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I'm on the brink of death - September 15th 2012, 10:24 PM

Words can't really explain how I feel right now. I'm tired of fighting. It's only been a month of school and I missed seven says. I'm sure my teachers have already lost respect for me. I feel like it's never going to get better. I consider suicide everyday, I've even written notes but there's only one thing that stops me and that's what's going to happen after I die. Is hell even real? I can't fight this....cuts are getting deeper and suicidal thoughts are stronger. The only thing that is improving is my anxiety because of Zoloft. My friends think I'm out going, my teacher's know I'm the quietest in the class. No one would think of what I do to myself. All that self hatred and not being able to let go of the past is taken out on myself. I wanted to prove that I'm strong enough to get through this, but maybe I should prove that I'm strong enough to let go. I'm just ranting, I don't know who I am anymore.

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The mountains are calling and I must go.

They whispered to her
you cannot withstand the storm
she whispered back
i am the storm.
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That One Guy
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Re: I'm on the brink of death - September 16th 2012, 02:13 AM

Dont give up. I can guarante you that it will all get better some day. My life hasnt been perfect. I have no friends and everybody thinks im a pervert because there was this accident in sixth grade. After that no one would believe a word i say. They all pick on me. Even the girls. I dont have a friend in school to turn to. My mom works the nights and my father works overseas. I have to keep the house clean and do all of that stuff. But no matter what odds i will face i never gave up. There will come a day where things will get better. My situation could be worse. Im grateful that i have my guitar and everything else. Dont give up. A time will come when everything will turn around in your life. Things will get better.
Life isnt fair. Thats a true statement. Life can be beautiful. You just have to make it that way. Try your best in everything you do. Have pride in yourself and walk everywhere like you own the place. Dont ever let people or life get to you. Its not worth sitting there and taking a beating to life. Stand up, look life in the face, and say that its your life and you create your own destiny. You have a purpose for being on this earth. If you commit suicide its game over. You dont respawn and get a second chance. In life there are second chances. In life you can look to the future and know that tomorrow can be better than yesterday. Do something in your life. So what if it knocks you down a couple times? Get back up and try again. Eventually, it will get tired and thats when you have your chance to strike. Dont let that moment slip away. You are a year younger than me. We both have a long time to figure out what to do and how to create our own happiness. Ill be honest. Life has knocked me down more times than i can count. I get back up and get ready to strike. I cant accept that my life will always stay horrible. You can turn this around. You have the power to change your life. You hold the answer to your problem. I know you can do this. Many people out there are going through the same thing as us. Prove to us that it can get better. Prove the people wrong that said that you cant change your life. You can do it. I know people that have. Find yourself and find what you believe in. Stick to yourself and what you believe in. Change the way life has treated you.
I hope that you can find the strength and courage to get back up and show life who is the boss. Message me if you need someone to talk. Im here for you .
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Re: I'm on the brink of death - September 16th 2012, 06:48 PM

I know exactly how you feel, i have felt that way for the past 2 years. and only 2 weeks ago did i stop feeling that way, i even tried to kill myself and honestly I regret it so much. But it changed me, i thought of everything i would miss and everyone who would miss me and decided to live. i was so tired of feeling that way. now only two weeks after that i am living a very happy life. Life will get better, trust me, but it can't get better on its own. You have to help it get there. Don't let those negative feelings you have control your life. You have to have a positive mind to have positive actions, and you have to have positive actions to have a positive life. keep fighting, stay strong and never give up. I wish you the best! If you ever need to talk i'm here for you!
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