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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Yay? - December 21st 2012, 04:43 AM

Hey guys,
Lately I've been experiencing growing intensity to my really drastic mood swings and I've noticed that internally I've been building up a lot of rage. It's always been as though my friends expect me to act in a certain way and my family doesn't tolerate anger in any form so I've learnt to confide my real emotions. Recently it's been getting harder for me to control and while my friends like when I'm in a really good mood, they get frustrated when I suddenly stop talking to them because I get angry and upset for no reason. My mood swings started a few years ago when a close friend of mine broke my trust and so I somehow altered my personality. I can go from dancing and being really happy to just sitting in the corner not talking to anyone, just feeling like shit and sometimes I start thinking about suicide. Could these mood swings somehow be linked to my depression? Or am I using my happy mood swings to try and cover up my depression because I can't handle it? I also need advice on how to release some of my anger because out of the things I've tried, cutting seems to be the only thing that works and since I haven't done it in a while and I don't want to, I'm afraid that I'm going to start taking it out on other people. Any help would be appreciated


I could dwell on my problems... But I'd rather make a milkshake...
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 05:13 AM

It's possible you're suffering from depression, and possibly other things, Bi-Polar is 1 that definitely comes to mind with the switching moods. As far as finding alternatives to get your anger out, etc or to deal with it. Possibly check out the Alternatives sticky here.
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 05:18 AM

Hey there girly,

I'm glad you're reaching out here It's a very good step!

Sometimes when you have depression you can have high periods and low periods. If you want you can look up the different types of depression of have a look here:


you can look at causes, treatments etc on this site

You might have bi-polar disorder, but we at Teenhelp cannot successfully diagnose you and you will have to have a psyche analysis to determine what you do have.

Hope this helps,

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 05:44 AM

Hi, Tiazz!
Glad you decided to post, it's the first step by admitting you have an issue. I think it is possible it could be linked to depression but us at TeenHelp can't say for sure. Your best bet I think would be talking to a therapist/counselor at school or even a principle/teacher. Or maybe talking to your friends and letting them know how you feel you have to keep things inside. I'd also talk to your family about how you feel and how their ways are making you feel as you can't express anger. Communication is important.

Jay provided you with the alternatives link. I think it could help to check it out. I know self harm may seem to help and be your only outlet but it could become addictive and bring even more negative emotions. You'll find yourself constantly having to hide yourself in front of family and friends. It's not worth it so please try and find something other to do besides selfharm, such as a new hobby or doing something you enjoy. Or taking a nap when you feel you need to self-harm, listen to music. Whatever helps you and keeps you from hurting yourself.

By the way, suicide is NOT the way to go. You're unique, special and no one else in the world is the same as you. That makes you really special. You don't deserve feeling this way and having to hurt yourself. You deserve happiness and one day that can be obtained. It's all about going down the rocky road till you get to the smoothness. There's a lot of great things in life you haven't experienced. Don't throw it away.

You can PM/VM or E-Mail me if you ever need me. I'd love to talk with you and become friends. I can listen.

Stay strong, you can do this. I know it. <3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 06:08 AM

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the advice
Christabel, I have a lot of reasons as to why I can't talk to anyone I personally know about this. The school counsellor at my school is the same as the nurse who is extremely unsympathetic and I don't think I could deal with sitting down and talking to her. My favourite teacher has left on maternity leave and I would feel uncomfortable to speak to any others. I've spoken to two of my friends about it. One of them has now started treating me weird and every time we talk she acts melodramatically and talks about how she hates her life even though I know she doesn't and makes me feel like she's mocking my feelings. The other one told all of our other friends and her mum, even though I asked her to respect what I told her and not share it. My dad doesn't understand people with mental disorders and my mum is never home and whenever she is she's too tired and doesn't have time for me. My sister would not believe me, she thinks people with depression are crazy. My family have already made it clear that I can't express anger around them, and I know that won't change from communication. Also, I have a lot of sport, music and academic commitments already and I would overload myself if I tried to take on something else as well.
Thank you though, it's good to know that some people care


I could dwell on my problems... But I'd rather make a milkshake...
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 06:13 AM

Aw okay. I understand that. Sorry about how your family is about your feelings. And your friends too.

Well I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you need someone to listen. I won't judge and frankly, I know how it feels to feel lonely even with your family because you can't share feelings. I'm sorry.

~ Christabel
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 06:19 AM

Okay. Thank you


I could dwell on my problems... But I'd rather make a milkshake...
   
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Re: Yay? - December 21st 2012, 06:23 AM

You're welcome, Darling.

~ Christabel
   
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