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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Dgworld Offline
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Suicide is my every second thought? - October 20th 2012, 03:54 AM

Hi everyone(first post WOoh)

I'm 14. I've had a history of low self esteem and got bullied out of a school in 5th grade. Recently I've been having repeated thoughts of suicide. My family is in a bad financial situation right now and my parents have been out of the house working a lot. At my school I always feel like an outsider. No girl has ever liked me and I dont think one ever will. They go up to guys and give hugs and I'm literraly the only guy in the grade who has had 6 hugs from a girl who's not my mom in the past 4 years. Everyday I can't help but be depressed. And don't say Im stuck in some "state of self pity". I do put myself out there and try to talk to people but I always feel like theres something about me thats dislikeable and get weireded out by the other people. Today I almost killed myself and was so close to swalloing the 8 Tylenol. I feel like I wanna be homeschooled and I skipped my english class last week and I'm falling behind in English to so my parents are getting mad at me. I just wanna stay at home all day because I hate dealing with the feelings of worthlessness I get around most people except my close friends. It seems like the music I write is my only hobby and even though I gig professionally it hasn't helped me at all.

Thanks.
   
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Re: Suicide is my every second thought? - October 20th 2012, 01:38 PM

You're fourteen, trust me, girls and women will eventually like you. Not just like you, but love you. You just need to wait it out because at 14, girls are shy. They don't put themselves out there. Just so you know, 8 tylenols wont kill you. What it will do, is damage your liver and take it from someone who has a damaged kidney, having to go through treatments and surgery, is not fun. If you feel you're dis likable, you know you can change right? But only if YOU feel dis likable. There is someone out there who likes you for who you are, but if you're not happy with it. Change! Try everything, and I mean everything, before even considering suicide. Try counseling, medication, religion, changing yourself, reading self help books, basically everything and anything because something will work. Staying home only makes the feeling of worthlessness intensify. Get out there and find joy in something. If it isn't music, it can be something else. Just don't give up so quickly because soon this will pass and if you pass away, you'll never know how great life could have been.


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Re: Suicide is my every second thought? - October 20th 2012, 02:06 PM

Hey there,

Welcome to Teen Help!

First. You describe yourself as dislikeable. If you truly believe that you're not likeable, then that's the vibe you'll give off. I want you to make a list of things you like about yourself. Looks, personality, etc. Read that. Realize that you have some amazing qualities about you that are unique to you! Then portray that. If you excel at music and writing, join band at school. Or join a club that pertains to your interests. The key to being content- is focusing your time and energy into the things that you enjoy. People are going to soon begin to take notice. But in the end, it's isn't about them. It's about you! You're going to build the necessary confidence by doing the things you thrive at.

Second. You are only fourteen. Girls are going to come and they're going to go. It's natural. And the fact that you don't have that experience with girls doesn't mean you lack anything, or that you're worthless. It doesn't even mean that you're behind. It just means that these things happen at different times for everyone. You're just starting to figure things out and get to know people. As far as friends go- you have close friends. Some people don't have any friends at all. Hold onto those close friends and feel grateful towards them. Like I mentioned, there are some people who don't have people to call friends. I think it's important that you focus on the people that you DO have in your life, rather than the ones you don't have. And take note of how good they make you feel.

The fact that you're so close to taking an overdose concerns me a bit. I think that you need to talk to someone about this. But in the mean time, I think it's worth you making another list. Only this time make a list of reasons to live. What things are worth it to you? What things do you gain enjoyment from? Do you have goals and dreams? People you care about? You have to find a reason to hold on. And In the event that you still are feeling like you need to take those pills then you should call a hotline. They can help you. Your life is so worth it! And you're so young. You have a whole big life ahead of you. And I know things are bad now, but things won't be like that forever. Things are changing.

I do think you need to talk to your parents though. Or someone who can help. Like a teacher, or a guidance counselor? What about a friends parents? It's highly important that you talk to someone. You don't have to battle this alone. You need the help. Not only do you need the help, but you deserve it. You deserve to live a happy life. And you're way to young to get caught up in a major depression. You're worth it. I truly truly believe that. Please hang in there. This isn't the end for you. Promise <3


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Re: Suicide is my every second thought? - October 20th 2012, 05:27 PM

Ive tried the list thing and read a self help book I found in the bathroom. Neither of these helped. I also have told my parents and they said it's just a phase. I read on a website that teenage depression becomes adolecent when it last for more than two week and it's been like this for 2 and a half years now. And girls arn't shy.... things have changed a lot this generation. It's gotten to a point where I can't be happy when I try to be... Iunno what to do anymore. I don't want 4 more years of highschool because I can barely make it through this one and it's not even second term.
   
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