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portalislove Offline
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I overdosed and told no one. My heart hurts very easily now - August 10th 2012, 03:50 PM

I overdosed on Sunday..I don't think I had any other way of dealing. Literally no one knows but me, which is actually not comforting at all. They would just get angry with me. I was bed ridden for days and I actually thought I'd die this time. My heart kept speeding up really scary, even if I was completely still. Then go really slow. I slept almost 2 days straight but the bags under my eyes were crazy. I've never been so sick in my life, I could not sit up or talk or do anything but lay.
By Wednesday I could sit up and walk and whatnot..I was still pretty dizzy though. I still am, to a degree. I saw friends that day and I was acting all spacey and weird and awkward. I kept losing my train of thought and I would stare off at nothing.
I'm still so dizzy, I hate that no one knows. Whenever I get sad now, I start breathing very heavily. I kind of am now. I haven't cried for a long time. This is too much. I was in excruciating pain, I remember being exhausted and panting after walking to the bathroom. I wish I could tell someone and not feel like this.
I'm all paranoid now. I keep tripping out. When I was still sick, I kept hearing and seeing things. Not like severely- so. But when it was dark enough, or I was half- asleep, really weird stuff would happen. I was in a park last night after dark, and all the trees were moving. Not to the point where it looked incredibly realistic, they were far away and it was just kind of...disturbing. I would also become nearly paralyzed and not be able to move when I was almost asleep.
This is certainly not the first time I OD'd, but it was the worst. I actually went to the ICU before for one of them and it was probably half as bad. My heart is probably so fucked up right now.
I usually resort to cutting or something, but it was too much this time, I can't do this by myself. I want someone to know, even if I'll never meet them I'm not looking for attention I swear...the only benefit of my overdosing was how much I had to focus on just dealing with the pain and getting better to the point where I was distracted. I remember how much I regret it. Overdosing on aspirin is literally more painful and screwed up than you can comprehend.
   
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Chuuya Offline
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Re: I overdosed and told no one. My heart hurts very easily now - August 10th 2012, 06:07 PM

Hey there,

I am so sorry that you're struggling, but hurting yourself and overdosing isn't a good way to cope with what's been going on. I know it seems like self harm and taking pills is a good idea, but it is never the right choice. I really highly suggest you tell someone you trust and see a professional about what's been going on, especially since you overdosed and it made you sick, so you really need to see a doctor to make sure you will okay.

I know it is tough to deal with certain situations, but you just have to get back up when things go wrong. Instead of hurting yourself you could maybe try some alternatives like doing something you love to do, or talking to a friend or a family member. You could also get on here and talk to us. We're hear to listen, and offer any advice or support we can. Here's a list of alternatives that you could look at as well: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ just go through the list and try out a few, but don't get discouraged if the first few don't help out much. Just keep trying to find a few that work!

I really hope I helped a bit. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me. Good luck and take care!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: I overdosed and told no one. My heart hurts very easily now - August 10th 2012, 11:05 PM

Hey Hun,
I hope your feeling at least a little better, it must have been really hard to go through that alone. I think its great that you had the courage to come on here and tell us about it but I honestly think it would be the best if you could tell someone that you can actually talk to in person. I know that it will be difficult and scary but I believe you can do it, and the sooner you do I promise it will help even if its a little. Im sure your friends and family will support adn be there for you every step of the way, and were all here for you too. Best of luck!
   
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