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Alwayshidden Offline
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Life and relapse - November 16th 2012, 08:25 PM

Not long ago, I had the worst relapse I've ever experienced and started cutting again. I'd cry every night and I'd isolate myself. After a while, I began feeling better. But I'd still put myself down. I'm very critical of my actions. I considered numbing my pain with drugs and alcohol. My friends wanted me to anyway so, why not? I was sick of sadness. But my ex and I got into a fight about it and I realized that it could be worse, he was worse off i and yet he was getting better and dealing with it better than I was. I told myself Id heal for the sake of us both. But because of a problem in having with him, I feel cut off from the only person I could confide in, my motivation, and it makes me sad. I feel like I'll just have another relapse like always. Maybe worse than the last. I have no support system anymore and there's no one I trust. I want to be happy and carefree but I'm always so up tight and conservative. I don't know where to begin to get better. I can't even speak to my family because they trigger me with their comments. They don't even know I've been struggling with depression all my life. I keep it that way because they wouldn't understand. And I've never been close to them nor do I yearn to be close.
But the problem is that I don't know what to do to prevent another relapse when I've got no one to turn to. I'm isolated. And I don't have anybody to help push me forward anymore. It's just like when I relapsed before except my ex isn't there to pick up the pieces with me. I don't want to be sad anymore..any advice?
   
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Reign. Offline
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Re: Life and relapse - November 29th 2012, 04:45 PM

Honey, thank you for having to courage to come to us here at TeenHelp.

You mentioned being isolated, and I understand that. It's hard. And it makes things worse.

But, I'd like to remind you, that even though you're isolated in your personal, every day life - That here, you're not isolated. You have many people here wanting to help you. Including myself. So here, you're not alone.

And whenever you feel as if you're going to relapse, think about all the reasons you don't need to cut.
I know that (being a recovered cutter myself) cutting is a very strong, powerful addiction.
But that doesn't mean that you can't not cut.
You have the willpower and strength inside you to resist those urges to hurt yourself. Because believe me, you can win that fight.

It's really a mind-over-matter type of thing.
You put your mind to knowing and forcing yourself to know and believe that you're better than that and that you can take down cutting, instead of it taking you down.

And no matter what, NEVER ever stop for anyone else. You have to do it for you. For your own health. And if you really want to stop, then you'll know what I'm meaning.
Whenever you truly know that you can live life without being torn down by those urges, and that you're strong and that you can fight through it and make it out on the other side, THAT is when you know you're doing for your own good.

I hope that you'll PM me anytime if you ever feel sad or lonely or if you're having urges.

I wish you the best.
~Kay. :3



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?

Last edited by Reign.; November 29th 2012 at 04:46 PM. Reason: Correcting Grammar.
   
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