PM

i'm sorry if it all came out to strong, i just wanted to get everything out and not miss anything. my mom wants to talk to me tonight because she told me that she's noticed a change in my mood. I just feel like all my energy has been drained out of me, i sleep till 2-3 oclock in the afternoon and don't feel like eating, im a small girl and i have lossed about 20 lbs in the past couple of weeks. maybe it is time for help instead of writing in journals to get my feelings down.
   
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Re: need help.. - July 25th 2012, 09:12 PM

I think it's definately a good idea to tell your mum about how you're feeling. Maybe something like seeing a counsellor could help you. It sounds like your mum cares a lot about you and is willing to help you. Getting help is the first step to getting better. Good luck
   
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Re: need help.. - July 25th 2012, 09:28 PM

Hi there,

Firsly I am really glad that you have come to us for some help and support. I know for some people, reaching out to someone can be really hard and it's brilliant that you have been able to do so. I am however, really sorry that things are rough for you right now and that you're feeling this way.

Telling your mum sounds like a good idea. I think the best way is to explain you need to talk to her, sit her down and be honest. Don't worry about sounding like a 'moron' or anything like that because you won't. This isn't something to be taken lightly. Explain how you feel right now and be honest. If you don't feel you can phsyical say it, you can also try writing her a letter and explaining it that way. I know I find writing a hell of a lot easier and it always gets my point across. It helps me to get my thoughts down and it helps people who are supporting me, to know whats going on for me.

I hope that when you are to tell your mum, she'll be supportive and try her best to help you as much as she can. And I am sure that this will be the case. I can understand your worries to her not being like this but you haven't said anything to me which will make me think otherwise. If she were to respond in a negative way, leave it and try again a little late. If you get the same respond, you need to accept that (I hope this is not the case) and reach out for help with out her. Because you do deserve the help and support and you do deserve happiness.

Also, here is a link to some reasons to live ... http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t272-reasons-live/. I think it might help for you to take a look at this and maybe even create your own list. I know the suicidal thoughts can become overwhelming but you CAN beat this and it won't always feel how it feels now. You have a life worth living and you are worth a hell of a lot so don't give in.

I hope things are okay for you. We're always here to help you as much as we can.

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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