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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
~Divergent~ Offline
Struggling again.
I've been here a while
~Divergent~'s Avatar
Name: Hailey
Age: 22
Location: California

Posts: 1,089
Blog Entries: 56
Join Date: September 28th 2012

Arrow I'm ready to talk, but I don't know how to start - November 30th 2012, 02:33 AM

So...if you've read my blog...you know that I've wanting to talk to my coach/ex-teacher about everything that's going on with me for...um...a while (understatement of the year). But I've basically just been too scared. I'm scared of what will happen. And I also didn't know how to do it.

Well, I've figured out how to do it now. I basically have the perfect opportunity, and I really do WANT to do this. I'll deny it when the time comes, but trust me, I do. (Trying to convince myself here.) I've decided that I just want to tell him that my brother has cancer, see what happens, and just kind of wing it after that...I actually do want to tell him more (as a matter of fact, I'd be happy to sit down and tell someone everything), but I want to see what happens first.

So here's my grand plan. My brother (Tyler. He's 11. He's had cancer for 2 years. Mr. D doesn't know, which I regret. Anyway) found out that we play capture the flag every Friday at running club at my school, and now he wants to play with us because he loves capture the flag. Mr. D is usually totally fine with random kids joining us for a day, especially on Fridays (fun days), but he's never had a sixth grader from a different school join us before for obvious reasons. So I'm going to ask him after running club sometime if Tyler can play with us for one day. That also happens to be the golden opportunity to tell him that he has cancer. (FYI, I'm getting nervous just writing this.) I'd be alone in his classroom (door open, of course, haha) and there wouldn't be too many other people in the building. I could just be like "There's something else you should probably know about my brother..." or something.

So this is where I need help from all you awesome people. How should I tell him, exactly? How do I decide if I should tell him more about it (which I kind of want to do) or just leave? Should I base that on his reaction? And how can I prepare for whatever his reaction to it might be? Oh, and do you think he'd tell my mom I talked to him or just let it be? (They chat a lot when they see each other...) Sorry, that's a lot of questions

Just to clear this up beforehand: I don't want to talk to a counselor. I don't want counseling. I just have a good relationship with him as my teacher/coach and want him to know about my brother. I've found that it really helps me A LOT when I know that I have someone I can talk to if I want. It's also getting to a point where I feel like I'm keeping it a "secret" from him, even though I'm not, just because it's such a huge part of my life and who I am.

Any advice would be amazing. Thanks, guys

Member since 9/27/12
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Re: I'm ready to talk, but I don't know how to start - November 30th 2012, 04:33 AM

Hey, Hailey!
First off, I just wanna say I think it's great you're ready and wanting to open up to someone. That can do a lot for you. I think it's amazing. c: I feel bad about it but I gotta admit, I haven't read your blog! I don't read many blogs.

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Hailey. Is he gonna be okay?

As for the questions...

"How do I decide if I should tell him more about it": I'd say just wait till you tell him the first part, then if he reacts the way you hope, then you'll know if you're comfortable telling him the rest. Also, it's smart to plan these things ahead but I'd advise you not to overlook ALL the possibilities of his reaction, it'll make you more nervous.
I don't think he'd tell your mom if you ask him not to. He's clearly trust-worthy if you're opening up to him about sensitive stuff so just let him know you'd like to keep it private. :3

Oh and it's totally okay, you're just considering things and wanting advice, no need to apologize for the questions. ^_^

It does help, I think everyone needs a person to talk to and vent on. Just someone who generally understands. I'd also let him know about the secret thing. Let him know it's so hard opening up to people and that you felt like you could to him. It'd convince him more that you'd like to keep things between you and him.

Good luck, Hailey! I hope I helped. I'd also appreciate it if you could let me know how it goes if you feel comfortable enough sharing it. I hope your brother gets better. Could you keep me updated on your brother? <3

~ Christabel
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