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jbh96 Offline
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My past haunts me.. - November 3rd 2012, 10:06 PM

So last year when i was a sophomore, i got into a fight with a Junior, first off this kid weighs about [X] and if i had to guess is about 6'3". I was about 5'7" as a sophomore and weighed about [X]. This kid stole my backpack as a joke i followed him trying to get it back and i just punched as i hard as i could in the face, his nose instantly started bleeding and he went to the ground i walked over and snatched my backpack i wasnt looking and he got up and totally beat the sh*t out of me. I know I threw the first punch but lets face it if i didnt people would have called me a pussy. so we both got suspended. when i came back to school i got A LOT of people making fun of me for getting beat up. everyday sucked considering 3 people recorded it and spread around facebook. Now I'm a junior everytime I see the kid at school i cringe and start shaking, theres been times at school he and his friends stared me down and im absolutely terrified of him iv never felt so much pain and embarrassment as i did that day. On my way to my 2nd period i pass by him everyday and he doesnt look at me and i dont look at him but for some reason i get scared, start to shake, and almost feel like vomiting. I dont know why, but i fear him so much. What's wrong with me? It sounds weird but just the thought of him or the sight of him ruins my day and i get depressed and want to cry.

Last edited by Palmolive; November 3rd 2012 at 11:16 PM. Reason: Removing weight numbers as they are not allowed on Teenhelp. :)
   
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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 12:20 AM

There's nothing wrong with you. I think you have an anxiety disorder, and this guy triggers you. Even though it was a year ago, it's hard to forget. Expeically when immature people record it and post it on facebook. Can you try to change your route to class? Maybe walk with a friend or something? I'll come back in a minute and post PTSD symptoms for you.


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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 12:26 AM

These are the main symptoms of PTSD
Reliving the event

Bad memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. You may feel the same fear and horror you did when the event took place. You may feel like you're going through the event again. This is called a flashback. Sometimes there is a trigger: a sound or sight that causes you to relive the event. Triggers might include:
  • Hearing a car backfire, which can bring back memories of gunfire and war for a combat veteran.
  • Seeing a car accident, which can remind a crash survivor of his or her own accident.
Avoiding situations that remind you of the event

You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event.
  • A person who was in an earthquake may avoid watching television shows or movies in which there are earthquakes.
  • A person who was robbed at gunpoint while ordering at a hamburger drive-in may avoid fast-food restaurants.
  • Some people may keep very busy or avoid seeking help. This keeps them from having to think or talk about the event.
Feeling numb

You may find it hard to express your feelings. This is another way to avoid memories.
  • You may not have positive or loving feelings toward other people and may stay away from relationships.
  • You may not be interested in activities you used to enjoy.
  • You may forget about parts of the traumatic event or not be able to talk about them.
Feeling keyed up

You may be alert and on the lookout for danger. This is known as increased emotional arousal. It can cause you to:
  • Suddenly become angry or irritable.
  • Have a hard time sleeping.
  • Have trouble concentrating.
  • Fear for your safety and always feel on guard.
  • Be very startled when someone surprises you.


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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 03:04 AM

Seriously i feel a lot of PTSD symptoms and actually i lied to my mom about one of my teachers so i could get my schedule changed so i didnt have the same lunch as him but problem is theres no way to avoid him on the way to 2nd period its a weird campus. My school is small.
   
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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 03:17 AM

Hey there mate, I know how you feel, but I was picked on for winning the fight. Yeah yeah, a girl was invovled in a punch up... It was against two others whom had been bullying me and I'd had enough, nearly cracked one of their skulls on a slab of concrete. BUt anyway, just ignore it, ignore him. Soon people will forget about it and leave you alone, and he can probably sense he's intimidating you so just relax, don't show how nervous you are and just walk with your head held high, not even looking in his direction.

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 04:38 AM

I know it was year ago its just the thought of him triggers it. Hell, one day i heard his first name and instantly i cringed.
   
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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 4th 2012, 04:45 AM

Maybe ask if you could move schools, intimidation like this isn't fun, trust me I can't say the um, season that begins with A because it triggers me to have a flashback of when she was bullying me horrendously. I hate how such a common name is said so repetively but I resort to the word fall instead even though I'm aussie.. But, you could also go to a councillor or a therapist and talk it out. Or you could PM/VM me and we can talk.

Stay strong,

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: My past haunts me.. - November 5th 2012, 02:57 AM

Honestly I can't go to a therapist nor can I even go to my parents can someone help me cope, this whole weekend I can't stop thinking about what happened. I can't let go I had a panic attack earlier.
   
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