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entangledmind Offline
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Name: Sarah
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: the dark abiss of my mind. the only place left untouched by unwanted company

Posts: 64
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Join Date: October 17th 2012

Apathy - November 11th 2012, 06:20 AM

I feel kind of apathetic and depressed. My life is fine right now. I feel fine. But I'm afraid to be happy so it won't hurt when I hit rock bottom though. I kind of wish I was doing bad again. It's like I'm so familiar with it that without it's so weird.
God I'm such a mess.

I tell people i'm
tired. But in reality

i'm just sad.


Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted

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Lavinia Offline
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Age: 30
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Join Date: November 12th 2012

Re: Apathy - November 12th 2012, 05:50 PM

I understand you. I used (maybe still do) to feel afraid of happiness too. As if I couldn't handle the sadness if it ever came back. And I thought, why am I torturing myself when I am given the opportunity to be happy? But the fear still lingered, I've read some psychology and looked around and understood that this must be some sort of post traumatic stress (self diagnose, not a doctor!), because it just stayed with me, even though things were fine. I looked around at people and then I have seen that yes, some can be happy without fear. They actually can. So what I think is that it is mostly up to you. It is a fear that you must face. If you overcome it, you become more mature.

It is also wrong to believe that your fear might help you. It is a trap and I beg you not to fall into it. It is the sure way to fall into sadness and therefore DO NOT play with your feelings, please. Do not think you will be able to snap out of it. Few times, you will. It will make you feel like playing with fire. It will give you a strange sense of control. But if you keep doing it, you might reach a point when you will no longer be able to snap out of it. Then you will have to get diagnosed and realize you have depression and you just don't know what caused it. Repetition caused it! Just please never make a habit to dwell into negative emotions. It is the biggest ever trap, a psychological trap. This is what makes people fail and induce self sabotage. Life is how you make it. Successful people focus on success. Happy people focus on happiness. Family people focus on family and kids. Life many times depends on what is going on in your mind. Make sure you keep your mind clean and positive. Otherwise it can trap you so so easily. Be strong!!!! Have the strength to do things well, and I'm sending u lots of love to keep you motivated xxxx
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