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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Ellie
Age: 33
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Inside I'm screaming let me out, but I know I will never get out - October 21st 2012, 09:39 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I really don't know where to begin.
Everything just... falls apart so easily.
I'm such a mess and these meds are not working.
They are not doing shit to me.
Seroquel seems to be bringing in hallucinations instead of making me feel better.
Ha! Me? Feel better?

Only when I die will I feel fine.

I really don't know how to life anymore.
I scream inside.
I hurt inside.
I feel like nothing remains of me.
Only my words and my tears.

Why can't you see that I am hurting!?
Why can't you hear me scream?
Why can't you watch me cry?
Why do you keep pretending like I am alright when all I really want is not exist anymore?

No one sees anything because I keep hiding it all from you.
I can't see myself telling anyone that every thing will be alright.

With me there is no "alright".
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Reign. Offline
Just Hold On We're Going Home~
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Name: Kay
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW ;)

Posts: 405
Blog Entries: 13
Join Date: July 2nd 2012

Re: Inside I'm screaming let me out, but I know I will never get out - October 21st 2012, 09:58 PM

Honey, I am so sorry that you're hurting right now and it seems you're going through a lot.
I'm Kayla. And I'm here for you.
I noticed that you said something about your meds giving you hallucinations instead of helping you. Have you requested you be taken off of those pills? If not, you should. It's never fun having hallucinations. It's scary.

I hope that you feel free to PM me anytime you would like. I'm here to help.

So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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Name: Joel
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Texas

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Join Date: October 20th 2012

Re: Inside I'm screaming let me out, but I know I will never get out - October 21st 2012, 11:32 PM

I'm sorry you feel this way, no one should ever have to feel horrible. At one point, I couldn't wait to die and escape this world. I would go to sleep with the hope of not waking up because I got sick of everything, I felt hopeless. Things are different now, I see things in a new way. I know it sounds easy but, truly, it's an uphill battle that wears on you. You can't give in, you can NEVER give up, your life is precious and is worth fighting for. There is only one you on this earth and you're special.

If you ever need someone to talk to or someone to listen, you can always pm me.

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jstone Offline
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Age: 29

Posts: 42
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Re: Inside I'm screaming let me out, but I know I will never get out - October 21st 2012, 11:39 PM

Just like chaotic said. I don't know that I would just quit taking the meds, I would see the dr about it. Also feel free to pm me as well, I am also going through a very difficult time, and knowing that there are people here willing to help me, to talk to me, it makes a difference. It may not get better overnight, but even one person asking me to message them to talk, or to vent it on here, it makes me feel a little better a little bit at a time. Please keep reaching out, I still am, and I havent done anything to deserve the kindness of these people. Yet they give selflessly and I am learning to do my part too. This is obviously a difficult time for you, do not try to go it alone.

Here's to you, fill the glass. Cuz the last few nights have kicked my ass.
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