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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
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I thought it was over... guess I was wrong - November 1st 2012, 12:33 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, 15 days and I'm back again, asking for some mild support and comfort which shows how weak I am.... So, pain does end, it does, it really does, but I guess it isn't the end for me just yet.

I went back to my home yesterday for some peace and quiet (I pretty much wagged [truented, skipped] sport to do so). And I was just watching a movie, Passion of Christ or something like that. And I was watching but then I went into my room and I stood at the door for ten minutes, staring at the empty packet of aspirin, the paramedic had forgotten one of them. This packet was empty, tossed aside carelessly, my mind brought me back to that night. If I could share it, I would but not right now, I'm too weak to show the pain and suffering of that night. But, it just brought back all that pain. I thought I'd left it behind, but stress, insomnia, everything I had before....... is back.

Jay.


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Re: I thought it was over... guess I was wrong - November 1st 2012, 12:56 PM

I can relate to that feeling. I know once when I overdosed but was taken to hospital from school, I was in hospital for a few days and went home to find empty packets of tablets under my bed and it was hard to cope with.

But this only happened fifteen days ago and I know you've been struggling for much longer than that. You've been feeling a bit better over the past few weeks by the sounds of it which is really good, but it wasn't just going to. You know that. It takes time and hard work. What have you changed since you came out of hospital? Because if always go what you always did, you will very much so always get what you always got. Are you talking to your therapist openly? Are you letting people in and letting them support you through this? Have you been engaging in distraction techniques etc? Are you taking you medication (I think you're on some?) ? Are you getting out and making that effort? You have to make a lot of changes but you can do this. But remember, it's going to take time.

And by the way, you're not weak. You here fighting and asking for help and support which only proves the strength you have inside of you. You've been through a lot but you've come back fighting and I think that's really amazing and great. Remember, it's not going to last for ever. Make changes and give it time. You can do this. This isn't the end for you. If you keep fighting and working hard, you will get through this and have a future. And that future can be filled of things you want to do and achieve. You can have the future you want. It will be worth it.


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Re: I thought it was over... guess I was wrong - November 1st 2012, 02:02 PM

Jay, asking for support does not make you weak I can relate to this, I still have flashbacks of the day I overdosed and all the feelings I felt that day hit me strong. But you need to remind yourself that you can make it through this. You are strong Jay and you are not alone. I am always here for you






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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
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Re: I thought it was over... guess I was wrong - November 1st 2012, 11:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmolive View Post
But this only happened fifteen days ago and I know you've been struggling for much longer than that. You've been feeling a bit better over the past few weeks by the sounds of it which is really good, but it wasn't just going to. You know that. It takes time and hard work. What have you changed since you came out of hospital? Because if always go what you always did, you will very much so always get what you always got. Are you talking to your therapist openly? Are you letting people in and letting them support you through this? Have you been engaging in distraction techniques etc? Are you taking you medication (I think you're on some?) ? Are you getting out and making that effort? You have to make a lot of changes but you can do this. But remember, it's going to take time.

And by the way, you're not weak. You here fighting and asking for help and support which only proves the strength you have inside of you. You've been through a lot but you've come back fighting and I think that's really amazing and great. Remember, it's not going to last for ever. Make changes and give it time. You can do this. This isn't the end for you. If you keep fighting and working hard, you will get through this and have a future. And that future can be filled of things you want to do and achieve. You can have the future you want. It will be worth it.
I've been suffering with depression for about 3 years now....
I haven't been home, nor have I been with my mum. I've been staying with a friend and her parents. My mum had major surgery two days ago but will be back from across state next week so she'll want to see me and I can't deal with her right now...
Yeah, sort of, talking with my therapist is alright, but I did feel good and if I went back and said I was depressed again she would annoy me..
people have been nice, they've been great but it has now gotten old and they don't care anymore because they think I'm okay.
I have been reading a lot more, that is my distraction technique.
I wasn't prescribed pills and I've stopped taking my diamox and aspirin.... it isn't good.
I am focusing on my studies more than before, I am trying to make an effort, most days I'm lucky to get home for two minutes.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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