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That One Guy
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Will life ever get better? - September 15th 2012, 03:40 AM

This is going to be extremely long so i apologize for that. I have no one to talk to so i've never told anybody these things. So bare with me.
Will i guess it would be best to start from the beginning. My childhood wasnt all that bad. I lived in a small town in Arizona and thats where i made a lot of good memories. I had friends, my parents were home, and life was awesome. Thats also where i found my guitar. When i was seven years old I found an acoustic guitar in the trash can. The strings were all gone. It had holes in it and the paint on it was a mess. I took it from there and thats where my love for music started. I remember taking my dads mp3 and listening to the music. Thats where i got my passion to play guitar. For Christmas my parents took my guitar to a guitar shop down the street to get repaired. When it was finished it was really nice looking. No holes, new strings, and i was going to lessons to learn how to play. I learned from this guy for about a year. Then i moved to Phoenix.
I dont remember a time where i never had my guitar with me. Every where i went i had my guitar with me in my case. I used my case as a backpack to school. I would take it everywhere. While the other kids were playing in recess i was practicing. I made a lot of friends to. Some of them would listen to me play. I think i have a talent for music. I write my own songs and sing them while playing my guitar. I make up my own rifts with the guitar and add them to my songs. Anyways, it got horrible when junior high started.
In my sixth grade year i made the stupidest and worst mistake of all. The first day of junior high was really hard. The first time i got lockers and the first time i had eight classes. In sixth period was my PE class. I was late to class that day and when i got to the gym i couldnt find anyone. I started to open up doors and look for the coach or my classmates. I stumbled upon a door that looked like a changing room. I thought it was the guys. When i opened the door there was just another wall and then there was a hallway that turned towards the left. I went to the left then to the right. When i saw lockers i was happy because i thought i found the changing room. I tripped on something and knocked someone over. When i looked up there was a girl only in her bra and panties. My face was right where her underwear was and my hands happened to on her boobs. I stood up and said sorry so many times and that it was an accident. They screamed and rushed out of the changing room. I left to. When i did i saw some boys and they jumped me. It was one against 10 so i didnt do anything. They beat the shit out of me. They broke my nose, jaw, and my middle finger. They stole my money and cut the strings off my guitar. The girls were cheering them on while they were doing that. The coach came and asked them what happened. I tried to talk but my jaw wouldnt move. They said that i assaulted a girl and I punched one of the guys in the face. I got sent to the office and my parents were the only ones to believe me. I lost all my friends and ever sense then everybody calls me a pervert and a scum bag. No matter what i said or did they wouldnt believe me.
Now im a sophomore in high school. I have no friends and i never had a girlfriend. My dad is overseas doing a job and he has been there for three years. He comes home for a week every three months. My mom has a night job so i cook dinner and clean the house for her because she is to tired to do the mom things. I help my self out and i keep the house clean. Ever sense that accident everybody makes fun of me and bullies me. I have to keep a lock to my guitar case because they will take it and try to destroy my guitar. I dont use my locker because they will steal my stuff and i cant use a lock because they use the cutters that cuts the lock. I have to walk home and walk to school. I live about 5 miles from school. I cant take the bus because i got banned from it for another accident. I am on the baseball team at school. I dont ever play any games because they wont give me a chance. I do like practice though. I love baseball as much as i love guitar. My family is surprisingly in a financial crisis. My dad might lose his job and my moms job doesnt get much money but we need it to eat. I dont have a job yet but i make money. I play my guitar and sing on the streets for bystanders. I get about 20 bucks in change a day. It helps pay for my schooling and puts some food on the table. When i play on the streets though if the guys at school see my play they will come over where i am at and make fun of me. They will say you suck at playing and have a terrible voice. I have no chance with any girls at school so i doubt i will ever get a girlfriend. There is this one girl that caught my attention at school and on the streets.
I dont know her name but she is beautiful. At lunch i go outside where we are allowed to be at and i play my guitar. I think she is listening to me play though. One day i got a note taped onto my guitar case at school. When i read the note it looked like a girls handwriting. It said, "I love hearing you play at lunch and when you do your street performances. Your songs are amazing. They help me get through my day and I really think that you are awesome. I have been wondering, those songs that you sing, did you write them? What happened in sixth grade wasnt right. I know that you tripped and didnt assault that girl. I have always wanted to talk to you but im so shy to. Your really cute and i would like to get to know you. Please write back to me. Place your note in my locker if you want to be friends. Its number 234."
I got that yesterday. I placed it in her locker but i hope it isnt a prank or something. Because of the guys at my school its hard to tell when its real or fake. Like i said earlier, this one girl always comes outside in lunch with her friends. When i play she will tap her foot to the rhythm of my voice. Do you think this is real or fake?
Anyways i have been kinda depressed lately. I want to have a friend so badly. It sucks. Im alone. I lie to my parents and tell them that everything is fine. I try to cover up the bruises i get from the guys at school so my mom doesnt see them. She works so hard and i dont want to giver her any problems. I dont like violence. With these guys i dont even fight back. I just let them take advantage of me. What other choice do have anyways? Im always out numbered and everybody makes fun of me. Even all the girls do to. The first day of school i picked the back seat in the classroom. This girl came up to me and kicked my guitar case over and the case opened and all my picks, papers, and pencils fell out of it. When i got to my knees to pick up all of my things she put her foot on my back and said thats right bow down to me. The teacher wasnt there for some reason. All the girls were laughing. They were calling me stupid, worthless, and they were saying wow i cant believe you are that clumsy. They kept on laughing and then when i got my stuff up one of them spit on my face. On that same day when i was in athletics someone stole my clothes. When we are done working out or practicing in athletics we have to take showers. Someone stole my clothes and my athletics clothes. I found my clothes and guitar case in the trashcan in the locker room. There was gum on my case and someone spilled Gatorade all over my clothes. That day sucked haha.
Anyways im starting to get tired of this stuff. I never let it get to me but this stuff has been going on sense sixth grade. I dont fight back because i was taught to have respect for others. When i open up doors for girls they either go through the other one or make fun of me. When someone drops a pencil i will pick it up for them and try to hand it to them. They will say ew you can keep it. Does anybody know how i can turn this around? Do you think that this girl really likes me and that its not some kind of joke? Im sorry for saying so much but i had to get this out of my system. If anybody has any kind of advice for me i could use it. O and another thing. Will my life get any better? So far life is giving me hell. Thank you for reading all of this and i appreciate it.
   
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Re: Will life ever get better? - September 15th 2012, 11:45 AM

Oh hun......I just want to give you a hug right now. Life will get better.....maybe not easier...but better? Yes! You just have to stay strong. It's stories like yours that make me wish I was a nicer person in high school, I wasnt mean just didnt reach out as much as I should have. You sound like a sweet wonderful person and dont stop being that way, dont let them get to you, dont let them turn you into a bitter person cuz I have seen that too often. High school is a sucky place sometimes...I know....even friends turn on eachother. Just be who you are, just smile and do what you love! Play that guitar forever! Don't stop, dont give it up no matter what anyone ever says...I wish I had your dedication...I own a guitar...Ive had it for a year and a half and barely know anything......keep doing what you love, and if you love baseball do that to! Screw the people who dont like you...I played Volleyball for three years in middle school and was always told I sucked but I loved playing.....one day I realized I was actually pretty good...better then some of the girls that made fun of me....they were just straight up jealous.
NEVER stop doing what you love...keep doing what makes you happy!
And as for that girl, give it a shot...see what happens.....if it was a prank....dont worry you will find someone....and the person you will end up being with forever most likely isn't in your high school..just sayin'.
I hope the best for you, keep your chin up and keep pushing through and feel free to Private message me any time.
I hope this helps
   
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Re: Will life ever get better? - September 23rd 2012, 03:18 AM

That's not right. You don't deserve to be treated like that. And I'm sorry your family is going through a rough patch. I can relate. But stay sweet. People tend to act like that out of ignorance. Nobody really knows you so they have no right to judge. But it's highschool. And that's what people do. But don't let it get you down. There's people out there who are willing to get to know you.trust me. I'd be one of those people if I went to your school. You just gotta find them and keep your head held up high
   
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Re: Will life ever get better? - September 23rd 2012, 03:44 AM

Hey mate,

I'm sorry this all happened to you, I really am, you shouldn't have to put up with their shit, they should just get over it. They are all seeking attention, if you keep ignoring what they say sooner of later they'll think you are no fun, or a mate will be like 'stop dude, that's enough'. Something will happen to stop them.

What I did when I had a rought time in school was make friends with the teachers, that way the teachers will know what I'm like and not agree with the majority of people saying whatever it is they are saying. Usually teachers are smart enough to know who is in the right. I'd also suggest, tell someone, anyone, what they are doing to you. They can't get away with it. If they do, it might progress and they may do it to other people when they are older.

Keep strong,
it will get better,

best wishes
Jay. (don't hesitate to PM me if you ever need to talk).


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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