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Killionaire Offline
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There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 05:08 PM

My life is truly meaningless and pointless, now. If you look at my previous posts, there have been tons of times where I lamented about how things were getting worse and worse, and now I'm a mentally-destroyed 19-year-old, and things can't get any worse.

My entire family is broken up. It's just me and my mother who has health problems, and will probably pass within the next few years. We're flat broke and can't afford to pay for everything, so usually if we want to pay the rent, we'll have to sacrifice something. Due to our financial situation getting worse, I can't go to school, so I need to work....though I'm not working for myself. I have to give all my money towards the house/bills, and I'll be working full-time, so I'll literally be miserable for 4-5 days a week just so I can "enjoy" two days a week of loneliness.

I'm literally stuck in life. While all my old friends are in college, enjoying themselves, I'm stuck in a crap house, forced to work in a place that'll drive me nuts just so I can give all my money away.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 05:32 PM

Hi, there. I'm Kayla. I'd like to start off by saying this sounds very hard and I'm sorry that life isn't going well for you right now.

But, I am a optimist. Now, I see this situation getting better. You may not, but I do. Sometimes we have to sacrifice what we want for what we need. Instead of looking at how 'good' others have it, look at how bad some others do. Look at those in third world countries who don't even have fresh water. People whose children die everyday from diseases that they can't cure because they don't have the money.

It could be worse. I would suggest making the most of it and looking toward the future. The harder you work, the better your outcome. If you go into something with a negative attitude, you're going to reap what you sow. So don't do that. Don't be that person. Be positive and have a optimistic view of the future. You have hope. There is a reason for you to live and there always will be. Don't give up, no matter what you go through. Because you know what? You're strong. You're smart. And you're the only one who can change your future. The future is only as grim as we perceive it to be, so look ahead with your head held high and accept every challenge and don't let anything take you down.

I know it's hard now, but it will improve with time and the right steps.

PM me if you need anything.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
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Killionaire Offline
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 05:48 PM

In the past two years alone, I've had several family members and friends die and become estranged. We've had to move from bad house to worse house to an even worse house in a crappy neighborhood.

I literally can't do a thing because I need to give all my money away towards rent. It's hard to look to the future when you know you don't have one.
   
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Reign. Offline
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 05:56 PM

I didn't have a future a while back. I was being abused and was severely depressed, had attempted suicide 3 times, and was a cutter for the last 5 years.

But I changed that.

And I can understand the loss of your family/friends, and I am very deeply sorry to hear that. But you can't let that stop you from living. Situations change.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Killionaire Offline
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 06:05 PM

Were you knee-deep in poverty, though? As much as I dislike money, my family's horrible luck with finances has led me to not be open to opportunities.
   
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Reign. Offline
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 7th 2012, 09:47 PM

Let me tell you a little story;

I may not have been 'knee-deep' as you put it in poverty, but I was 4. I remember it. My dad was in court for something he didn't do but was charged with it anyway. He got put in jail. I can't remember for how long, but to my understanding, it was around 4/5 months.

We had credit cards sure. But that didn't hold up for long. We have a not-so-good house and we were going to lose it. We were 3 months behind on mortgage payments and they were threatening to foreclose. We barely had money to eat. It was summer. My mom and I had to walk a full 10 miles in the Texas weather of 110degrees just to get milk and bread.

Okay. No, flash forward to now. My dad got laid off, for 7 months he couldn't find a job. We barely had money to eat. My mom was taking care of my disabled grandmother on top of everything. Barely had money to pay bills, but you know what? We put our trust in God and (whether you're a religious person or not) in the bible, it speaks of how God will provide 'his people' (Those putting faith in him and doing their utmost to serve him) with everything they needed. Maybe not what they 'wanted' in a material sense, but needed. And that's how we got through it.

Okay. Recently, my dad got into a car accident. Had 5 cracked ribs, a broken bone in his hand and 100 stitches, was in the hospital for a week.

He's recovering well, and you know how we got through worrying about making it and wondering how we're going to survive? Through our putting faith in what we believe in.

________________
Now, whether you're religious or not, whatever you put faith in should be able to pull you through. Whether it be in yourself, or God.
It's also a matter of speaking to yourself kindly. Treating yourself kindly and not letting things take you down. It may be hard, and it may take all your energy out of you, but you will make it through it.

Have you applied for food stamps or any other kind of Government assistance?



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Killionaire Offline
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 8th 2012, 01:54 AM

We're renting our house, and we live in a part of the country where the rent/property tax is very high. We can't move because of my mom's job.

I've told her to try to apply for assistance, but according to her, she makes too much money for welfare but not enough money to get by, due to a loophole with the state thinking my father pays child support.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Reign. Offline
Just Hold On We're Going Home~
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Re: There isn't any point in going on. - November 9th 2012, 03:09 PM

Well honey, I'm sorry. You're going through a lot right now. But you need to stay strong and keep your chin up and be positive. Even though it is very hard. I understand. Believe me, I do. And I'm sorry you're having to go through this. But it will get better. You just have to have faith in yourself.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
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