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canadadry Offline
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I feel trapped in the world. - August 12th 2012, 03:26 AM

It makes me sick to think that I could ever be a part of this world. This place is so corrupt. There are people who are really just so disrespectful and make me feel as if I have no dignity. The fact that there are people who have the power to influence others in such a strong unpleasant way makes me sick. I am a part of a world that holds forces and intentions possessed by people like this. I feel trapped in this world, as if I'm not here by choice. I sometimes think it would be better if I could remove myself from it. I had a drug trip back in May (3 months ago) and in my trip I got "the spins" and saw/felt/experienced something incredible. So real that it felt more real than anything before, I was on the outside looking in. I had been removed from "life", from "the world" and I could see things from an outside point of view. (Kind of like you can be sitting in your room or something and looking at your tv/computer, whatever it is that you're playing video games on, and maybe you've created a character who thinks it is totally real but you can see from an outside point of view that they are clearly not real, and you are controlling them, and you can see the bigger picture around you, such as a bed or windows, a door, whatever else is in your bedroom). Anyways, I feel as if I am the character in the videogame/we are all characters, and I had the chance to experience what the player/controller/owner of said videogame experiences when playing. --An outside view!!! Ever since that trip I have felt like I am trapped, my "world" is like the video game, all simulated, and I just want the chance to experience reality, which does not happen in "life" and the only way to do that would be to die, to escape. Does anyone else feel like that? I mean, I'm not religious by any means, I don't believe in God, but there must be a "higher power" of some sorts because I got to expereince what it's like on their level...It like life is just a small part of whats actually out there. And I'm not saying that i want to kill myself or I'm suicidal and sad and depressed (thought I was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago and have been on medication ever since) but I am saying that if I died I could escape this world of corruptness. I don't think that any occurences in my life are actually real or actually happening, they all seem simulated to me now. I often use the comparison of rats in a maze, it seems that we are all pawns, but only some of us acknowledge it. Now, am I crazy? Or does anyone else feel like this too?
   
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Re: I feel trapped in the world. - August 12th 2012, 09:47 PM

I think you're right about there being something else...but I believe in God. That's why.

And killing yourself won't do you any good. If you were to die right now, and this is only my opinion, but I don't think you would escape corruptness.

You said you felt this way after using drugs? I think that's part of it. Drugs produce feelings and images that aren't really there...You experienced something along the lines of that. The horrible thing about drugs -- you start to see things that aren't there or you start searching for feelings that were never real. In your case, you think if you die you'll escape to something greater...but I don't know. I've never experienced what you have.

I know this world is corrupt. It sickens me too. But I can also see it's beauty -- if you'll forgive my cheesiness -- and it is wonderful too. No one is totally evil...I think that goes for the world too.

Don't kill yourself, please.
God bless.
- Ally


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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Re: I feel trapped in the world. - August 14th 2012, 06:14 AM

Thank you,
I guess it's just hard to imagine that it was all an "illusion" because the trip felt much stronger, and more pure, and much much more real than anything I've experienced in life. Weird maybe, but since then I've seen the world around me as an illusion, I don't think theres any other way to see it now.
I believe there's something else, and I don't know what it is but it's so much more real than life.

And what do you mean not escape corruptness? Is the afterlife corrupt as well? O.o
   
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Re: I feel trapped in the world. - August 14th 2012, 04:04 PM

hi,
i think that in away everthing is croupted at some point. but its a choise of whether or not you alow yourself to be croupted. hope i helped in some way




Blessed Be!
P.S i cannot spell to save my life
We may bend but we can never break
   
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Re: I feel trapped in the world. - August 15th 2012, 06:03 AM

Thank you,
I guess it's just hard to imagine that it was all an "illusion" because the trip felt much stronger, and more pure, and much much more real than anything I've experienced in life. Weird maybe, but since then I've seen the world around me as an illusion, I don't think theres any other way to see it now.
I believe there's something else, and I don't know what it is but it's so much more real than life.

And what do you mean not escape corruptness? Is the afterlife corrupt as well? O.o
   
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