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BobbiedotLeOtaku November 26th 2012 03:11 PM

How am I still alive?!
First off: I'm suicidal.

I just... I don't know. It's not that I want to end my suffering. It's that I feel the world would be far better without me. What purpose would a loving God have for someone as fucked up as me?

And not only that... I don't care at all about myself! I don't see any future for myself. If I think of myself even for a few seconds I feel like a narcissist and that I don't deserve the things I have. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I apologize for EVERY slip-up, like someone will get mad at me if I don't. I try to please everyone EXCEPT myself and I just can't do it anymore :'(

Reign. November 26th 2012 04:30 PM

Re: How am I still alive?!
Hey, Roy.
I understand being suicidal. I was for about 4 years. It's tough.

But I'd like to tell you that no matter what, you belong here. Even if you don't feel that way, you do.
Everyone would NOT be better off without you.
And honey, God doesn't make mistakes. You're on this earth for a reason. You have a true purpose, and you're gonna find it one day. Not everyone knows who they're gonna be at 16.

And you've gotta stop trying to make everyone else happy. You're not taking care of yourself! And if being who you are isn't good enough for the people around you then you need to surround yourself with some better people.
I understand how it feels to be where you are. I was there once myself. But I'm not anymore. I changed my life by NOT caring about what everyone else thinks of me. SCREW THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T APPRECIATE YOU.
Literally. You're a great person just as you are. And no, I'm not just saying that. Life is ironic in most cases and mostly, when someone thinks horribly of themselves, it's usually wrong and cultivated by getting caught up in everyone else and their opinions.

And you need to care about yourself. You gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else. And believe me, I didn't understand the full meaning of that statement until I exercised it. It's a whole different world whenever you take care of yourself and love yourself.
You're able to block out all those little voices in your head that tell you that you're not worth it.

I know this was lengthy, but I really wanted to get out as much as I could.
I know you're having a hard time right now, but it will get better if you take to heart what I said.

Feel free to PM/VM me anytime and I'll reply asap. :)

Have a wonderful day!
~Kay. :)

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