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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThundaKat16 Offline
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Name: Lisa Hines
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Reasons why I should keep myself Alive - July 28th 2012, 06:32 AM

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm trapped in a deep dark Abyss of depression.I tried everything i can think of to get out of it but, nothing seems to work . I dont have many friends I have less than 5. I tried making more friends for the past 4 and 1/2 years now but the kids don't seem to like me.I tried doing the things i love and I've been seeing a therapist for 4 years now and nothing seems to work for me . I've been unhappy with my life for a long time and i tried to fix it and that's not helping so I'm starting to give up. I feel like there's no way out. I feel like I don't deserve to live anymore . I guess me being happy and having a rich fulfilling life wasn't meant for me . I really want to end it all but, the only reason why I'm still here is because I don't know where I'm gonna go after i die. Plus already tried 2 before and failed . Anyone's advice will be greatly appreciated .
   
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Re: Reasons why I should keep myself Alive - July 28th 2012, 07:27 AM

first off it's not the amount of friends it's the quality of your friends, that's what matters. you are only 15 you have a wonderful life ahead of you you can make your life what you want it to be if you want it bad enough and I'm not just saying that, it's true. Try this, don't look at everything thats going wrong in your life look at the good and if there is nothing good make something good, it could be anything, just focus on the good things in your life and don't worry about the crapy things that you can't change, you really have more opportunities than you think to have a better life, you just have to find them, hope this helps message me any time
   
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Re: Reasons why I should keep myself Alive - July 28th 2012, 10:07 AM

no one gets it and no one is trying to understand it i shouldn't of went on this site i thought it would help but i was wrong . I see nothing is helping me so i should just end it all
   
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Re: Reasons why I should keep myself Alive - July 28th 2012, 01:07 PM

Hi Lisa. Welcome to TeenHelp!

First of all, please don't kill yourself. I don't know what you're going through and I haven't lived your life so it would be unfair of me to say that I understand. However, I have also been living with depression for 4 or 5 years so I can relate to you about that. It's hard not to be accepted by our peers, and even harder when the friends you have don't seem to care or understand. But that doesn't mean they would want you to leave. It doesn't mean that they wouldn't care if you were gone. Try to look at it from their point of view. If they've never lived with depression, the probably don't understand that it's more than just sadness. They probably don't understand that you can't "just snap out of it" and make it go away. And maybe your friends get frustrated and feel hurt and helpless when they see you hurting so much but don't know what to do to help. If there's something your friends could do to help out, try asking them that favor. If it'll make you feel better-even just a little-they will probably be happy to help.

Please try to keep fighting. I know you may not believe me, but you can hold on and eventually things may start to turn around. You're probably wondering "what if they don't?" Well, how will you know unless you stick around to find out. You made the right choice in coming to TeenHelp. We care about you and will always be here for you. Don't give up yet. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk more (if you don't know how to do this, click on the username, the click "send a private message"). I'm usually on here several times per day, and I'll listen.

Stay strong


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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Re: Reasons why I should keep myself Alive - July 28th 2012, 01:13 PM

Hey Lisa.

I'm sorry to hear that you're not finding TeenHelp, well, helpful, but I'm even more sorry to hear that things are so hard for you right now. Nobody here is going to have a magic cure, and we can't give you an easy fix; but we won't encourage you to give up, and we'll do what we can to help you realise that life is in fact worth living. I may not be able to fully understand what you're going through, but if you try to explain it to me, or to anyone else who replies to this thread, I for one will do my best to listen and help.

To start with, I'd like to link you to the Reasons to Live sticky. Just have a read through it, and see if any of those strike a chord within you. If not, don't worry about it; it's not an exhaustive list, and you're welcome to come up with your own reasons. I'd also like to show you the Hold On (To Hope) sticky, which you might find motivational, inspirational, or useful in some way.

I can definitely relate to feelings of depression, so I understand the kind of feelings and thoughts that can give rise to. It sounds like you're frustrated, and that's understandable; when it seems like nothing's going your way, it can be easy to feel bitter, regretful, resentful, or even like you want to end your life. But it doesn't really sound to me that you want to die - more that you don't want to live the life you've been living. So why not ask yourself: What do I want? What can I do to get that? Set goals, both short-term and long-term, and work to achieve them.

You say you've tried everything you can think of - would you mind elaborating on what that means? Maybe one of us can come up with something you haven't thought of, or something that will help you look at things in a new way. Even if things you've tried haven't worked, it doesn't mean you've failed. You've just found ways that doesn't work, so turn your attention to new ideas and keep trying. I know it's hard, I know it can be discouraging, but eventually you'll find ways that work for you.

As for the friends, I'd agree with Melissa; sometimes it's better to have a few close friends than a lot of ones who aren't that close. Maybe you could try becoming better friends with your existing ones, if making new ones hasn't been working. What kinds of things have you done to try to make new friends? For example, have you joined clubs/groups/societies/teams? Have you asked your friends to introduce you to some of their friends? Have you looked outside of school (given your age, I'm making the assumption that you're in school; apologies if I'm wrong)? There are plenty of people out there you haven't met, plenty of potential friends, so keep looking.

While the past obviously has some influence over the future, the two can sometimes be separate. I mean, just because your past hasn't been great, it doesn't mean your future will be horrible too. And even if things aren't going so well right now, who's to say they won't improve? I believe that it's definitely possible for you to have that happy, fulfilling life you've been dreaming of - as long as you don't give up.

With the therapist, have you told them any of this? Maybe they're not aware of how bad things are for you. If the therapy's not working, try to figure out why that is - is it because you're not opening up? Is it because the therapist isn't right for you? Is it something else? Therapy is supposed to help in situations like this, and if it's not, it's time to re-evaluate it and see what can change so that it will work.

I hope at least some of this has helped. Good luck, take care, and stay safe.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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