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Luctus Offline
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Don't know if I want to die... - October 2nd 2012, 02:44 AM

Hi, I'm new here.

I've had depression for the past two and a half years and have wanted to die off and on for a year and a half. It seems to be a genetic issue. I have confessed to several friends and my parents and am being "treated" for it, but it doesn't really work for me. I just feel really trapped where I am because every day I try to pretend like everything is all right like I have done for over two years, and I am just tired of it. I'm tired of acting like I don't have a problem, because I don't want to hurt the people around me. I have three younger siblings too, who all look up to me, and every time I think of killing myself, I think of how I would hurt them. But I can't help but be in such agonizing pain that my depression puts me through. I've begun to take it out on myself and have cut a few times, but nothing too bad. I just don't know what to do. Help...
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Delicious Chaos Offline
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Re: Don't know if I want to die... - October 2nd 2012, 05:41 AM

First of all welcome to TH!!

I understand what it feels like to want to die but not be able to because of people around you. Dying is not the answer to struggles in life. You have to know that no matter how hard time gets you have to know that it'll all pass. Time will go by and everything will become better. It might not seem like that right now but I consider myself a living example that no matter how hard time gets you will pass it.

I suggestion I would make to help you with things is either confiding in a really close friend or going to a therapist. Keeping everything bottled up to look stronger than you actually are isn't a good idea. It never works because one day you just explode with all the sadness or anger you have. You have to have someone you are ready to communicate with so you can go on. Talking might not seem much but it helps a lot. Ranting gets everything off your chest it takes everything off your chest. Try it. You'll be amazed.

If you want you could always shoot me a PM or VM so you could either just go on a rant or talk about your problems I would love to help you
Your life is worth living don't give up.

ďIíve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. Iíve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, Iíve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. Iíve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.Ē
- Michael Jordan

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
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Validity Offline
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Re: Don't know if I want to die... - October 2nd 2012, 07:36 AM

Hey there, welcome to the community.
I agree with what Katz said.
I know exactly how you feel, well, sort of, my baby sister is due in January which sort of puts pressure on me to be the 'perfect daughter' and all.
But, try putting yourself and how you feel in front of everything else. You've come to this site so rant, in reality maybe when you feel stresses/depressed go for a walk and kick at the things in your path instead of taking it out on yourself, plus you younger siblings won't happen to see you.

Don't take the 'easy' way out. Stick aound and fight, you still have a whole life in front of you. And nobody wants to see you waste that.

I'm here if you need someone.

Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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