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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Outside, huh?
.:PrincessZelda:.'s Avatar
Name: Cathy
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 4,420
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Join Date: January 16th 2012

Exclamation No reason - October 30th 2012, 12:00 AM

I don't think I'll ever get better. I think I've gotten worse. These thoughts to hurt myself are starting to become unbearable and I don't know how much longer I can ignore them and let them win. I think things would be better if I was dead. There isn't any reason to keep on holding if everyday, I'm suffering. I don't want to keeping living day in and day out if I'm suffering.

Member Since 1/15/2012

Last edited by Palmolive; October 30th 2012 at 12:03 AM. Reason: Removing prefix
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Girly.
Location: The stars.

Posts: 5,793
Blog Entries: 2321
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: No reason - October 30th 2012, 01:23 AM

There is no reason as to why you can't get better. If you want to get better, you can get better. But it is going to take time and hard work. At times you're going to become exhausted and you're going to want to stick two fingers up at the world and walk away but you have to keep fighting. Depression is a curable illness and if not, then it is manageable meaning you can live a normal life and be happy. I realise you haven't yet got a diagnoses but my point is, feeling this way, it doesn't last, it gets better and I know you've recently started counselling and it's very early days but hopefully, once the counselling gets going and you begin to open up to your counsellor, you'll gradually learn new ways to cope with your feelings in a healthy way and you'll begin to overcome things that upset you and trigger you. But like I said, that is going to take time.

The thoughts may be worse but that doesn't mean you need to act on them. I've probably said this to you before but the only person who can stop yourself from hurting yourself is you. I think sometimes that can be a hard concept to get our heads around. I know that when I was younger and people told me that, I honestly got angry with them because I believe I had no control but we all have control over our actions. You'll be the one to decide to hurt yourself. You'll be the one to pick up something to hurt yourself with and you're the one who does it and you are the only one who can stop it. And with support from us and from your counsellor, we can help support you through this, but you have to work with people too and let them in so they know what's going on for you right now.

How can things be better if you're dead? There wouldn't be anything to be better because you wouldn't be here. Just nothingness. However, if you beat this (which you can!) you can go on to have better. You can go on to have a future, to make something of yourself and to feel happiness and to be thankful for live and air. Just because it's hard every day now, doesn't mean there is no reason to keep going. Like I said, you have your whole future ahead of you. But you have to choose happiness over sadness and you have to choose recovery over destruction. And if you do and if you work hard you'll beat this.

Don't stop fighting. I know it's hard but I know you can get through this. You're honestly a really strong girl and I think you'll surprise yourself with your strength by the end of this. Remember, we're always here.

Hugs, Jessie. <3

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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