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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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ripjump12 Offline
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Failing School - December 5th 2012, 02:32 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello,

I have been contemplating thoughts of suicide. My grades are now horrible. I am a current Junior in high school. My GPA is always around a 3.4. I have been in love with trains since I was 3 years old, and now I want to go to college to study civil engineering for railroads. The college I want to go into... has high standards. The place is wonderful and almost all the students get a high paying job on the railroads right out of college. If I don't get into a good college, then my future job will be horrible. I will live a depressing life, and I will never find joy.

I am struggling in school right now. I am about to end my first semester of Junior year with a GPA of 3.1 and a C- in physics, and a F in math. I have been told that all colleges look at Junior year the most. There is no time to fix the damage that has been done.

I do not struggle with homework, but I struggle with tests. I cannot study. I get easily distracted by other things and that destroys my test grades. My parents are now yelling at me every night about my horrid grades. They lost all trust in me and they say I can't complete anything.

They are taking away everything. My computer is the last thing I want them to take from me... because it is the only place I can find joy in life at. I currently volunteer on a railroad, but my parents are going to pull me out of that too... and the museum is desperate for volunteers.

I really just want to end it all. Suicide is now reaching the top of my to-do-list. I want to finally finish something. I want to prove that I can pull off something... and that will be suicide.

I have found benefits of suicide. My parents wouldn't have to pay for my college, health insurance, living conditions, food, health, etc. My friends wouldn't have to put up with my stupid things anymore. I would decrease this world's population problem by one person.

I have two options

1) suicide

2) deal with all the future suffering in life.
   
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Re: Failing School - December 5th 2012, 02:44 AM

To me, it sounds like you're a smart guy who is overburdened with stress and pressure to succeed. The anxiety you're experiencing is probably making it easy to be distracted, and it sounds like your parents attitude isn't helping because that will just make it more difficult.

I think you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Try to eat well, sleep well. Take some time to relax.

It might be feasible to go to a junior/community college first and then transfer to the college that you want provided things go well there. I'm sure you're capable of succeeding, but I know how difficult it is to make homework a priority when you're feeling so down. Another possibility is to do well on the SAT or ACT. Finally, you still might be able to work your way into it if you work first. Struggling now is not the end of everything. You still have a lot of time to succeed- just make sure that you are trying to succeed at something that you really want to do. Don't let anyone, especially parents, dictate that to you.

You should also not let your parents take away things you enjoy so much. Volunteer experience looks very good to employers and colleges.

I don't think suicide is the answer and I hope you don't do it. There is so much possibility. I think you just need to be able to let your spirit breathe to some extent and it wont feel so burdensome.



   
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Re: Failing School - December 5th 2012, 11:37 PM

I think that if you really think this through you will realize that suicide isn't really the answer. I bet if you asked your parents they would be mortified that you think this is in anyway a positive and the same goes with your friends. You might not realize it, but the people in your life love and care about you. Maybe you don't get into this top college and maybe you don't even end up going into that field. My siblings all changed their major multiple times. For example, my oldest sister LOVES dealing with people and helping people. Then she took an accounting class in college and discovered how gifted she was in that area. Most people change their minds, because you might love trains, but there is so much more to it. You haven't even had the opportunity to start a family or travel anywhere. There is so much more to life than just schooling. It's important, but if you focus on just that then you're going to be miserable. Trust me I know, that's how I was in school. So take a deep breath and think this through. Maybe even talk to a school counselor

I hope you start relaxin more hun
   
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Re: Failing School - December 5th 2012, 11:48 PM

I am waiting for my exam results at the moment. Currently you are living my worst nightmare . Not about me personally but about my friends. MY WORST NIGHTMARE is to have a friend committ suicide or even think about it because of what their final grades were. Suicide is not worth it, especially not because of this. Why would you kill yourself because you are going through something at the moment.

Thing is, this might be a bad situation, but school is ONE CHAPTER of your life.

This will get better, grades won't matter later in life but suicide is IRREVERSABLE. I mean your life hasn't even started yet, why would you end your life because of this one chapter. My point is, not all days will be as bad as this.

I PROMISE.

As I said grades won't matter later in life. Exam results and GPIs etc, they are only ONE method of getting into ONE form of tertiary education. There are so many options available to you, speak to your careers adviser at your school about this! At a normal university, in a normal course, there are students of all different backgrounds and all different AGES especially. My point is, there are so many ways of getting into your dream course and that doesn't have to be straight away. If you get into university later in life, no one gives a shit about grades from high school.

My advice is talk to your careers adviser and talk about alternative ways of getting into university, call the unievrsity and think about alternatives to getting the course you want.

If you eventually follow your passion, then you WON'T regret having to wait.

BUT FIRST, you have got to think about the alternatives to suicide. SUICIDE IS IRREVERSABLE and it kills OTHER PEOPLE as well. Believe me, if you committ suicide, other people will mourn your death. People care about you man, think about all the people in your lfie adn how they will be effected if you died.

Suicide ain't the answer and high grades in high school ain't the only alternative. Seriously, you don't deserve to be killed by something like low grades, as a student and as someone who has had two friends attempt suicide, please don't.

Your mate,

H.


“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place,
But believe that there is much more good in it than bad.
All you have to do is look hard enough,
And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”

~My Childhood Friend.
   
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