TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
who_cares Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
who_cares's Avatar
 
Name: Zohaib Khawaja
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Texas

Posts: 4
Join Date: November 17th 2012

Thumbs down No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:14 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I just feel like ending it all.

The formalities first:
I'm a 16-year old fat, ugly, hideous beast who can't get a grade higher than an 82 on a test for my life. I can make friends but they end up stop talking to me in about half a month because I guess I make them look bad.

I've had to move because I ended up in a bathroom sitting to myself during lunch when a teacher found me and threatened to give me detention if I didn't simply sit with my friend. After saying that I have no one to sit with, he took me to the front (WHY was running through my brain) and asked if anyone would like me to sit next to them. After three minutes of utter silence he called them all morons and walked off the stage. I was already off because I didn;t want to be seen for too long, but I kind of already predicted the outcome of that.


I've been ruling out possibilities of my terrible social status (ruled out being a minority, too tall/small, personality, and habits/hobbies (I have none))


My parents just want to kill me. With absolutely nothing left to take away, they resort to name-calling and 'verbal abuse' (I use quotations because I'm not sure what the 'normality". The only reason I actually played video games is so that I seem 'normal'. My sisters both get straight A's and have friends over/gone to a friend's house pretty much everyday, even the 6-year-old one. The only interest I have is DragonBall Z, and it's the reason I haven't 'seriously' attempted suicide yet (quotations because I've set the noose up but changed my mind).

Know that common meme "Bad Luck Brian"? I feel like the living embodiement of that person.

I don't even care about my future anymore, I'm stuck making sure my parents are satisfied in the present.

I've ran away twice but both times my parents went to reclaim me from the orphanage. Now I'm not allowed outside the house with supervision.

I constantly get my hopes up (kind of like the reason as to why I've written this pile of sob shit) thinking people give a damn, but always convince myself otherwise.

If you weren't interested (which none of you were in the first place) then my life can be summed up into one sentence: Kill me.

I know I sound like a whiny 3-year-old, but I've managed to stop feeling pain/anguish/whatever when I am made fun of. I've gotten into many fights for almost no reason, and I've never run away. I've taken the beating more times than I can count and I have a permanently injured kneecap, broken knuckles, and a terrible sense of balance now. I feel like a veteran boxer, can barely walk straight without leaning like a moron.

Why continue living if all you do is cause pain and loss of hope in others? I mean it's not likeI'll be missed.



I have a foot-and-a-half long 4-inch wide rope that's almost gauranteed success under my bed and I'm seriously tempted to use it. I'm just scared that news will get out and I'll be even more of a burden to my parents and school-mates.

Somebody convince me otherwise, I beg of you.

Last edited by who_cares; November 17th 2012 at 11:39 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:21 PM

Hey there,

For one, I CARE!

Secondly, suicide is never the answer, I attempted 33 days ago (wow, been so long...) and it just isn't worth it. It'll end up hurting a lot more people than just yourself. It just isn't the solution.
You can make something of yourself, if you don't have any hobbies, get one. I know depression limits your likes, but push yourself to do something more, and maybe even go to a therapist and talk it all out.

Seriously, feel free to PM/VM me if you ever want to talk. Because I'm here for you

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:33 PM

Hey there,

It doesn't even have to be outdoors, you could always find a course which will excell your knowledge on a certain thing you enjoy. Or join a club which only meets every saturday or something?

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
who_cares Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
who_cares's Avatar
 
Name: Zohaib Khawaja
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Texas

Posts: 4
Join Date: November 17th 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope To Cope View Post
Hey there,

For one, I CARE!

Secondly, suicide is never the answer, I attempted 33 days ago (wow, been so long...) and it just isn't worth it. It'll end up hurting a lot more people than just yourself. It just isn't the solution.
You can make something of yourself, if you don't have any hobbies, get one. I know depression limits your likes, but push yourself to do something more, and maybe even go to a therapist and talk it all out.

Seriously, feel free to PM/VM me if you ever want to talk. Because I'm here for you

Jay.
__________________________________________________ ____________


Thanks for the motivation and advice, honestly, but I'd participate way more than I do now if only my parents would allow me. They believe that "fun is the reason why [my] grades are despicable" and won't allow me to leave the house (for reasons stated above) or participate in extracurricular activities.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:38 PM

What the heck? I thought my mum was strange

Well, maybe lie about what you do? Or when you go to a friends go out somewhere, if they play footy whenever they train/play go over.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
who_cares Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
who_cares's Avatar
 
Name: Zohaib Khawaja
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Texas

Posts: 4
Join Date: November 17th 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope To Cope View Post
What the heck? I thought my mum was strange

Well, maybe lie about what you do? Or when you go to a friends go out somewhere, if they play footy whenever they train/play go over.

Jay.
It's the reason I decided to attempt to run away. I feel like bad parenting is one of the reasons why some children don't get the 'love' they need, but I've learned to live without.

As for the visiting friends advice, refer to line 3 I believe.
I'm pretty much trapped in this house-shaped hell-hole
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 17th 2012, 11:49 PM

Yeah, running away doesn't help either, been there, done that.

I'm sorry to hear. Maybe ask if you could have a schedule? That you study for say an hour and then go do whatever you want?

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
who_cares Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
who_cares's Avatar
 
Name: Zohaib Khawaja
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Texas

Posts: 4
Join Date: November 17th 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 18th 2012, 12:38 AM

I just went to go ask them for one, and to see if it was flexible or not, and my dad's at work and my mom just asked if I had the grades to deserve the right to demand changes in her schedule, which the answer is obviously no. It took some time because she managed to cram 16 years of her life into a brief hour of a pretty cool facts and experiences.

By the by, your second quote can be a reference to running away/suicide (if Hindu/believe in reincarnation) but that's if you look to deep into it.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: No one's gonna read this, so why bother? - November 18th 2012, 12:45 AM

Maybe ask a family member if they could talk some sense into your parents?

I didn't know that. I look at it as when you're going through something and get stuck, find a way to restart. For example, when I get to a road block in my writing, I look for a reason to start over.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
bother, gonna, read

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.