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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Can you hear the silence?
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Unhappy don't know if i can do life anymore going to kill myself - September 29th 2012, 06:42 PM

hey guys i met this girl lauren ages ago and we never really talked we started getting close to each other which was nice then i kinda stopped talking to her for like a year because i thought she was mean. anyway a year down line she has grown up and became so nice and a kind girl. anyway i guss she has always been my friend i cant remember how we started talking again but anyway she had a friend called laura in the class next to me she and her friend coral would always go nd see laura. laura knew i liked lauren etc and lauren kept showing me sighs that she might like me and then i left it for a while because i was too shy to ask her out i loved lauren wwith all my heart we never met out side of school or anything but i really liked her and she is the most amazing girl in the world and i can't go on anymore with out her! the day came! the last day of year10 it as the lst day of me being in year 10 it was also the last day of lauren being in year 9. at the end of each school year we have a massive 6 weeks break before we go up to our next year mine was year 11 any how i thought to myself thta this is the last day i will get to tell lauren before i hit the 6 weks hoilday and i want to tell her so bad so i made her this letter and i gave it to my friend immy to give it to lauren Laureni have been waiting to do this for a while but i have really liked you for such a long time you mean so much to me i just want to be with you. Your such a pretty girl and you mean everything to me everyday i think about you and i can't stop your such ano amazing girl everyday i wanna be with i hate the feeling when im not with you. You are the most amazing girl in the world. You make me feel so amazing everytime i look in to your eyes i feel so happy i really want to look after you and be there for you i would spend all my time in the world trying to make you happy the only thing i care about is you your the most important thing i care about your eyes are so perfect i love every part about you laurn yg ou have ano amazng personallity It's a beautiful day as I look in your eyes You have a wonderful way It almost makes me cryIt's hard to find the words To say what you mean to me So all I'm going to say is Will You go out with me laurenxxx. As you see the letter had no name !!!! Thats the cute part. lauren got this letter but i ran in to a few problems and then waited a few days then told her on facebook who sent her the letter and the facebook replys are showen below: Hey lauren remember this ? It's a beautiful day as I look in your eyes You have a wonderful way It almost makes me cry It's hard to find the words To say what you mean to me So all I'm going to say is Will You go out with me. I love you so much baby xxxx



lauren reply is showen below: you're a lovely boy justin, but i don't feel the same way:-/ the love letter was beautiful and it made me smile, but i'm sorry justin, i hope this doesn't ruin our friendship:-/



my reply is showen below:


Aha dont worry :lauren sweetheart! Aha and my friend was on my account and did it for me because i was shy aha. Okay babe dont worry. And yeah aha better not act awkward around me at school . Yeh this should not effect our friendship and aha dont feel bad either babe aha. Anyway im off now so cya xxxxx . You know what they say always smile no matter what situation its like 8 weeks ago now and im falling apart still trying to find other girls to over up lauren but i cant i love lauren so much and i want to end my life i cant do life anymore im going to kill myself all my friends hate me at school they treat me like shit and call me an emo and people just hate me now i waspopular but not anymore i cant do my last year of school i just cant lauren is the only girl i wanna be with and i cant get her to leave my heart im thinking about starting self harm or suicide lease help im 15 btw and waiting to die
   
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Re: don't know if i can do life anymore going to kill myself - September 29th 2012, 07:40 PM

Hey sorry to hear that your having a bad time. Though it doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself school it hard, relationships are hard and having a self harming issue and depressive thoughts makes it so much worse. I can honestly relate.

Think about it though would killing your self achieve? It will make her feel like it her fault and it would affect the people around you. All them people thinking how will they live without you.

She wasn’t the right person for you and I think you need to sort out your self harming problems and depressive thoughts before you even think about entering a relationship. Get help You can do it

Feel better and feel free to pm me if you need!


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
   
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Re: don't know if i can do life anymore going to kill myself - September 29th 2012, 10:51 PM

Hey... ok so your life feels pretty bad right now - I can relate. And I've felt suicidal a few times too. I'm in year 11 so I know how stressful school can be and I guess that is something we all have bear with. And as for Lauren? Dude she is one girl. Yeah she's pretty special to you, but think of how she would feel if you weren't around. You two seem to be good friends so if you can't find a reason to go on, do it for her. She cares about you - even if it is just as a friend. There is someone out there for you, and she will be someone who loves you as much as you love her. So just keep going. Or at least try to. It's gonna take some time, but there's always a reason to keep going - don't give up. Just please don't give up...

-Kenz1e
   
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Re: don't know if i can do life anymore going to kill myself - September 30th 2012, 02:45 AM

Hey man, you are fifteen and there will be someone amazing for you down the track whom you'll love and cherish. At 15, everyone thinks they are in love, our hormones are still having to settle. Don't give up on life because there is so much more to live for than relationships.

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

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