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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Sk33t.sk33t Offline
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Name: Marina :]
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Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 20th 2012, 07:20 AM

Growin up, I had a mother that was an addict. She was into meth, alcohol, prostitution, & thick eyeliner. I lived house to house, in a car, even on the streets. I was molested 3 times. Once, my mom was passed out on the bed about a foot away from me. My biological father was killed in a gang related fight. I never felt an unconditional love you're supposed to feel from your parents. I was 7 when I moved in with my great grandmother. I grew up into a shy awkward teenager. Never really had a reliable group of friends. Never partied. Never drank. Never got into drugs.

As I look back, I think to myself. Am I being concieted by saying I'm depressed and have had thoughts of suicide? What about tje prophesied are dealing with this now? Wait, impelling with this now.

I have this constant battle within myself about my whole childhood. Like it was my fault it all happened. Is this because I'm denying it? I don't want this to become who I am.

._.
   
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 20th 2012, 07:23 AM

Sorrrry for all the typos!! >_< 'What about tje prophesied are dealing with this now? Wait, impelling with this ' what about the people that are dealing with this now? Wait, I'm dealing with this now.
   
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 20th 2012, 09:47 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you feel like this. You appear to have gone through a lot. I can relate to some of it: I had my own negative experiences as a child. When you said that you grew up to be shy and awkward, well, that's what I'm like too. I've never really had friends I could rely on. Nor have I ever partied or done any of those other things most teenagers do. You don't have to drink or do drugs anyway. I know it can be hard not to feel pressured to do so, but it's really not worth the damage you could do to yourself.

I think the best thing you can do right now is learn to let go of what's happened in the past and move on. You said that you have a "constant battle" within yourself, mostly reflecting on your childhood. You would be better off if you just moved on and started over. This won't be easy, it will take time and effort to get over the past, but it will be well worth it in the end.

I know you're unhappy with how your life has turned out, but it's never too late to start over. You can change it! The world is full of new opportunities, and there is only one person who can prevent you from availing of these opportunities, and that person is you.

There are plenty of resources on the web that may help you. Have a look at these links:
Link 1
Link 2

I hope I helped. If you ever need help or just need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

Take care,
Gareth

Last edited by Catharsis.; December 20th 2012 at 11:57 AM.
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 20th 2012, 04:50 PM

You are so true. I've dealt with this everyday ever since I realized how ot has affected me. Dwelling on the past will keep me in the same position. I am all about change. Thank you so much. I seriously am looking at life in a whole other perspective :]
   
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 20th 2012, 05:14 PM

No problem, I'm glad I helped.

As I said before, if you ever need help again or you just want someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me.
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 22nd 2012, 11:15 PM

Will do :]
   
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Re: Am I depressed? Or unhappy how my life turned out? - December 23rd 2012, 10:19 AM

Hey there, Marina. I'm Christabel. Saw you already got a post but figured I'd offer my advice as well. c:

You're still at a young age and certainly didn't deserve all these things going on. So sorry to hear about everything you've been through. There are of course bad stages and bad things in life but suicide isn't the answer to any problem because there's always just as much good things as bad if you look beyond things. There'll always be that silver lining in the dark clouds that you really have to search for, but it is there.

I know it's hard but the best thing to do is feel out everything you feel about this. Admit it to yourself and learn to accept the things. That's when you can begin to heal and move on with your life. It could be depression but it's difficult for us at TeenHelp to say. A therapist or counselor could really help if you haven't already been to one yet. You could learn a lot about yourself and have a better chance at figuring out if it's depression or sadness from past events. Don't be ashamed in getting help. Are you in public school? Could you possibly talk to a teacher or principle?

Remember though, what your mom did, and about your dad, you don't have to follow in their footsteps. It never has to define you. From now on after admitting this, you can shape your future and who you are. You have control of it and you still have your innocence. Use that to improve yourself to the fullest and remember nobody is perfect.

If you need a friend then I'd certainly love to talk with you. All my contact info is in my signature below if you ever need me.

You can get through this, stay strong, darling.

~ Christabel
   
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