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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Josiejade Offline
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Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I'm not here - November 21st 2012, 09:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Feeling so low at the moment, my mum has depression my brother has depression and self harms, and I am waiting diagnosis on depression.
Everything is just so overwhelming, with my mum who used to be an alcoholic expects me to do everything at home. I moved home after moving away to uni as my boyfriend broke up with me and I wanted to be home. I spend an hour and a half driving too and from uni and I only have one supportive friend at home but she works and obviously has other friends.
The breakup is really hard there are kids involved and mind games are getting played and I'm getting made out to be the bad person when I havent done anything but get hurt by people who I thought cared.
I never thought I would ever think about taking my own life but recently things have gotten too much to bare and when I'm driving to and from uni I feel like purposely crashing, every song I listen to I seem to take it so badly whether its a song on my CD or on the radio. anything that people says doesnt make a difference. I don't feel like this every day, but most days I do feel like it's not worth it anymore and life is just too hard.

I don't know what to do anymore, and no one will listen they just say it could be worse or you'll get over it, or stop attention seeking.
   
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cynefin Offline
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Re: Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I'm not here - November 21st 2012, 11:44 PM

Hey there

I know how it feels. Major Depressive disorder runs in my family along with anxiety. I've got it, and my parents have it. My little brother is too young yet for the diagnosis.

If you only have one supportive friend, then defintely come on TH! We'll all support you. A lot of us have been through similar things and we can offer an ear.

It's said often, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you can't find a reason to live, keep adding them. Start with your children. You wouldn't want them growing up saying, "Well my mother killed herself when I was younger, so I don't remember her much." That's what I told myself after my last suicide attempt (November first) because that's when my cousin was born.

I know, right! I totally understand that. Whenever I try to talk to someone it's all about the starving children in other countries. You know, eating disorders are more common in countries where there actually is food available, sorry to change subject. If they haven't gone through it themselves, they won't understand. One good friend is better than ten crappy friends.

Hang in there <3


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Re: Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I'm not here - November 22nd 2012, 07:37 AM

Hi
Dealing with major depresive disorders, is a hard thing to do. I had a couple friend, I could depend on but I figured they would just leave like everyone else did, Once they say my bad side. I was finally diagonsed with Bipolar at the age of 18, after being told that I was just depressed. those 2 friends r still here beside me. But all it take is 1 friend. Reach out to that 1 friend. Or if needed feel free to message me. I would be happy to lend an ear. Just remember you are NEVER alone!!!
   
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Re: Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I'm not here - November 22nd 2012, 02:17 PM

Hello, Josie, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time at home. Have you tried talking to a counselor? They'll be more attentive and supportive than friends and family. They'll give you legit support and advice.

There are things worth living for. You're in college, focus on your education and the goal you want to accomplish in life.
   
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Re: Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I'm not here - November 23rd 2012, 08:09 AM

Hello, I understand your feelings and story completely, stay strong and life will present itself with many wonderful and incredible opportunities. Times may be hard now but stay strong and you will succeed. Try to find the things that make you happy, that's what I always do. Suicide is never the answer, if you feel down then try talking to someone like a therapist.

Stay strong, if you need anyone to talk to I am ALWAYS here for you.

-Matthew
   
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