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EssenceOfElixir Offline
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Tired - November 22nd 2012, 09:20 PM

I'm so tired. I just want to give up, I nearly did. I ran myself a bath. I made sure it was deep. When I got in, I didn't feel too bad, I thought I was just relaxing. Then I started to find it difficult to move my arms. I couldn't seem to work up the energy to do anything, it took all of my willpower just to keep my head above the water. I eventually managed to pull the plug out and drain the water but as so as I did that I pretty much gave in. I let my head fall nearly under the water, I would probably have gone completely under if the water hadn't drained away first. When it drained, I just lay in the bath. I don't know how long was there for exactly but I think it was something close to 30 minutes. It started with me having difficulty breathing. Then my arms started to tingle as it got more difficult. After that I was just lying there. I was barely breathing, sometimes catching myself not breathing for extended periods of time. I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't move anything. I really wanted to give up, I just wanted to stop breathing. All that's stopping me from going downstairs and slitting my wrists is the fact that my mums downstairs. I just want to give up. My life isn't what I want it to be and I'm so very tired. I don't hope anymore. I've lost hope.

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Reign. Offline
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Re: Tired - November 24th 2012, 07:59 PM

Matt, Honey, Hope is everything, and you have hope.
You are strong. And I am so very proud of you for not giving up! Believe me, giving up is never the answer whenever your life isn't working out the way it was planned. Never ever forsake yourself and your purpose for living and breathing and walking on this earth right now.
If there wasn't a reason for you to be alive, then you wouldn't be. You would never have been born if there wasn't a purpose for you to live.
But see, you've got to find that reason all on your own. You have to take your inner strength and follow your heart and run with it. No one else can do that for you. No one else can live for you and there is only one YOU. So don't give up on yourself! You're strong and amazing. You've made it this far! And believe me, I can see you going places in life. You just have to find where life can take you.

I'd like to say that you can PM me anytime and I'll be there for you. I wish you the best. ~Kayla.

So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Tired - November 25th 2012, 02:36 PM

Hi there :-)

I'm really glad you've found it in you to ask us for help here at Teenhelp. I know that reaching out to people can be very hard but you've done it and that's great. It really makes me believe that you want to be better and that you want help and I'm glad about that.

Can I ask you whether you know if anything is triggering you feeling so low or triggering the suicidal thoughts that you are currently having? If there is something that is bothering you and you'd like to talk to us know that we're here for you any time. I know talking can be hard but just remember that we're not here to judge you or anything like that. We're simply here to listen, support and to try and help you as much as we can.

I know that everything seems really hard right now and I can imagine that the place you're in at the moment is a dark one, scary and that you probably feeling a little lonely there at times. But this can and it will get better for you. Feeling this way and thinking this way is not going to last for ever. You can start to feel better and live a happier life. It is possible but you're going to have to keep on going and you're going to have to fight really really hard to get there. Some days you're going to want to give up but you have to keep going. Only you are in control of your actions, so take that control and beat it.

I don't know if you have anyone to talk to back home so here is a list of people who can help you and here is a list of helplines. I know reaching out can be scary but people can help you and be there for you okay? So don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help because I bet you more than anything that people around you want to be there to support you but they can only do so if they know what is going on for you right now.

I hope this helps a little, keep holding on. You can do this.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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