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Nemma Offline
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I don't know what to do... - November 18th 2012, 07:07 AM

Hello

I am not really sure how to start this. I am 19 years old currently in university. Needing someone to talk to in my family has always been deemed a weakness so I didn't really know who to turn to. I am going through a phase in my life (if you can call 4 years a phase) where I seem to constantly be alone. I don't want to be alone and I make an effort to meet people and I have no problem socializing with people during school but at the end of the day i'm always alone... I don't understand why I have this need to cut people off when they want to get to know me i'll make up some story so they'll back off because I have too much "baggage". I don't understand how i can be so self destructive when all I want is someone. I dated this guy in highschool and we started drinking too much and experimenting with drugs and things got out of hand. I decided I wanted out I wanted to go to college and live but he just got violent he wouldn't let go and things go pretty bad for about a year. For some reason I can't let go and I don't know why. I've become this person I hate, i've gained a lot of weight on my birthday I sat in my bedroom all night alone. I am angry all the time and I don't know why and all I want is for someone to tell me everything is okay and for someone to sincerely see me happy again but night after night I am here alone... I don't know what to do...
   
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Re: I don't know what to do... - November 21st 2012, 11:49 AM

I think the first thing you have to start with is think about the possible reason(s) why even though you socialize well with people you feel that there is no one who is very close to you. Once you are clear about the problems you are facing you can concentrate on dealing with them.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do... - November 21st 2012, 05:02 PM

Hey Nemma


Firstly,


I am going to move your thread to the Depression and Suicide Forum as I feel that you will receive better replies there. If you want it moved somewhere else, feel free to let me know or the Moderators of that Forum.


Talking to someone is not a weakness at all. It is good to talk and let out your feelings every once in a while. Keeping them in is not very healthy and leads to a number of problems. Have you tried to talk someone outside your family like a counselor? They are good, unbiased listeners and you can freely talk to them about anything without the fear of being judged.

Why do you push people away? Try to recognize your fears. Once you know what you are afraid of you can work on them. When we are sad and feel low, it is important that we not isolate ourselves. I know that you don't want to be alone and still you feel like pushing people away. But in the long run, you must tell yourself to talk to people, for your own good. You deserve to feel so much better than this. Try to move out, make new friends, meet new people. Take up some project to keep you busy. You can join cookery classes or dance or basically any other hobby classes that you enjoy. Or you can volunteer somewhere.

You don't have to be alone. This is not how life needs to be for you. You can be happy and lively again. All you need to do is make some effort. Reach out and talk to people. There are many people who would love to help you. You are free to talk to people on this site, and of course, you can always send me a message on here.

Take care and stay strong





"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
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Re: I don't know what to do... - November 21st 2012, 10:26 PM

Hey, I have a similar issue of always feeling alone and excluding your self from others but not knowing why, (I know why I do it) but I can't seem to change it. It's something that is hard to figure out but even harder to change I find because your so used to secluding your self.
Definately try talking to someone else about it even if you talk to them about the same thing 100 times it doesn't matter, because that just means it isn't fully off your chest yet, and maybe once you have gotten everything out from when you were in the relationship you may be able to start feeling less lonely. maybe you dont let people too close because theres trust issues.

If you need to talk to anyone about anything you can message me but talking is the best way forward I believe
   
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