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Don't Know What to Say. - September 2nd 2012, 02:08 AM

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I don't know what to do. I'm screwed. I'm gonna end up failing my classes because I'm too stupid and I have no motivation, and if I fail I'll have to take summer school. If I end up taking summer school, my mother will never let me live it down.
"Your sister is in honors and she does well in her classes. She'll never end up having to take summer school. Hell, your brother never took summer school. Why can't you be more like them?"
And even though some of the fees will be waived (For some reason that I forgot) she'll still end up paying a buttload.
"Can't go out to dinner tonight/can't buy you that/can't afford this because someone has to go to summer school."
As well as that, I can't stop self harming. I just can't.
If I can't pull myself together I'm in big trouble. And I really don't know how to. I feel like taking them all right now. Then all this crap will be over.
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Re: Don't Know What to Say. - September 2nd 2012, 01:46 PM

Hey,

First of all, you're not stupid. Nobody is, in my opinion, and that includes you. Perhaps it's a matter of you struggling with the work right now, in which case, ask for help. There's no shame in looking for further assistance if you're finding it difficult, and it's better than putting yourself down. In terms of the motivation, my best answer to that is to just get on with what has to be done. Regardless of how much motivation you have to do so, the best way to overcome that issue is to just do it. That way, it's over and done with and you wont have to worry about that anymore.

If you're worried about how your mum will feel about all of this, I'd definitely suggest talking to her about it and explaining why you're finding it so hard. If you communicate with her, you may find she's a lot more understanding about it all and will be less likely to do all of what you explained. As your mum, she will only want what is best for you and as a result of this, she will want to know when you're finding that difficult. She'll probably be happy to help you out.

The self harm issue must be difficult, but it can be fixed. It may be hard right now, but you can over come it. The main thing to remember is that you are in control. The whole time you tell yourself you can't stop and you can't over come it, the more difficult it will be to actually stop. This is because you're convincing yourself that it's won, and it hasn't. It never has because your actions are in your control. If the urges come, do something to keep your mind off of them and don't give in. As hard as it might be, don't give in. You CAN stop and you CAN overcome this. You can.

I hope this has helped a bit. Remember never to give up. You can beat this, I have faith in you and you deserve to find a better life for yourself. It's hard right now, but it gets better and it wont always be this way, so don't give up.

Take care,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
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As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: Don't Know What to Say. - September 2nd 2012, 03:54 PM

Honestly if it's not one thing, it's another. Sometimes I wonder if online school would be a good alternative to public school but I don't even know how to bring that up to my Mom. And all she'll do, really, is try to convince me to stay in public school. I'm tired of trying with her and I'm tired of talking to her. I have tried before to approach her in a polite and non-accusatory way about a multitude of things and it always turns into a huge argument.
As far as the self harm, I don't know if I even want to stop sometimes. It's become such a routine that simply being without it for a day or two is enough to make me want it again...
   
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