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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Tigerlily. Offline
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Name: Cheye
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I just can't handle it anymore - August 23rd 2012, 08:13 AM

I have so many people to talk to, so many "reasons" to live. But I just, I can't handle it. I've OD'ed every night since Aug 19th, including tonight. I only call Live Help or talk to someone AFTER I do it, and then I decide I regret it and won't do it again, but I do... I'm just scared of myself, and the amount of medicine I've ingested in the last 4 days. I know it's not healthy, and I'm probably lucky to be alive right now, and that I need to tell my mom and get tot he doctor, but I'm scared. I'm scared of dying, but I'm scared of living. I just don't know anymore. And my aunt JUST got out of the hospital, there's so much stress on the family already, we're barely making it financially, we don't have enough money to take me to the doctor, even with my insurance. Let alone the emergency room. And I can't call poison control for a professional opinion because I did the first night I OD'ed and the lady told me that I HAD to get to the ER immediately and offered to call an ambulance so I lied and said I'd have my mom take me. I just don't know what to do anymore.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
ALittleLost Offline
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Re: I just can't handle it anymore - August 23rd 2012, 08:03 PM

You really need to get medical help
What you're doing will kill you, you need to get help as fast as you can
You have no idea how damage you've probably already done to your body
I understand you're worried about your family, but right now you need to help yourself


"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise"
-Les Miserables

"All these thoughts locked inside, now you're the the first to know"
-"It ends tonight" All-American Rejects

"You built up a world of magic, because you're real life is tragic"
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Re: I just can't handle it anymore - August 23rd 2012, 10:46 PM

Hi lovely,

I know we've talked a bit about this but that was before I saw this thread. I wanna make it clear that I'm always here for you to talk to. Seriously, if you are feeling like OD'ing, please feel free to shoot me a Facebook message because I'll get it sent to my iPod and I'll be able to respond or get on the computer if you need to chat.

Sure, I may not have all the answers but I can help the best that I possibly can and guide you in the right direction. I need you in my life, okay? Good, bad, angry, happy, sad, etc. I just wanna be here for you always.

I'm proud of you for writing the letter and talking to your mom like you told me you did earlier. That's a great step and I hope that it continues to go forward for you. I know that money is tight and things are stressful with your aunt. BUT you matter too. Ignore the factors and focus on your life. Be honest with your mom and with the doctor. I know that it's scary but I believe in you. You've gotten through to your mom more than once so I know that you can do this.

Someday, you're going to look back and see yourself as a survivor. You're going to smile at all that you've accomplished and gotten through. I know things are tough and as cliche as it sounds, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I strongly believe that you'll reach the light. The top of the mountain. The moon. Whatever phrase you wanna say, you're going to make it.

I love you. I'm always here.
   
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