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i'm sad to the core core core♥
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Name: Karri
Age: 25
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Join Date: July 31st 2011

Too much - August 30th 2012, 05:32 PM

Idk I just need to get my thoughts out and here is the only place I really can so here goes.

Basically, this has been the worst summer ever. And I don't say that in a superficial way or whatever.

Like, literally everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.

My family's house went into foreclosure, we have to move, it's some shitty fucking house in a not so great neighborhood and I spent basically the entire summer renovating this house.

We had to put two of my dogs to sleep, who've basically been in my life the past 18 years.

College...I don't even know what I'm doing. I know I have enough money to pay for school, but the idea of making sure all my scholarships and financial aid get disbursed at the right time...And then there's classes-I don't know if I made the right choices. There's one class I'm taking that literally has the vaguest description ever and I want to drop it but then I'm only taking 13 credits this quarter and I feel like a failure when everyone else is taking like 15. And idk I hope my roommate's nice and what if she hates me and thinks I'm a weirdo? What if I get lost in Seattle, because I'm not at all used to big cities and everything? What if I fail my classes? What if my financial aid falls through for whatever reason? Idk there's so many unknowns and I'm scared and no one seems to have answers for anything and they're just like "oh college will be fun" and it's like...no, I'm scared to death.

And then I had this really weird dream about my dad (who died when I was 5), and it was like back at my old old old house (like from when I was two) and it's like a bunch of our family (and like half of them were dead, like my dead, my grandpa, and my great grandma) sitting around a table talking and my dad just turns to me and says, "I'm sorry I've been gone so long" and the dream ends. Like, idk, I know it sounds stupid, but I woke up crying because it felt so fucking real (I could hear his voice, and see him so vividly and when I'm awake I can't remember barely anything about him) and idk it just made me think about how much I miss him and wish he was around and how different my life would be if he hadn't died.

Idk lately I've just been feeling really sad and suicidal and stressed and there's no one I can talk to about any of it and it's crushing me.


would it be so hard to realign a star or two?
   
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ciararnhrt12 Offline
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Name: Ciara
Age: 25
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Re: Too much - August 30th 2012, 10:36 PM

Hey Hun,
Sounds like you've been going throug a lot, I'm sorry to hear about your dad and losing the house, it must have been tough on you. You should be proud that you got on here and are sharing what you're feeling, becuase no one should have to deal with stuff like this alone. As for college to be honest I am right there with you, I have one year left in High school and I AM FREAKING out about essays and where to go and just everything. It definelty is a large stresser in life, but just think of it this way: your room mate is propably thinking the exact same things and worrying about being liked and fitting in. The financial aid, well try not to worry about that, it's out of your hands. Just do your best in school and get good grades and I am positive that you will do amazing. Best of luck!
Love CC
   
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