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Ninjacat Offline
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Exclamation Depressed and unsure. HELP - November 24th 2012, 07:42 PM

I am honestly tired.
It has been hard for me to make a decision on where to go. I am lost and I think I'm depressed.
I grew up with a brother who is 5 years ahead of me. We both had to deal with my mom who came down with a disability and the divorce of our parents. My mom's disability is rare and it is a leg disorder and she is currently in a wheel chair. About 3 years ago we moved out of our house and into an apartment. My brother went to live with his dad and I went to live with my mom. These past few years were extremely stressful. My mom can't do much around the house anymore and I don't know how to focus on helping her and to focus in school at the same time. And the problems this week happened too fast for me.

-She ended up going in the emergency because she couldn't get off her bed. Like she couldn't move.
-She can't drive anymore(I can't either)
-I have been failing tests
-My grandparents had to come over here while I was at school because she can't do anything while she's alone.
-I missed my 1st hour class 3 times because my mom couldn't get off the toilet. Sounds silly, but it was really hard to see her break down like that.

I just don't know it I can keep up with this...

Now I don't want to commit suicide(and I never thought this) but I am defiantly getting depressed. I feel sluggish and I am emotionally tired.
It is so hard to watch my mom struggle and cry.

What should I do?
Is it bad to want to move out and do things I want to do?

I'm afraid that if I move out to my dad's place she is going to think that he is taking me away from her. I also don't want to see her go into a nursery home because that will kill her inside.


Last edited by Ninjacat; November 24th 2012 at 07:56 PM.
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Re: Depressed and unsure. HELP - November 25th 2012, 07:41 AM

Hi! :3

I'm sorry to hear about this. It must be very conflictive. You seem very caring to wanna make sure your mom is okay but still do your own thing. It's not bad because you just
wanna grow and be a teenager. I also think you should talk to your mom about this too. Tell her you're failing your tests and that you love her and wanna help her out and stay
with her but you just need more options.
Can you move in with your grandparents with your mom there too? Or your mom move in with grandparents so they can watch over her while you're at school or out? Can you
call your brother and talk to him about it and see if he has any ideas?
Depression can lead to suicidal thoughts so it's best to resolve things that are bothering you before all the little things pile up.
Hope I helped!

I hope it works out for you and your family is alright.

~ Christabel
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: Depressed and unsure. HELP - November 25th 2012, 03:16 PM

Hi there :-)

Frsitly, I'm really sorry that you've been going through a really tough time recently. I do things its brilliant that you've reached out to us for some help and I think you've done a really brave thing by coming to us here at Teenhelp.

A while I go, I wrote an article for young carers called caring for a loved one which you can find here. I decided to write this because like yourself, I've been a young carer for my mum and sister and it was incredibly hard, especially caring for my mum. But I want you to know that you're not alone in this. There are people out there who can help both you and your mum and who can support you through this and maybe now is the time you get you both some support to help you out. Take a look at the article because I did explain how you get receive support and I think that might be something that will be very helpful to you and your mum.

Now, I want to tell you that taking some time out for yourself each day is very important. Even if its just half an hour each day. Take some time out to get a bath, to go for a walk, to meet a friend, to watch a film, to read and so on. Anything that you enjoy and that might make you feel better. You honestly deserve some time out for yourself and I think it's really important that you do so.

Hang on in there, okay? I know all of this is very hard for you but it can and it will get better for you both. Please try and get some help and support for yourselves though because you deserve it more than anything. For what it's worth I think your mum is really lucky to have you but I also think its important that you know looking after your mum and everything else that comes a long with it is not your responsibility and there are people who can take that responsibility of you, okay? Don't be afraid to ask for some help.

You can do this, keep smiling.
Hugs. <3

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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