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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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xxprincessxx Offline
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can't do this anymore. - October 26th 2012, 10:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I seriously feel like I've been on the verge of an anxiety attack since Thursday and that's almost as worse as just having one and getting over it....

But recently we've had a lot of drama in my circle of friends and two of my close friends have basically dropped my best friend and myself. We had been supporting each other through it and stuff but now my best friend's girlfriend is "jealous" and saying that we need to not spend as much time together and we can never be alone together. Which is irking me because she doesn't go to school her and he talks to her basically 24/7, and I'm not even interested in guys, so I'm def. not after him. (but they don't know that because I haven't told anybody, though I have hinted at it to him.)

So that has made my anxiety skyrocket. I have random spurts where all I do is cry or lie in bed. I cannot focus on school/haven't turned assignments in. I'm just so out of it. My friend has promised nothing will change (besides hanging out less) but relationship wise we always be "close". It's just that this has happened before in the past (for other reasons that actually made sense) and I'm just scared that it's going to happen again and we're going to lose a connection...and I can't handle that, especcially when this time I have nothing to deserve it.

Ahh, I'm just stressed. I know that I shouldn't turn to self-injury/suicide, but anytime something even remotely stressful comes up these are the methods that I turn too. I know that if I did either of these I would for sure lose my closest friends, just because they cannot handle it anymore. Therefore I can't bring it up with them just because of how much the subject of suicide and cutting bothers them... and I just I don't know what to do. I don't want something to happen and them think it's because of them and refuse to be my friend anymore but I also do not want to keep this up.... I'm seriously standing on very thin ice right now.


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: can't do this anymore. - October 27th 2012, 07:39 PM

If you feel like you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Shoot me a message anytime.
   
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Re: can't do this anymore. - October 28th 2012, 09:05 PM

You are allowed to spend time with your best friend and you really do need a best friend in your life because you suffer from anxiety attacks and that friend could help you not feel alone. is it possible for you and your friend to make some arrangements? like set up a good day or time for you two to hang out and chat? because there's no harm in that. It's your best friend's choice really to choose between you or his girlfriend so hes stuck in the middle...but he can spend time with you. Still spend time together because his girlfriend has some trust issues. it's down to your best friend really to try and speak to her and make her see sense he does need breathing space in the relationship. If you know his girlfriend and talked to her before maybe you could try and talk to her and let her know that you and him are friends.
   
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Re: can't do this anymore. - October 29th 2012, 03:17 PM

Don't listen to his girlfriend. She can not control his life. But if she means a lot to her, just try to talk to him about it a little. I know you've probably already tried, but attempt to take a new perspective.

Anyway, if you need someone, I'll be here for you any time that you want. I've been through a lot of stuff too, so maybe you and me could vent to each other?(:
Being low sucks, and I used to cut to try and make it go away. But that just makes things get gradually worse and that sucks even more. Hobbies help me a little, like making crafts and painting and stuff. I have a little book that I keep my sketches in. It's kind of like my own personal vent book. So maybe you could find something to help you, like cooking and junk.(:
   
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