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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
Age: 28
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giving up? - October 31st 2012, 08:35 PM

I'm not sure what to do anymore....I'm really depressed about everything and I can't find any reason to keep trying and honestly what's worst is not being able to tell any of my friends about any of this....

I managed to tell one of my friends earlier that I have been feeling depressed for about a week now and he's noticed and he says he's there for me, but it's all rather complicated... he's one of my closest friends and he helped me get of this over the summer but it practically destroyed our friendship..and we just got it back and he doesn't feel comfortable talking about cutting and suicide...which I understand, but lately that is something that I am struggling with. Last night he did ask how the cutting situation was going and I just responded that I've been doing well....but it's still there and not having anybody to talk to about it sucks...and I know that if I even brought up suicide he would call the cops...so my thinking is I can't talk to him about those two topics...and I know that he also doesn't like to be around people who are constantly depressed, but I just, I need to talk and it doesn't help that I don't know know what to say....

I don't know what to do, I have notes, I could easily come up with a plan, I'm just at a loss...I promised myself I would hold on until I could speak with one of my professors (not on the subject of suicide) but everything else before I actually do anything....but I've lost basically everything and I don't know what to do.

all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

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purplemask Offline
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Name: Regina
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Re: giving up? - November 1st 2012, 02:35 AM

There are lots of hotlines that are toll free, maybe even some local ones around you. You could talk to them about anything and everything, and they genuinely want to help you and listen to you, and you don't have to feel like you're putting a friendship at risk. This is your one life, cherish it! Write a list of every beautiful thing you can think of, every reason for you to stay. Maybe look into some relaxation techniques, like meditation. Of course it will feel silly at first, but it may really help after a while. You could also go to your campus health center and talk to a counselor. Maybe even consider medication. Never be ashamed to get help. We're all deserving of a happy life, but sometimes we have to push ourselves to get there. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is also really good. There is hope, and there is help. Please, ask for help before thinking you have no where to go.
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