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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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The "happy" one Offline
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Age: 21
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Unhappy I don't know what to do anymore - October 12th 2012, 01:38 AM

Hello! I'm new here and I need some help... lately in the past year and a half I've.... well basically hated myself. I hate how I look, I hate my personality etc. I've tried to cut but I can't go deep enough to make it bleed. I want to not eat. But I do anyway. I had a panic attack and almost killed myself. But I didn't. I was a coward. ... I feel like..... I do NOT deserve anything! I haven't said anything because... well I don't deserve help. There are so many other people that have bigger problems than mine, and I regret saying anything at all. I'm sorry if I wasted some minutes of you're life, if you read this. but... I'm really thankful that you did. Can someone please tell me? Am I depressed or am I just being a complainer?
   
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Smile Re: I don't know what to do anymore - October 12th 2012, 08:44 AM

Hey,
I sent you the PM to stay online. Thank you for waiting while I did read this.
First off you are not complaining and you are not wasting anyone's time.
I would like to ask a basic question of your age? This you do not have to tell me, however I believe I can relate.
There was a time in my teens where I had felt that I do not deserve anything, that I had been sick of looking at myself and yes even the feeling of not eating. During this time the thought of cutting and killing myself was tempting UNTIL a interesting turn of events happened.
Please read on.

During the years where I had felt in depression, I was walking in Downtown, Toronto. I stumbled upon a great twist where I was passing by the hospital and saw two ambulances pull up to the EMergency entrance. Two young students around the age of 17 or 18 had been pulled in. They had tried to commit suicide by drinking a large amount of alcohol . Now my first impression was that they were party animals drinking too hard until their friends Rushed in. I am not the one to sneak into a conversation but I could not let this go.
The parents of the teens did not approve their relationship and caused a very hard emotional effect on the teens during the afternoon.

Later I started walking out of the emergency after 1 hour to see if they have stabilized (which they did after a while) .
There was a nurse that said "children these days have no interest in living because they look down too hard. If they could see how beautiful life is, they could be like us. Helping people, saving a life."
This was part of my life that had changed my prospective in life. It became my drive to live, to help and at least make a person smile.

Perhaps you would like to find a hobby that would take a interest in you? Read a couple of good jokes, maybe even the classic art of drawing or photography and share it to show a beautiful thought in your world? I sure would love to see it, read a poem or hear a song anyone would make. Or just someone to talk to?

If you would like to chat just PM me! I'll be here.
I hope this was sort of useful, please let me know.
   
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Validity Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore - October 12th 2012, 11:00 AM

Hey there,
everyone struggles, just because they don't have the worst life, doesn't mean that it doesn't feel unbearable to you.
We here at TeenHelp aim to help any and all, because we know how it feels and everybody has their own problems.
Maybe try and find something you do like about yourself and just focus on that, and then slowly pick at other things and find something you like about it.
I know how it feels to hate yourself, personality and everything else but it is worth trying to find the positive attributes.

Stay strong,
Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore - October 13th 2012, 03:32 AM

You're not a coward..it was good that you didn't killed yourself! That would of been awful..if you need advice message me.Xx
   
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The "happy" one Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore - October 17th 2012, 05:29 AM

Thank you guys for the support <3 at this point, I'm not sure where I am...
   
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