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SanctusEternum Offline
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I just can't take it - August 24th 2012, 12:17 AM

So, you (whoever reads this) have probably heard this plenty of times from other people. I know, it must get old, but I don't know who to talk to. Is it sad that a stranger seems more appealing than a family member or friend? Anyways, I'm sorry. I ramble.

It's just that lately, I've been eating less, I've been feeling down. I have felt like this many times before, but its really bad now. I was standing in the kitchen with a pill bottle in my hand and I don't know...I don't want to die...but I feel like I don't have any other choice. I don't want to live anymore. I feel like I can't get anything right because I'm always screwing things up at my job and I'm always getting into fights with my sisters and my parents. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of ruining things for other people. I just...I don't know what to do. I don't want to die, but I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't know who to talk to....

I've injured myself before. Purposely. It was at a point in my life where things just go to be too much. I'm afraid that's going to happen again. But I don't think it's just going to be that. I'm afraid I'm going to do something that I'll regret, but I just can't put up with anything anymore. I'm tired all the time and I never seem to do things right. I just can't help but wonder, what's the point anymore? I...I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

If you can offer advice or help or whatever, please do. I'm scared that I'll hurt myself.
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Reign. Offline
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Name: Kay
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Join Date: July 2nd 2012

Re: I just can't take it - August 25th 2012, 12:42 AM

Darling, it makes perfect sense that talking to a stranger is more comfortable than talking to someone you love/someone who loves you;
The psychology behind that is that when you care for someone, (friend, family, bf/gf) you also have a certain fear of disappointing them or upsetting them or you're afraid that they'll think there's something wrong with you or that you're crazy - And this is all perfectly normal. The emotional connection almost makes you ashamed to say anything. So don't feel bad about it, because we all do it.

Let me stress the importance of you NOT EVER acting on any suicidal thought. Ever. It's not worth it. It really isn't.
I understand the 'not feeling good enough' or 'I can't do anything right' notion. I go through that all the time. See, depression, as you must already know is a terribly hard thing to fight. You can't just snap your fingers and make it disappear. But take it as a trial that in the end will make you stronger.

Don't take this as a hypocritical statement; But don't hurt yourself. Once you start, you don't stop. You will become addicted to destroying yourself and it will never go away. I
would know because I've been cutting for 5 years. I've stopped off and on but never fully. So don't do it.

Something I'd love for you to realize; It's okay to feel. To hurt. But you have to set your mind to be positive. It is an every day struggle to do this, but it's worth it. When you start feeling like everything is too much, sit back. Relax. Have a nice, hot cup of coffee or tea. Treat yourself with care and love. Release all those little negative nagging thoughts in your head. Write down everything you're feeling. Every. Little. Thing. And I promise it will help you feel better.

Finally; I would like to welcome you to Teenhelp, I hope you enjoy your stay here. And thank you for trusting us all with your feelings. I'd like to invite you to feel free to email me directly or PM me on here anytime you'd like and I will get to your message asap. I hope I helped and I wish you the very best darling. ~Kayla.

So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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