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I deal with emotional neglect and it's killing me - November 24th 2012, 12:57 AM

I face emotional neglect mainly from my mother and somewhat my father, my mother I don't know, once upon a time we got along great and there are episodes where she might give me a little affection, nowadays something is always wrong with me, I need top notch grades, if I get sick my mother would worry about grades or others instead, I rarely get hugs and kisses or any motherly attention since 8 years old, my little brother often get's attention as such, I looked it up on what it was it says it's not my fault and that it's still abuse if I don't get emotional comfort, I've been bullied and lonely for years, I'm always insecure, I don't want to bother my father, I'm a non gay guy and asking your dad for help is dumb, my father is constantly busy tired and probably depressed himself, he deals with alot of things on a daily basis it'd be selfish to go pester him, he has a temper and I'm afraid he'd burst onto me as well, I suffer from constant chest pains, it'd hurt alot and I can't breathe right, one time my mom gave me small attention but I got the same 'deal with it' or 'your gonna take anti dperesetns and go crazy take it like a man' Im still grateful for the food water and no beatings, though I can't help but feel I'm bad, I used to be bullied and made fun of, now it's better after going to a high school a little far, I need help I'm confused I suffer from constant chest pain, I would go on a fiction websites and would be glued and addicted to stories about neglected kids being adopted and getting motherly and some fatherly attention, I just want to know if what's happening to me is bad because I have everything I need, my brother gets attention and love, so is it my fault? am I a burden?
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Reign. Offline
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Re: I deal with emotional neglect and it's killing me - November 24th 2012, 07:45 PM

Hey honey, I'm Kayla.
I understand where you're coming from, I suffer emotional neglect from my mother as well.
Let me tell you, It's NEVER your fault. And no, you are NOT a burden!
Don't ever feel that way.
I did for a long time, and I realized that I was letting it control my life. So don't let the neglect control who you are and how you feel about yourself. Please don't, because it can destroy you and I wouldn't want to see that happen to you. -hugs-
Believe me, you will find your own (healthy) ways to deal with it and you'll find your own strength.
I hope you know that you can come to me for anything, if you wanna chat feel free to PM/VM me anytime!

I wish you the best, and I hope things improve for you.

So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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