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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy fed up of living some one please help me - December 7th 2012, 10:12 PM

hey guys before i start this is triggering and i need help read this

hey guys so this all started ages ago basicly im in year 11 now but this started at the end of year 10 i was very popular at school i walked around with the popular people i was so cool people hated me and loved me! but i didnt care life was so great ! but i have friends who are also in the years below because im popular and some of them are just them people you talk to a lot on facebook and then when see them u give them a cuddle thats it not like super best friends or anything i had a few friends in the lower year who were helping me with my love issue i liked this girl called lauren she was flirting with me for ages and now i want to ask her out even tho she has stopped flirting a while ago i give immy a poem to giv to lauren it had no name which was the romantic part of this i told lauren it was me on facebook but she didnt feel the same way and this all happend ages ago btw but after tht i lost my popular lvl im not very popular anymore. i still do have a couple of popular friends but people still treat me like shit people hate i get made fun of now i have ocd im a slow learner and i have had this depression for some time now 4 mounths and i cant deal with it anymore AND I FORGOT TO TELL YOU MY FRIEND SEAN WHOS IN THE LOWER YEAR BELOW ME HE IS NOW GOING OUT WITH LAUREN HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO HRT ME BUT I JUST TOLD HIM TO GO AND HAVE HER WE ARE STILL FRIENDS AND LAUREN AND SEAN ARE STILL TOGETHER I NO LONGER HAVE FEELINGS FOR LAUREN i hate my life i have harly any friends anymore im having to hide in the toilets at lunch time or do homework so people who know me ont see me walking around alone i ahte my life its all gone shit on me i get taken the mick out of becaue of my emo hair because i changed it so quickly and people was not use to the chnange i still get funny looks for it i just wanna meet some one at the moment there are loads of pretty girls at school i was gonna get to know phil but my mate sean whos friendly with her said that shes getting a boyfriend son which made me feel worse to be honest i also like to dress in black and stuff yet when i go to collage i want to get like a non emo girl friend or not so emo if ya know what i mean i like to show people that im a bmthfan by wearing all the t shirts but i dnt wanna be a mo loser when i go to collage i know i shuld not change my self for other peope i know that but if i have to i have to dont i i go to collage next year so i am getting ready i leave school this year. im hated at school now for some reason peope attack me for no reason i get called a faggout for completely no reason im depressed half the time im awake and fed up with it to be honest this is not the best i could do to explain because at the moment my mind is thinking to positively i have forgotten half of my problems but i think i have coverd a lot of it people dot seem to find me atractive at schol for some reason girls who dot like me call me baby to make fun of me but im good friends with some of the pretty girls i really want to find the right girl one day who just right for me i dont wanna be alone for the rest of my life same with friends i just hate my life im worthless!!!! ant by the way when i talk about sean earlyer he is also the one tht helped me get over luren and gave me the tis on how to get her and helpped me when i ws depressed i love him but hes going out with lauren now .... they were always goodd friends by the way also sean saw lauren reject me and what it did to me
   
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Re: fed up of living some one please help me - December 7th 2012, 10:22 PM

Hey there mate,

I'm sorry to see you struggling with problems at school. Nobody should go through this type of group bullying, but it seems it is widely more popular in these current years though.

One: I hate stereotypes, and just because you love wearing black, have the hair, doesn't necessarily make you emo. I cut, wear black and I'm called emo but I'm not, which is one reason I hate stereotypes coz people get it so wrong! But, if you are, it doesn't fuss me, I have a few actual emo/goth friends.

Two: It's hard to have love-hate relationships and one day, one mistake, snap the ties go and yes they would inevitably hate you. Being popular is overated, I went from top of the social scene to the bottom when I moved schools and I'm glad I have a small group of friends now. Make new friends, nothing is holding you back, yes they make fun of you but it isn't the end of the world.
The girls your friends with, stay friends with them. Be the guy who hangs out with them. I know a kid and he hangs out with all the girls and he often hugs all of them, including me.

Three: The depression issue. You don't have to live with depression, maybe go to a guidance councillor or go to a pschiatrist and get something for it. Don't let depression lead into other things.

Also, life isn't worthless, just focus on the things that matter, those friends would probably not even be your friends in a couple of years, everyone loses their friends in the years of college coz that is where the larger changes happen.
Get your head into sending out applications to colleges, studying, finish exams and whatnot.

Your buddy,

Jay.


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Re: fed up of living some one please help me - December 7th 2012, 11:09 PM

Hi!

I'm sorry about what you're going through. I realize it must be difficult.
First off, popularity does not matter. If you were popular back then and had so many friends and now you aren't popular and they all "hate" you
then they weren't friends to begin with. Real friends will love you if you're rich/poor/popular/invisible. If they dropped you as soon as you weren't popular anymore than I say just forget them. Wait and be strong enough to wait for good friends that'll stick with you, friends you deserve.
As for Lauren and Sean. Sorry to hear about that, it can be hard watching someone you love go out with a friend... I think it's brave to tell him it's okay to go out with her. You're a good friend. But umm... If it's still affecting you then I think it'd be for the best to be honest with Sean about your feelings towards her.
Also, as Jay said, I agree. Sterotypes suck. Don't change how you act, dress, think for ANYONE. Don't go down that path. It's a very confusing and lonely path trying to be what everyone wants. Be yourself, dress however you want. If someone deserves you, they won't try to change you. So don't change yourself for anyone. Of course in some relationships there are compromises you have to make. As in love I mean. Sometimes it's just good to be honest about how you feel and what upsets you. But don't change how you dress and what you like. I think it's wrong.
With others making fun of you, that's their loss... Focus on homework and go about your life. They spend all these years making other people feel so low. Then as it turns out... They're the ones that fail school. Just try your best to keep going. They'll eventually be someone in your love you'll love and the love will be returned. As well as friends. In collage there'll probably be lots of people that like you and wanna be friends with you. Hang in there, sweetie. I know, easier said than done, but every dark cloud runs out of rain.
If you're depressed. I think it'd be best to talk to your parents about how you're feeling. Or a principle or counselor at school. Do you have a therapist?
Another thing, some new hobbies would help. Find something you enjoy. It'll help take your mind off a lot of things.

Not sure if this helps and I'm sorry if I got some of it mixed up. I get so confused if things aren't spaced out... Just hope you can find it a wee bit helpful. Good luck. Feel free to PM/VM me if you need someone to talk to. Stay strong. <3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: fed up of living some one please help me - December 20th 2012, 09:06 PM

Hey there,

I know that you may be afraid of how your style may affect you in the future, but you definitely have the right to be who you are! Don't be afraid to dress how you want, listen to what you want, and wear what you want. You deserve to be happy in your own body and with your own interests. There will always be people out there that will love you and care about you for who you are, no matter what your interests are. Popularity doesn't matter as much as you think, as long as you are a great person, which I know that you are. Personally, all someone needs is a small group of friends around them that they feel they can talk to. Forget about the friends who left you and focus on the ones who have stayed with you. They are your real friends. If you want, you can join clubs either at this school or in college where you will be able to meet other people with common interests. Maybe it will help knowing someone has a similar interest to you. Maybe in college you'll meet even better people than you have now. There will be people from all paths there. Those who make fun of you, screw 'em! They're only saying it to bring you down. Don't let them, because what they say isn't true.

Like Christabel said, it can really hurt when you see a friend going out with the person you have liked. It is okay if you talk to Sean about these feelings, and even though it may not make him break up with her, maybe he can at least tone it down a little bit when you are near the two of them so it doesn't hurt as much.But, as they say, there will be plenty of fish in the sea! You'll find the right girl for you someday, I just know it.

As far as the depression goes, I really recommend reaching out to someone for support. You don't have to suffer in silence. For instance, you can talk to a guidance counselor at school, therapist, or your doctor. They won't yell at you or judge you, but instead will try to help you through what is going on. You can also reach out to your family or teachers, or anyone you trust.

Remember that "everything will be okay in the end, so if it's not okay, it's not the end." I promise you that you can get through this. Things won't stay bad forever. There are plenty of people out there to meet. You have places to go, things to do, and goals to complete. There is always a reason to keep smiling, whether it is listening to some awesome music, doing a hobby, or anything, really! So, keep fighting and keep finding reasons to smile, because the fight will be worth it.

Hang in there.

-Dez


   
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