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I think I'm going insane. - September 10th 2012, 12:27 AM

Ok, I'm not sure if this is the right thread, but I didn't know where else it would fit. Anyway, Monday my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me. We were only dating for 2 weeks, but I really fell for this guy. He dumped me over text message and now I see that he was just using me. He just wanted in my pants; and I knew that when we were dating but I'm an idiot and I stayed with him. Two days before he broke up with me, he asked if we were going to go all the way on our next date, and I said no, not for awhile. Then he asked how long is awhile..So I'm sure if I would've said yes there would have been another date.
I have been so heartbroken this year, I snapped. Before my ex, I had a huge crush on this other guy, but he was so hot and cold I gave up. Before my crush, my other ex, my first love, dumped me over Facebook. And then there's all the 'players' that have broken my heart.
Anyway, right after he dumped me, I texted my crush and said I needed a friend and asked if he wanted to hang out. He was a good listener and everything, but somehow he ended up just being my rebound and we made out topless. ._.
I honestly don't regret it at all, but I'm pretty sure I ruined my chances with him because he probably thinks I'm easy now. And sadly, through every boyfriend I've had, I've liked this guy throughout. And now I like him more than ever. :/
Everyday I'm not home unless I have to be. I pretty much just drive for hours or go to random places. I feel like the last thread my heart was hanging on by snapped, and I'm going crazy. I can't stay in my house, I think too much and I freak out. But this weekend I've had to stay home and I can't handle it. I know I'm running from my problems but I can't deal with this. I've seriously considered running away from home. I love my parents, but my dad is an alcoholic and my mom is psycho half the time. I'm not seeing my therapist for another 2 weeks. I just want to do stupid, reckless shit and I won't care what happens to me. I don't believe I'm depressed and I'm not suicidal, but I'm still just done, if that makes sense. Done with everything. I feel numb and I'm seriously loosing my mind. I give up, I don't care about anything anymore.

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Re: I think I'm going insane. - September 10th 2012, 01:26 AM


Being depressed (in the mood disorder sense) doesn't always involve being sad and tearful. Sometimes you can feel empty, irritable, irrational, impulsive . . . basically what you've described. It took a long time for mental health services to pick up when I was depressed, because when I am, I get impulsive, and I do reckless things, and disappear for a couple of days at a time - stuff like that.

Not caring about consequences and stuff is also a depression thing.

So I'm going to disagree with you. I'm not a professional (far from it), but from what you've written here, it looks to me like you are depressed, and just spending some time with our friend denial.

My advice would be this:
Ring your therapist. Get your appointment moved forwards. It's important that he/she sees you while this is still happening so that they can give you the best advice and the best help for what's going on.

Also, if you talk to your therapist (or even your GP or a school counselor) and explain that you feel like you need some time out from your home situation to deal with the other stuff that's going on, they might be able to organise some time away for you.

And I'm sorry that you're having so much difficulty with relationships. I have no advice there, I'm chronically single.
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