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k. - November 7th 2012, 10:02 PM

I really have no idea what I'm doing.. I spend every waking minute thinking about suicide because there isn't any other way to make all this shit go away.. Everyday is effort and I just don't see the point of my life anymore. My future seems so hopeless and I know, I KNOW I'm gonna end up just like him and I'd rather put a bullet through my fucking head than become that.

I'm trying so bloody hard to change but it doesn't work. I'm always ending up here again. I've tried distractions after distractions but they don't work. (And I can't tell anybody)

When does this end, when can I be happy again? What do I do?
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Re: k. - November 10th 2012, 08:21 PM

Hey there,

I don't think that you necessarily will end up just like anyone. You will end up perfect, beautiful, smart, and all around wonderful. You won't grow up to be like him, but instead you can use that as your motivation to continue to be a great person, to succeed. You can look at it and keep your head held high, knowing that you are NOT going to fall victim to his ways, that you are going to be better. And you WILL be better.That way, you can look back and be proud of yourself. Be the person you want to be.

Your future isn't hopeless at all. You have a hell of a lot of goals to complete, things to do, and people to meet. There is ALWAYS something to keep smiling about, ALWAYS. Even if it is something small, those small things do build up. I'm sure there is something in any day to smile about, so when you smile or have a happy moment, why not write it down? Write down those good things and then look back at them and know that there is always something good to come. It may not be easy, but that effort will pay off, and you can look back and realize you got out of that long tunnel and made it big.

Why not call a hotline? Here's a whole lot of them, and the UK is there too. You can talk to them without a risk of being judged or yelled at. They're there to help. I know you may think that you can't tell anyone, but there are so many people out there that love and care about you. I love and care about you. You don't have to hold it all inside or go this alone. It's okay to reach out.

Please stay strong. There is always something worth sticking around for. I know that you may think that there is no end in sight, but this will get better and it will be worth the fight. You will be happy again someday.


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Re: k. - November 10th 2012, 09:00 PM


I think it's really great that you've been trying distractions again and again. And if you haven't found anything that helps you yet, know that there will be something out there which will but this is a trial and error process and it's very important that you don't give up on everything because you haven't found anything very helpful yet. I know it can get frustrating but you need to keep n trying new and different things.

Saying that, using distractions only go so far. Clearly there is some reason as to why you're feeling this way and until you start to deal with the underlying problem then you can use all the distractions in the world but you'll never feel 'better'. Do you know why you feel low? Has anything happened to cause you to feel this way? If there is something, and you'd like to talk to someone about it, know that we're here for you and we'll try to help you. Of course there are other things that can make people feel low and 'depressed' such as physical reasons but you'd have to see your doctor for tests etc.

You have to make changes to see a change. And I think one of the biggest hurdles for a lot of people, is overcoming that underlying problem. Going into therapy might really help you if this is an on-going problem. But until you reach out and get that support to help you through this and start to over come the problem, I think it's unlikely you're going to feel better. Don't get me wrong, people beat depression etc with out support from mental health professionals but I think most people find it helpful to have someone helping support and guide them through what they are going through. Do you have anyone you can talk too?

If you really want to get better and you start to make changes and overcome these underlying problems, there's no reason to why you can't begin to feel better and beat this. It is possible but you are going to have to work hard and let people help you when you need support. And you will get there, it's just going to take some time. This isn't going to last forever.

I hope things start to look up for you.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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