What's the point?

[Allyboo]

I've been depressed for so long, struggling with self harm. I wish I was dead. I've come so close to doing it before. I used to want to get help, but now I just want to disappear. Why not just make the world better and swallow a bottle of pills? Everybody's life would be easier. Clearly I'm not worth anything, since I only have like two friends and my dad verbally abuses me. Nobody cares. Nobody would miss me if I was gone. So why shouldn't I?

[Palmolive]

Hi there

Firstly, I want to tell you that you've done really well by coming to us here at Teenhelp. I know that some people find it really hard to open up to people but you've done it and I think that's a really positive step in the right direction. I'm glad you've come to us and I hope we can help you in some way.

Even though a lot of people use self harm to help them cope, self harm can also be a hard thing to cope with. Do you want to tell me what triggers the urges to self harm? I think it might help you to take a look here where you will find a good long list of alternatives to self harm. Admittedly not every single thing on this list is going to help you and this is going to be about trial and error for a while until you find things which do help you. Don't give up and stop trying when something doesn't help, okay? Keep trying new and different things. Distracting ourselves in that moment when we have urges can be really helpful.

You've come here for support which really proves to me that you want life and that part of you really wants help. And I honestly think that's great and something you need to think about. I know that suicidal thoughts are really hard to deal with but they're just thoughts, okay? They're not going to hurt you and you can beat them and overcome them. I know that if I found out something had happened to you, I'd be very sad. You've let us in to your story to try and help you and that's what I want to be able to do - help you. Why? Because I care, because I know you're strong and because I believe in you. I know that if you set your mind to it, you can get through this. You have your whole life ahead of you and you still have so much to do and so much to experience. You're honestly worth so much and people do love and care about you.

Do you have anyone to talk to? Perhaps it'd be worth thinking about talking to someone and asking for some help. You can talk to family, friends, a teacher, a school nurse/counsellor of even your doctor. All of these people care about you and they all want to help and even better, they can help you get through this but in order for them to do so you need to open up to them and let them in to how you're feeling and what's going on for you. They can't help you if they don't know what's going on. And you can be honest with these people. They are on your side, they want to be there and they want to help you.

I hope this some what helps. Just remember that you're not alone and that you're loved, okay? Don't stop fighting because you're worth so much.
Jessie