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*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Name: Rebecca
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Unhappy Very sad - July 26th 2012, 12:24 AM

I have had many past experiences. When I was young my parents always used to hit me. Usually if one of my siblings did something they would blame it on me and then they would hit me. *This really hurt me deeply because I thought that my parents hated me and that they wish they never had me and that they only had my siblings. I had bruises and a black eye from them. They still hit me now to. I obviously did something for them to do this to me.*

I was also bullied everyday at school by these group of girls. They would call me ugly, fat, a loser, stupid, a loner and they always said that I had no friends and that no one would ever be my friend. Then one day when I went to school these girls became physically violent. They would push me into walls and they would hit me and kick me. I ended up with lots of bruises and getting a black eye. This has happened so long. I felt that I was worthless and that no one wanted me here so I thought that I would self harm myself. This hurt me really deeply.

I have attempted to self harm myself. I couldn't handle any of this anymore. I couldn't handle my parents abusing me and these girls bullying me so I thought that I should give up on life and self harmed.

I have also been sexually assaulted by my uncle. I feel like its my fault. I really want to give up on life. This has been really hurting my emotionally.*

I have also been told by my doctor that I have depression and PTSD. This really hurts me because I think this makes me different.*

I feel that everyone hates me. I really want someone to listen to me and care.*


“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
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Re: Very sad - July 26th 2012, 01:41 AM

Dear Rebecca,
I'm sorry you have been through all that. I can fully understand you being bullied and self-harm. I want you to know that none of this was your fault. I know you are having a hard time right now but it will get better I promise. Please don't hurt yourself or anyone else. Teenhelp is here for you. I'm here for you. It will be ok. Please Stay Strong!!!

Love,
Emily
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Re: Very sad - July 26th 2012, 06:42 AM

Listen, you've had a hard life, and that's not good. That's not okay, and it's not acceptable.

But, hindsight is 20/20. You can't go back and change what's happened to you, so your only other choice is moving on.

The girls at school bullied you, and that was wrong. It was their fault, and theirs alone. Celebrities, students, parents, and teachers are all against bullying, and people from each demographic speak out against it. It wasn't right, but unfortunately we cannot change that now. It's important that you move on from that experience, and use it to help prevent bullying for others.

Your Uncle was wrong, and obviously emotionally sick. What he did was wrong, and unforgivable. But you know that. So why are you internalizing it? You did nothing wrong, you had no reason to be victimized. You didn't make yourself a target for him. Being raped, or molested is like every other crime, you don't start blaming the victim, you blame the criminal.

You have depression and post traumatic stress, and that's hard to deal with. It doesn't make you different. Look at this site. You'll see literally thousands of people going through bullying, sexual abuse, depression, and post traumatic stress. You are never alone, your problems are not unique. You can be helped, and people do know how you're feeling.

Before doing anything drastic, if you're in an emergency situation where you might harm yourself, call 9-1-1. The police will come down, and they will help you. They'll get you whatever you need to get better, just how they'd help someone who's going through any other emergency.

I'm free to PM anytime for anyone who needs me.

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Palmolive Offline
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Re: Very sad - July 26th 2012, 04:00 PM

Hello Rebecca,

Im really glad you've come to us for some help and support. Its good that you feel able to open up to us.

I know we've spoken a lot before about the way your parents have and still do treat you. I want to make one thing very clear; It is not your fault. Nothing in this world can justyfy their reasoning to hurting you the way they do whether thats emotional abuse or physical. You have done nothing to deserve the way they behave towards you. I am sorry you don't get the support you deserve from you parents. If I could change that I would, because you definately deserve their support.

I know we have also spoken a lot about the bullying from your 'friends' at school. Are you still at school and is this still going on? Again, like what I said about your parents, you don't deserve to be bullied and what these girls are doing to you is wrong and unfair. You deserve real friends who treat you with kindess and respect. If this is still going on I suggest you talk to someone at school about it suc as a guidance counselor or a teacher. You don't have to fight this alone.

Now, you're going through a lot with your parents, school and what has happened with your uncle and I think now would be a good time to reach out to someone and tell them whats happening and ho you are feeling. You say you have seen your doctor and I wonder whether you could see them again and tell them about whats going on? They'll be able to help you put a stop to it all as well as provide you with emotional support to help you through this.

We don't hate you here and we're always here to try and support you as best as we can do. I know this is hard but I also know that it can and will get better so don't give up. You can do this and things can start to look up for you. You're worth a lot more than you think.


I hope you are well,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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